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Six Chix, 9/17/24

An image search for “batman cat images” yielded mostly AI, fanart, and creepy photos of pets in Halloween costumes. So I’m guessing the doll here is really Catboy from the Disney Jr. series PJ Masks. That would put Tuesday Chick’s childhood no earlier than 2015, which seems a little too recent for nostalgia. Maybe closer to “recollection” but who knows? Kids these days!

Beetle Bailey, 9/17/24

There’s no joke here unless the captain gets sanctioned for colorful language.

Crankshaft, 9/17/24

Oh my goodness who could possibly have seen this coming? But what I really want to know is how many levels of irony it is when Les’s students read Fahrenheit 451 by the light of a burning bookstore. Or if that pumper is actually headed to Ed’s house to put out a grill fire.

Andy Capp, 9/17/24

The full text of Proverbs 19:4 (RSV2) is, “Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.” So Andy selflessly keeps his money to maintain a treasured friendship, and look at the thanks he gets!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Gasoline Alley, 9/19/17

Love-sick Rufus done got lost in the funnies! But his contract done restricted his wanderings to the premium content offerings from the Tribune Content Agency, LLC! Alas, it’s too late for him to woo Brenda Starr on the rebound, or hit the road with Annie. But maybe he’ll turn up as the twelfth Mudlark on field in Gil Thorp? As a lovable man-goat in Pluggers? Stark naked in Love Is?

Funky Winkerbean, 9/19/17

Hey it’s Funky Winkerbean, beloved product of Batom, Inc., with syndication in North America thoughtfully provided by North America Syndicate, Inc. It’s been a while, because last week was one long, tiresome block of exposition from Buck Bedlow, high-school rival of Bull Bushka here. Bull, of course, is suffering progressive mental deterioration from injuries sustained at the hands, shoulder pads, and helmet of this very guy, and now we learn how it happened: Bull was actually a pretty lousy football player. His memories of high-school glory are therefore false and terrible, and losing them will be no big deal.

“Wow, that takes a load off my mind, heh heh — thanks for stopping by, buddy!”

Andy Capp, 9/19/17

None of your fancy-schmancy chronic traumatic encephalopathy for treasured Creators Syndicate legacy character Andy Capp. He earns his memory loss.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/19/17

The Morgans — including newly-minted Morgan John Carter — at home. Rex consumes premium content from King Features Syndicate, a unit of media conglomerate Hearst Corporation, on some kind of antique flat foldy-paper thing; June does so in the normal, sensible way. The narration box reminds us that “time passes,” but I’m pretty sure Hearst has already got that figured out.

All that plugging, and still not a dime from the syndicates! Good thing the Comics Curmudgeon has such generous readers! Thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Herb and Jamaal, 5/2/16

Aww, an old friend … like whatever beloved buddy Jamaal killed, cremated, put in that urn, and stone-cold pawned to save on columbarium fees? Watch your back, Herb. Nice to know he’ll visit, though — I guess that’s what old friends are for.

Andy Capp, 5/2/16

Considering all the sexual directions this conversation could have taken, I’m glad it turned out to be about soccer.

Momma, 5/2/16

Am I the only person put off when medical staff say ‘Doctor’ as if There Were Only One? It smacks of status signalling, the way even soi-disant “horizontal” organizations signal their actual hierarchies by calling staff by last names, managers by first, executives by initials or nicknames, and CEOs only as “he” or “she.” OK for employees, I guess, but I’m the doc’s customer, dammit.

Anyway, for years I thought Momma’s surname was Hobbes — with an “e” — because she’s “… solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” I guess “Doctor” will find that out soon enough.

B.C., 5/2/16

Six thousand years ago, just before evolution stopped, moose — even the well-endowed ones — sported delicate little bird-tails that provoked religious zealots into orgies of murderous rage.

– Uncle Lumpy