Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Beetle Bailey, 9/25/11

As I’ve noted before, I’m totally down Beetle Bailey’s depiction of General Halftrack’s increasingly rapid descent into alcohol-fueled dementia. I approve because I enjoy jarring mismatches of tone and subject matter, and unlike some strips we could mention that get Very Serious with their Sad and Serious topics, Beetle Bailey seems to be under the impression that Halftrack’s angry and disoriented flailing is awesome fodder for wacky jokes. Which it isn’t but there’s something meta-funny about the strip’s complete inability to see that, you know? Anyway, things get extra hilarious today when the General destroys Army property and then discharges his sidearm in violation of any number of military regulations, before collapsing (it’s not clear whether that’s because the booze has overpowered him or he’s suffered a deadly rage-stroke).

Oh, also, I made this panel for you, to use as your Twitter avatar or put on your Tumblr where you curate zany contextless images or whatever:

Family Circus, 9/25/11

Awww, Jeffy’s learning life skills! Hateable life skills.

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Panels from Beetle Bailey, 9/18/11

I have to admit that I’m starting to warm up to the “General Halftrack is an angry and increasingly disoriented old drunk” theme that’s appearing with greater and greater frequency in Beetle Bailey. Today we see that the booze just fuels his paranoia. It’s easy to imagine that everybody hates you when you already hate yourself!

Six Chix, 9/18/11

Like her prudish mother, our protagonist finds the display of the human body shameful even in private, and so is quick to cover her boyfriend’s genitals with a well-placed word balloon.

Pluggers, 9/18/11

I thought I would feel great satisfaction when the befuddled, ignorant man-beasts of Pluggers started to die off, with their corpses displayed for our amusement. Instead, I’m only experiencing a certain shamed emptiness. Let this be a lesson to all of you who yearn for the death of your enemies!

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Beetle Bailey, 9/10/11

Oh, Mr. Fireman, I think General Halftrack knows very well how this show ends. It ends with him dying in the fire he set himself, drinking himself into a stupor as the smoke fills his lungs. He hates himself too much to go on living, just as he hates his wife too much to leave her the satisfaction of a nice house to live out her final years in. Don’t bother trying to rescue him; you’re just wasting your time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/10/11

Today’s fun fake punk rock slang: “We need to make this scene!” Use it whenever you feel compelled to put on an appearance at the hot party of your choice, won’t you?