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Blondie, 10/18/25

God, I love how genuinely sad Dagwood looks in panel two. Sure, he loves his wife more than anything, but he also made some big promises and sweeping declarations to that sandwich when they were alone together. He’s sorry it had to hear this now, in its last moments before it slides unchewed down his gullet. He hopes it will still remember the good times they’ve had together, and the genuine affection in which he’s always held it.

Mary Worth, 10/18/25

I know that Mary and Olive billed this visit as a “mini-vacation” but I have to say “all I had time to do on my cross-country trip is briefly meet some dogs in a condo parking lot and then almost die in a hot air balloon mishap” is truly mini indeed. I guess it’s possible that Olive’s parents heard about the accident on the news, or, given that this is the year 2025, saw a clip of it in a “CRAZY HOT AIR BALLOON MISHAPS” YouTube compilation, and decided that was a little much even by their notoriously lax parenting standards, so they summoned her home early because “we think she has to start going to school or whatever soon.”

Pluggers, 10/18/25

I know pluggers are tired of being told they could learn a thing or two from young people today, but: hey, pluggers! The young people today aren’t answering their phones at all, at any time of day! You too could be that free!

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Shoe, 10/11/25

OK, the fact that this person she dated is named “Lance” pushes this over the edge and makes me genuinely wonder if he’s supposed to be an actual knight. And before you say “Ha ha, Josh, don’t be silly, it’s clearly just an extended metaphor,” remember that these people are all birds! We’re off the map of human reason here! There could be knight birds, you don’t know.

Herb and Jamaal, 10/11/25

Mortal! Do you wish to get the merest glimpse of what it would be like for your soul to be tortured forever, in hell? Well, check out Rev. Croom’s breath, or, depending on the implications you’re getting from this strip, farts.

Blondie, 10/11/25

Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, Dagwood, you have an eating disorder

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Crankshaft, 10/9/25

Look, characters in comic strips are, ultimately, not real people, and while you can chuckle at their antics, you ultimately shouldn’t feel bad for them. Especially not Ed Crankshaft, who’s a real asshole. Still, I can’t look at panel three here, where he has an extremely bleak facial expression as he’s compelled, apparently against his will, to make wordplay with “wiener” in it that doesn’t make sense at all but vaguely sounds like he’s referring to masturbation, and not feel a frisson of sympathy. He doesn’t want this! Nobody wants this!

Blondie, 10/9/25

You all know that I depend on Blondie, whose characters are spiritually boomers even if they’re younger in age as drawn, to find out what old people are doing on the computer. It’s not gambling, I guess! They’re still doing that the old fashioned way, by handing over wads of cash to some guy in their office building. They’re leaving losing life-damaging sums of cash on absurd parlays via an app to the young people, and, you know what, good for them.