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Blondie, 6/27/12

It’s always the glasses-wearing nerdlinger in the office who’s the first to clue you in on how to use cutting-edge high-tech stuff like “Google search” for work.

Ziggy, 6/27/12

Ziggy’s parrot has taken the liberty of whiting out all the typos in the newspaper, with bird poop.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/27/12

A hitherto unexplored source of Funkyverse misery: local law enforcement is willing and able to dish out brutal beatings to anyone who even hints at DUI or illegal alcohol production.

Hi and Lois, 6/27/12

I originally read Trixie’s “I hope Dawg can wait that long” as a poignant reminder that our pets’ lifespans are shorter than ours, and that Dawg might not still be around by the time Trixie is old enough to take him for a walk. But then I realized it was just a joke about how Dawg is about to pee all over the rug.

Gil Thorp, 6/27/12

Man, with all the exciting teen pregnancy action, Gil Thorp neglected to tell us that the boy’s baseball team was on the verge of winning a championship! Don’t worry, though, they didn’t.

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Slylock Fox, 6/25/12

One of the great strengths of Slylock Fox is its ability to create little self-contained stories with only a single panel and a few sentences; still, I think today’s installment could have used a bit more fleshing out, particularly when it comes to how Benny Beaver (aka the “Toothy Tumbler,” a nickname he presumably only earned at this precise moment) came to just fall out of a plane without a parachute. More to the point, why is he taking a flight in tiny airplane with Max and Sly in the first place? We all know that Slylock’s world is a dictatorship where the power of police is not restrained by any kind of independent judiciary, so my first instinct was that Benny was a political dissident that Slylock was eliminating Argentine junta-style, but Slylock’s showy rescue obviously eliminates this possibility. Unless it’s elaborate theater, an attempt (one that Slylock will deliberately botch) to show that he tried his best to rescue the clumsy water-rodent, despite Benny’s known subversive attitudes towards the benevolent Slylockian state? Anyway, since Max appears to have been left alone in the airplane — an airplane with controls that he is far too tiny to operate properly — Slylock may be taking care of several of his rodent problems at once here.

Blondie, 6/25/12

I would find this clerk’s befuddlement more believable were it not for the fact that he’s working in some kind of vintage electronics store, what with the countertop ad for a flip-phone with an antenna and the clearly visible Apple Newton and handheld VHS cameras in the display case.

Archie, 6/25/12

I keep meaning to tell y’all: If you are interested in some of the really quite fetching clothing designs that have appeared in Archie Comics over the years, you owe it to yourself to check out the Betty and Veronica Fashions Tumblr. I bring it up now because if there were some kind of evil mirror-universe version of this Tumblr that focused on hideous, ill-drawn outfits from the mid-’90s reruns in the Archie newspaper strip, Reggie would totally have earned a place in it by wearing whatever the hell it is he has on here.

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Ziggy, 5/28/12

I guess Ziggy is supposed to be sitting on an old-fashioned wrought-iron chair, of the sort that you might find in an old-timey ice cream shops that will serve delicious, life-affirming sundaes. Still, I still prefer my initial take on this panel, which was that Ziggy has a tube attached to the back of his neck, pumping him full of who knows what. “…what a difference a sundae makes! Along with massive amounts of morphine! For a brief moment, I don’t yearn for the sweet release of death!”

Apartment 3-G, 5/28/12

When we last checked in with our fabulously wealthy lovelorn couple, Margo had advised Scott to stop pursuing Nina, letting her realize for herself that she really needed the man who browbeat her into having a baby and then smooched someone else. Naturally, Scott has interpreted this to mean that he should move into Nina’s father’s house, where Nina herself fled specifically to get away from him! Nina’s dad shows what being a good parent is all about by being totally into this idea. Since Nina can’t trust her father, her husband, or her erstwhile friend Margo whom her husband was canoodling with, it looks like she’ll have no choice but to flee into the arms of … Tommie? Ha ha, no, nobody could possibly be that desperate.

Blondie, 5/28/12

I’m pretty sure that Popeye is a “sailor” in the sense of being a crewman on a sea-going vessel, not in the sense of being an enlisted man in the U.S. Navy. And yet he dares to enjoy generosity meant for our armed forces, while real heroes like Sgt. Snorkel and Pvt. Bailey slink away in disgust. Why does Popeye hate America?