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Beetle Bailey, 11/17/21

Miss Buxley’s face isn’t what you would call “expressive” — it’s more what I would call “blowup sex doll” — but given that she’s juggling multiple devices to fulfill her work duties while her boss, who has given her all these duties, waxes nostalgic about the good old days, I do think her expression is successfully conveying the correct sentiment in panel two, which is “MURDER MUDER MURDER”.

Dick Tracy, 11/17/21

Given that the Apparatus is led by a guy who wears a full-body gimp suit just to hang around the office and staffed by people like Doubleup, a dude with Dagwood Bumstead hair who carries a bullwhip around at all times, it’s extremely hilarious to me that they just have a regular-ass receptionist named “Joanne” out at the front desk fielding calls. I assume she sort of knows she’s taking messages about murders and such but in the grand scheme of things she’s not paid enough to care about it, you know?

Pluggers, 11/17/21

The periods at the end of the sentences here really make this one grim. “Oh hey,” the dog-man says, without emotion. “A wheat penny from 1955. Huh.” There’s no joy or excitement in this realization. He’s not even sure why he checks anymore, really. Finding a wheat penny is just another thing that happens to him, from a long list of things that have happened to him, a list that is rapidly accelerating towards its conclusion.

Blondie, 11/17/21

Sorry, I don’t buy this “eBay” business at all. We all know Elmo is a crypto guy, and he would absolutely be trying to sell Dagwood an NFT of his little bird, which would be a much more lucrative scam.

Crankshaft, 11/17/21

“I mean, it would look terrible, but whatever! It’s your video! You asked me for help, do you what you want, see if I care.”

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Pluggers, 11/6/21

Man-animals are OK, but pluggers often prefer the company of full-animals, who provide a comforting reminder of the ways things used to be, before they were transformed into hideous abominations against God and nature by forbidden science.

Family Circus, 11/6/21

Hello, sensible comics readers! Have you noticed that the “kids today” sometimes wear their baseball hats the wrong way around? Well, they certainly aren’t going to be for much longer, once they hear that Jeffy’s doing it too.

Blondie, 11/6/21

The fact that Dagwood is wearing his pajamas in the first couple of panels means that this is probably a sex dream, YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYBODY, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND

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Mary Worth, 10/21/21

You ever get a terrifying moment of clarity and insight into a situation that you wish you really knew no details about whatsoever? That was me, reading today’s Mary Worth, realizing that Wilbur is absolutely planning to follow up his first long, languorous tongue-kiss with Carol by shyly saying “See, we do both love ‘Frenchies,’ don’t we?” Just typing this makes me die inside, but I cannot expel this knowledge from my mind! Anyway, I want everyone to note that Carol looks like she’s about to shatter that glass in her hand in panel two.

Mark Trail, 10/21/21

Oh look, it’s our first corporate mastermind villain in nu-look Mark Trail! And he’s wearing a [squints] tuxedo? Lounging around his cliffside mansion/lair? Like you do? Presumably he’s taken off the jacket to better enjoy the cliffside breezes? I do enjoy the fact that his assistant must stay 10 feet away from him at all times, showing him important photos and documents on an iPad with its font size pumped all the way up so he can read it.

Blondie, 10/21/21

Big news, everyone! The team behind the longtime syndicated newspaper strip Blondie has finally learned about QR codes! Tune in here for further developments, like whether or not they ever figure out they’re called “QR codes.”