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Archive: Apartment 3-G

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Reunited and it feels … fine, I guess

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Apartment 3-G, 10/6/14

Good news, everyone! The non-Tommie Apartment 3-G gals have finally reappeared, after nearly five months! I think it was five months. That’s based on the dates I came up with for this post from June; obviously everything that’s happened in this strip since has obliterated by ability to perceive the normal passage of time, but it’s probably right. Anyway, it’s good to see that our three roommates have fallen right into their usual pecking order. “Hey, Lu Ann, I missed you, and OH GOD MARGO YOU ARE THE EVERYTHING, THE ANIMATING FORCE BEHIND ALL CREATION, WITHOUT YOU EVERY PLANET AND EVERY STAR WITHERS AND DIES”

Apartment 3-G, 10/6/14

Normally Billy weeks at the Family Circus are are just excuses for fake-crude drawings and not-fun-awful puns, but this one has a serious message. Yes, Daddy is watching his “waste,” ha ha, get it, but also, as his exaggeratedly emaciated frame makes clear, he suffers from serious body dysmorphia. That smile can’t mask the fact that, when he “watches” his own body, he sees nothing but garbage. Men can have eating disorders too, Big Daddy Keane! Getting help is not a show of weakness!

Six Chix, 10/6/14

Hey guys! Happy Monday from Six Chix! Did you know your mind is a writhing, densely packed mass of repulsive steel-grey worms, like something out of an H.R. Giger fever dream? Have a fun week!

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Lily has BLEATed her way to survival

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Apartment 3-G, 10/5/14

Oh my goodness, guys, I don’t want to jinx it, but I think … I think … this Apartment 3-G storyline might finally be over. Tommie has seen Jack mushing the side of his face up against Carol’s face, and according to the community’s strict decency codes, they must now marry or be forever ostracized as sexual degenerates. And, good news! Lily has proven her worth, so she won’t be killed and eaten! Looks like all’s well that’s ended well after weeks and weeks and weeks of literally nothing happening, oh God, so many weeks, so many nothings.

Marvin, 10/5/14

I … guess the “personal product commercials” they’re talking about are ads for erectile dysfunction pills? I’m basing this on the throwaway panel in which Jeff correctly regards the prospect of feeling like an awkward teenager again with horror. But overall this joke is extremely nonspecific, and I’d like to imagine the original was much more explicit and the editor sent it back to the artist saying “Sorry, you can’t really talk about boner pills in the comics section,” and then the artist replied “Dude, are you aware that this strip is 90 percent repulsive scat porn?” and the editor’s like “Yeah, the syndicate doesn’t care about that, it’s a messed up world and we’re all stuck in it, now vague this up some more.”

Momma, 10/5/14

Happy Fire Prevention Week, everybody! Momma is going to prevent fires wherever possible! Even in places specifically designed to accommodate fires! Is electricity a kind of fire? Some Orthodox rabbis think so, so sure, why not! End all fire everywhere, Momma! Bring down civilization! SEND US ALL BACK TO THE CAVES

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Soapy Tuesday

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Mark Trail, 9/23/14

Hey, remember Jacob Hickman, the anti-poaching activist who sat out this entire Mark Trail poaching storyline with a sprained ankle? He’s still talking, apparently! And introducing his entire team of fellow anti-poachers, who also didn’t help Mark out. How long are we supposed to sit still for this nonsense? “I’m a bit of an survivalist!” says the guy who never had to shove a flaming branch into a hippo’s maw or behead a snake or listen to a guy with a flattop talk about his relationship troubles and also demand to be called ‘Dirty’ even once.

Apartment 3-G, 9/23/14

So, we’re really, really going to do this? Just a week of Jack and Carol talking to each other, huh? OK, well, uh, let’s look on the bright side, Jack promised when he left that he was going to commune with the spirits of the dead, so at least we’ll get some creepy action out of WAIT WHAT DAMN IT JACK

Judge Parker, 9/23/14

WHEW, at least something is happening in Judge Parker, if by “something” you mean “the Spencer-Drivers are going to motor off onto the highway in their enormous, gas-guzzling, almost certainly non-road-legal motor home.” Seeing terrified poors driving their adorable li’l compact cars into ditches to avoid being smeared all over the interstate by the Road Queen ought to be good for a laugh or two! By the way, Sam, you bought that thing because you and Abbey abruptly decided you wanted one, for sex purposes, and then the first RV dealership you went to was about to go bankrupt and so sold you one dirt cheap.