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B.C., 5/30/26

Look, I’m not a scientist, and I’m also not brave enough to have “how do turtles have sex” left in my Google image search history, but I know enough to know they don’t get inside each other’s shells. Their shells are part of them! That’d be gross! It wouldn’t be sexy at all! Also, I enjoy that you can tell in panel one that lady turtle did in fact wax her shell. It’s not just a pick-up line, it was inspired by actual events.

Andy Capp, 5/30/26

“But thanks to Brexit, we no longer have to worry about awkward cross-cultural encounters with dastardly Europeans like these! Now to take a big sip of room temperature beer and check out how the economy of our port city, dependent as it is on imports and exports, has been doing since we left the common market that all our close neighbors belong to.”

Archie, 5/30/26

Not a big fan of that detailed, close-up look at Mr. Weatherbee’s face in panel three! Don’t like it one bit, actually! It’s gonna haunt my nightmares for weeks!

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Andy Capp, 5/19/26

Today’s Andy Capp serves two different and distinct audiences: (1) Brits opposed to socialized medicine who will shove it in the face of the average taxpayer and say “Do you want your National Insurance contributions wasted keeping this lout alive?”, and (2) perverts who have been waiting since this strip’s debut in 1957 to see Andy with his shirt off.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/19/26

Mud has always had a vague air of menace since he first showed up in this strip, and while it’s waxed and waned, many of us have been wondering “Is this guy ever gonna beat the shit out of someone or what?” We may at last get an answer!

Crock, 5/19/26

You ever get curious about what the Crock guys in the isolated guard tower do with themselves all day? It’s pills! The answer is that they’re doin’ pills!

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The Phantom, 5/1/26

Look, I’ll admit it: I’ve taken something of a shine to this sailor in his service whites, who’s mildly bonking the Nomad on his head with a nightstick and has decided that he’s got way too much dignity to say “Ignis Vindicta” aloud so he’s just going to call the dude “Mr. Freaky.” I mean, he’s a guard at Guantanamo Bay, so I’m very much not going to look into his opinions about human rights, but I am enjoying his vibes today.

Andy Capp, 5/1/26

I think it’s very funny that Andy Capp, a guy who’s usually badgering his friends and acquaintances for enough money to buy exactly one beer, has apparently also been doing the same thing at the local bank for who knows how long. I think the fact that he hasn’t been hit with an ASBO banning him from getting closer than 100 meters of the bank entrance says a lot about why the UK isn’t the financial industry behemoth it once was.

Shoe, 5/1/26

When you start in on this one, you think, “Uh oh, are we going to learn about the Shoeniverse’s bird-person BDSM scene?” But then you get to the second panel and realize that this is just a joke that was built backwards from an extremely thin bit of wordplay, which comes as something of a relief. Anyway, this guy only likes being emotionally abused!

Mary Worth, 5/1/26

“Mary Worth thinks loneliness and horniness are the same emotion” feels like it’s the key to unlocking a lot of stuff. Not quite sure of all the implications but I’ll be meditating on it all weekend, that’s for sure!