Archive: Andy Capp

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/13/26

In The City of God, St. Augustine famously tells a story of a pirate who had been captured by Alexander the Great: “When that king had asked the man what he meant by keeping hostile possession of the sea, he answered with bold pride, ‘What do you mean by seizing the whole earth? Because I do it with a petty ship, I am called a robber, while you who does it with a great fleet are styled emperor.’” Now, Augustine’s point is that a king who rules without virtue is simply a brigand on a larger scale; but Hagar, whose opinions on the new religion from the south are mixed at best, takes the harder-headed view, more common among modern commentators, that recognizes the similarities between states and criminal enterprises without necessarily applying moral valence to it. The king is stronger than Hagar, so he must submit to his cruelties, but he also looks forward to passing them down the line to his own victims.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/13/26

So Lyle Ollman, the inventor of the Mirakle Method, is the grandfather of the scam twins Jean and Jane, and Rene/Jimmy is their uncle, but Lyle is also Rene’s uncle and … I don’t think that really works? I guess it works if whichever of Lyle’s children is a parent to the twins married someone whose sibling married Rene in a weird sibling/cousin double marriage situation, but Rene doesn’t seem like the marrying kind; it could also be that one of Rene’s siblings married his or her own first cousin to produce these two kids. It’s also possible that this whole family suffers from intense, multigenerational nephewism and nobody has any parents at all: it’s just uncles as far back as anyone can remember.

Andy Capp, 7/13/26

“Yeah I’m trying to lose some ugly excess weight … by which I mean my spouse, whom I hate!” is a classic and beloved joke format of course, and I suppose it was inevitable that it would get a GLP-1 spin eventually, but I don’t think anyone expected it to happen in Andy Capp first.

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Beetle Bailey, 6/27/26

Beetle looks like he’s in a great mood in panel two, and honestly, why wouldn’t he be? He got a pass into town and all he had to do to get it was agree to run a quick errand for his friend — an errand that honestly seems pretty fun in and of itself. Who doesn’t like going to the bakery? They have pastries there!

Andy Capp, 6/27/26

The question of what year Andy Capp takes place in is still, in my opinion, a live one, but perhaps it’s best phrased as “Yes, it’s 2026, but what year is Hartlepool in, culturally?” Disco may be the new hotness today, but the UK’s probable next Prime Minister is from the North, so I am confident that he’ll uplift this forgotten backwater at least to the point where they’re aware of the Oasis/Blur feud.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/27/26

I’m still not afraid to point out that Mother Goose and Grimm is more and more often using widely known, decades-old jokes as its punchlines, though I have to admit that these dogs’ extremely grave facial expressions give this tired line an interesting twist. “Do it, Grimm,” says Ralph. “Put the gun in your mouth, if you’re serious about this.”

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Hi and Lois, 6/4/26

Honestly there’s a really sad story written on Ditto’s dumbfounded face in panel two. “Oh, wow, I guess he barks all the time because he craves attention and affection? Huh. I feel bad now!”

Andy Capp, 6/4/26

Andy Capp is really educating me about the United Kingdom: it’s a country that loves art and includes a town named Beer. Admittedly it’s a tiny village of less than 1,300 people, which is surprising given that Britain is (another fact I’ve learned from Andy Capp) an island of inveterate alcoholics.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/4/26

Doug, no! The Glenwood Hotel’s whole deal is that it’s a run-down piece of shit! You’re going to screw with the whole brand!