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Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Friday is for ass

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Beetle Bailey, 10/14/22

There’s a lot to potentially get hung up on here — Otto has a date, Otto and his date are talking rather than using thought balloons, Otto’s date was an award-winning Broadway actress and he’s only learning this now, Otto’s date won a “Bony” that’s literally a bone — but the thing I’m choosing to get hung up on is that Otto’s date is named “Marley”. Is this a Marley and Me reference? Is Marley here supposed to be a golden retriever? Marley in Marley and Me was a male dog, by the way, just putting that out there.

Hi and Lois, 10/14/22

I was about to write something mean about this, but you know what? By having a couple teen musicians sitting around talking about how cool classic rock icons who all died as a result of substance abuse were, this is officially the most realistic depiction of teenagers in the entire history of Hi and Lois. My only note is that they’d probably throw Kurt Cobain in there too.

Curtis, 10/14/22

Here’s today’s Curtis, in which Curtis and Barry imagine what their mother would look like with a big ass. Enjoy your weekend!

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Friday quickies

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/30/22

“So, guys, it’s been a couple years and we’ve crunched the numbers and the new ‘Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky’ character hasn’t really captured the youth market like we’d hoped. We need to come up with some ways to make him appealing to Millen– er, Zoomers, I guess. C’mon, guys, no bad ideas. [long pause] How about pumpkin spice lattes? The kids today love pumpkin spice lattes, right?”

Beetle Bailey, 9/30/22

“And what’s the phone number for HUAC, so I can report her for Communism”

Mary Worth, 9/30/22

[Mary and Jeff spend the next six weeks quietly reading an anthology of the beloved comic strip For Better Or For Worse]

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Fighting for strip dominance

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Beetle Bailey, 9/17/22

God, I legitimately love this Beetle Bailey. Look at how absolutely miserable Halftrack is in that second panel! Golf is the thing he does for fun, on his day off, and he’s played miserably all day and it wasn’t fun at all and he hates it. Now he’s going to drink a mason jar full of whiskey and get blackout drunk. It’s perfect, no notes.

Crankshaft, 9/17/22

Oh hey, uh, why exactly is Crankshaft tagging along on this theater-buying expedition, exactly? Does he think they can’t do the strip without him? Did he get wind of Dennis getting pushed out of his own strip even though his name is on it? “I’m not going out like Barney Google,” he thinks to himself. “I’m gonna do a labored pun, or at least a smirk, in every one of these stupid strips. I’m the brand!”

Judge Parker, 9/17/22

Big news everybody! Remember Steve, the heroic double-amputee war vet who was Sam’s law partner for a while before running off with their legal secretary Gloria back in 2014? Well, he’s back, which is probably … exciting in some way? For the real Parker trufans? I don’t actually remember Steve being particularly interesting, but maybe he’ll shake things up in the current iteration of the strip, after he and Sam finish this elaborate social dance of mutual blame over the next six to eight weeks.