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Gearhead Gertie, 5/1/25

When you have a main character with a strong and deranged point of view, like Gertie in Gearhead Gertie, the question arises: are we meant to think that she’s insane, or that she’s the sane one in an insane universe that only she fully understands? The Gearhead Gertie strips where we see Gertie’s husband (LORE DROP: Gertie’s husband’s name is “Harold”) getting increasingly exasperated by her NASCAR monomania seem to indicate the former; but today’s strip, in which we learn that Gertie’s negative opinion about Formula One (a sport that millions of people in our universe enjoy and find exciting) is in fact objectively correct proves that, within the boundaries of this panel, it truly is Gearhead Gertie’s world and the rest of these poor unfortunate souls are just living in it.

Mary Worth, 5/1/25

Hey, fun fact: did you know that the dish Belle is referring to is usually called “black pudding,” because these days even non-vegans find the idea of eating blood a little gross, and there are in fact tons of vegan recipes for it? A lot of them are pretty low calorie, too. So maybe chill out a little, Dawn, I think you might be overreacting to this one.

Archie, 5/1/25

I’ve always admired the names of many of the adult characters in Archie Comics. “Geraldine Grundy,” “Waldo Weatherbee,” “Hiram Lodge,” “Professor Elmer Flutesnoot”: all god-tier comics names. Sadly, Archie’s dad is just “Fred Andrews,” which is much less interesting, though honestly he’s a much less interesting character, and I frankly have never really gotten a handle on what his deal is supposed to be. I guess he finds Archie irritating? Look at how aggrieved he is here, for instance. Hey, Fred, you ever think that your son’s lack of grit and time management skills might be at least partly your fault? You treat your son with disdain yet you proudly drink from a “#1 Dad” mug! You’ve got some self-reflection to do, mister.

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Shoe, 4/30/25

I dunno, the genuinely freaked out expression on this guy’s face, plus the fact that he’s wearing makeshift combat gear, including an outdated helmet, right here in Roz’s restaurant seems less “Ha ha, this dummy joined the ARMY and he doesn’t know what the army is even FOR” so much as “the front lines have collapsed, the enemy is pushing towards Treetops at a rapid pace, the desk-job soldiers who barely remember basic training are allowed one last meal before being rushed into a last-ditch defense with inadequate gear,” so I really wouldn’t look so smug if I were the Perfesser.

Alice, 4/30/25

Oh, sorry, I realize I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what Alice has been up to. What she’s been up to is apparently yelling at her mother’s (?) grave, which has been carved at her mother’s request to indicate that she’d rather be dead than be around listening to Alice.

Heathcliff, 4/30/25

Hmm, I endorsed it when Heathcliff began to impose his will on others by forcing them to dress in uniforms that matched his own fur patterns. But donning such a uniform himself, over his fur? That just seems weird. Not sure I approve. I guess you can’t argue with results, but still.

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Family Circus, 4/29/25

Look, we all make fun of the crania of the various Family Circus children. “Melonheads,” we call them, and it’s become enough of a cliche that we don’t really think about it, really. That’s why it’s just a terrible idea for any individual Family Circus panel to invite us to contemplate the children’s heads in particular. Because they look awful. Like really unpleasant. There’s like a … lobe thing happening on the left side (our right) of these two’s heads, I think it’s supposed to be part of their hair but it’s drawn like it’s a curve in their skull? Don’t care for it. Don’t care for it all. The freckles don’t look great either, for what that’s worth.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/29/25

Welp, the cops came and arrested the dying stalker murderer guy without incident, so I guess we can take a measured breath and move on to the next plot and … oh, what’s this? Kelly’s rushed breathlessly back from college to learn what’s been going on all this time? Well, sure I supposed I have time to watch Summer recap the not particularly exciting last few weeks. I’m not going anywhere! Let’s roll with it! Probably could kill three or four days with this.