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Shoe, 9/21/11

Here’s the thing about jokes of the form “you put the X in Y,” where X represents one or more syllables in Y: the humor only works if the X makes up a part of Y even though the two words are not related semantically. For instance, if your significant other had travelled into orbit as part of the U.S. space program, it would be funny if, after admiring their attractive backside, you said, “Baby, you put the ‘ass’ in ‘astronaut.'” However, if you were dating an Olympic champion, you shouldn’t say, “Baby, you put the ‘win’ in ‘winner,'” as that would sound very, very stupid. “Crank,” in the sense of an eccentric, obsessive person, is actually derived from “cranky,” so the level of wordplay here is pretty disappointing to say the least.

(OK, I admit that I launched into that etymological and linguistic lecture entirely because I’m particularly proud of the “you put the ‘ass’ in ‘astronaut'” joke I thought up.)

Anyway, I do enjoy the cranky old Biz character in Shoe despite the fact that he’s being linguistically ill-used here. I particularly like the fact that he’s angrily berating Roz for always serving him tasteless tasteless food, and yet he nevertheless comes to Roz’s to eat all the time. Isn’t there some other bird-restaurant where the bird-people of Shoe eat? I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of snooty place where they serve fancy bird-French food. Maybe Biz can’t afford it, on his bird-Social Security.

Spider-Man, 9/21/11

So, just to keep you up to date, Peter Parker is insisting that, because a bunch of sick kids are expecting Spider-Man to visit them at the hospital, he must go to the hospital, even though the police are after him and also know that he’s planning to visit the hospital. Because if there’s one thing those sick kids want to see, it’s their hero getting arrested.

Apartment 3-G, 9/21/11

Ruby has heard you complaining about how her hair is dumb, and has responded by dying it Manic Panic red! That … that’s what you wanted, right?

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Apartment 3-G, 9/11/11

On this solemn day of remembrance, it seems trivial to mock the comics. And yet we must acknowledge that one particular comic is helping us heal. What better way to honor the memory of those who died on 9/11 than to browbeat some unwilling girl into marrying you just because she doesn’t want to make you look like a jerk in front of your family? NEVER FORGET 9/11/11: the day Paul’s jet planes of love crashed into Lu Ann’s heart.

Mary Worth, 9/11/11

Or you could have Mary Worth call you! I’m sure that’s very comforting. “Hmm, that’s odd, Lois never seems to be home when I call to talk to her about her dead son. Could she be avoiding me? No, that world require some kind of advanced technology that would allow you to identify a caller before you answer the phone. Guess I’ll just keep leaving voice mail messages, about death!”

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Pluggers, 9/9/11

Now, non-pluggers, you’re probably confused to see a chicken she-plugger refer to her dog husband as “Henny”. This doesn’t mean that he’s taken his wife’s name — ha ha, that would be unthinkable! She’s just name-checking to Henny Youngman, who was the world’s most prominent producer of humor around the time pluggers stopped paying attention to pop culture forever.

Two somewhat subtle points about this panel that I think are important for its correct interpretation: one, this jokey plugger is standing next to a (presumably spiked) punchbowl; and two, there are kangaroo pluggers. In other words, this guy is getting drunk and telling racist jokes at 7 p.m., much to his wife’s horror.

Apartment 3-G, 9/9/11

Fellas! A lady sure does like it when you propose marriage to her without having had any kind of discussion with her about it in advance. She especially likes it when you put her on the spot in front of your entire family, leaving her in the incredibly awkward position of either humiliating you in front of your loved ones or accepting a proposal that she’s still ambivalent about. Try it out on the girl you’ve been dating for a few weeks, and her eyes will almost certainly bug out with love and adoration, just like Lu Ann’s are in panel two.