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Cathy, 10/3/10

Being America’s #1 Newspaper Comics Blogger is in fact a pretty sweet gig, but sometimes there are heavy responsibilities that go along with it. For instance, you are expected to have opinions about things that you don’t really want to have opinions about, like the end of Cathy! Readers of this blog know that my feelings about the strip range, depending on the day and the punchline, from disinterest to irritation to occasional mild but shameful amusement. In Cathy’s very first mention on this blog, I openly rooted for the Cathy-Irving marriage to herald the demise of the strip; probably if it had wrapped up back then, in the summer of 2004, I wouldn’t have felt a need to weigh in.

It is important to remember that when Cathy launched in 1976, it was actively new and exciting and, in the grand scheme of things, good for a newspaper comic to focus on a lady who was unmarried and had a job. Sally Forth mined some of the same novelty (minus the unmarried part) when it launched a few years later; but Sally was always a more or less fully functional human being, whereas Cathy is a nightmare bundle of neuroses. The fact that the character always seemed to take every negative stereotype about women and extend them to cringe-inducing extremes made it hard to celebrate it as a feminist achievement.

But still, there is one thing we can really thank the strip for, and that is only revealing Cathy’s successful insemination in the final strip, rather than subjecting us to God knows how many months of strips about morning sickness. And maternity clothes! Good lord, can you imagine all the strips with Cathy trying on maternity clothes? Sparing all of us this was a true act of mercy.

Apartment 3-G, 10/3/10

Meanwhile, in happier news, the predicted Tommie-ignoring is proceeding apace! “I had always dreamed of having a huge wedding party, but really, other than the two of you, who else is there?”

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Judge Parker, 10/1/10

I realize that I haven’t been keeping you abreast (Ha! See what I did there?) of developments in Judge Parker, so: Neddy and her breasts have dumped Jules, but the three of them will still be accompanying him to his big shoe show in Milan. Because she adores him! And the best thing you can do when you adore someone is to hang out with him immediately after you break up with him, torturing him with the failure of your relationship together, in the midst of a stressful professional engagement that could make or break his career. That’s just what best friends do!

Family Circus, 10/1/10

Man, I have never seen the Family Circus kids looking more wracked with ennui than they do here. “You’ll start makin’ it when you start losin’ teeth,” Dolly says, with the dead-eyed expression of someone who now just sits around the house all day, feeling her teeth with her tongue and waiting for the next one to fall out so she can add to her pile. PJ, meanwhile, is utterly unimpressed with her hoard of cash. “What’s the point?” he thinks to himself. “All this money hasn’t made Dolly happy. No amount of money could make any of us happy. Why go on? Why do anything at all?”

Apartment 3-G, 10/1/10

Hey, remember when a newly made-over and re-energized Tommie was going to take the world by storm and have interesting adventures? Yeah, me neither. Oh, look, it’s a plotline involving two ancillary Apartment 3-G characters! Let’s watch Lu Ann and Margo deal with this for the next six to nine weeks.

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Ha ha, remember last week, when you woke up bright and early every day with Uncle Lumpy’s comedy stylings? Well, you’re with me now, and you’ll take posts at random times and you’ll like it.

Mary Worth, 9/28/10

Oh … oh God. Without even the benefit of a Charterstone pool party to cleanse the palate, Mary has moved on from matchmaking to start her most ambitious meddle yet: the Mother of the Bride Meddle. Sure, she isn’t technically Adrian’s mother, or even her stepmother, but she’s served as Jeff’s platonic yet monogamous consort ever since she killed his wife in ritual combat, so she’s the closest thing Adrian’s got. Mary’s passive-aggressive commentary on the inadequacies of the dress, DJ, floral arrangements, wedding invitation fonts/paper stock, and attendants that Adrian has selected will be delicious. If we’re really lucky, she’ll insist that they make it a double wedding with her new favorite couple, the now merged into wholeness Mike and Jenna.

Mark Trail, 9/28/10

“Wait, did I say ‘cagey,’ as in ‘reluctant to give information due to caution or suspicion?’ Ha ha, that makes no sense. I mean ‘caged,’ because I’ve transformed my property into a giant cage by means of miles of chain-link fence. Not that this cage-hunting business won’t be exciting and challenging! Do you gentlemen smell something gubernatorial in here? I think you’ll find that it’s me!”

Apartment 3-G, 9/28/10

Oh, look, Lu Ann is still acting like a sullen teenager over her hair. Yep, haven’t missed much!