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Crock, 3/16/23

A fun fact is that this is literally how World War I started — or, I guess, is literally why World War I couldn’t be stopped after it started even though everyone kind of knew it was a bad idea.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/23

Ha ha, Ida Noe, the creepy talking doll, seems to know a thing or two about shaking a dead person’s hand! You can cover her mouth all you want, but ultimately you cannot stop her.

Judge Parker, 3/16/23

RANDY PARKER! He’s tanned, rested, and ready for this assignment. Like, really tanned. Leathery. He spent the entire period when he was off the bench in a high-powered tanning booth. Why did he do this to himself. Is he even human anymore, under all that tan???

Pluggers, 3/16/23

Ha ha, were you planning on spending the rest of your day not thinking about your tongue and how old it is? Well, too bad! And here you thought the only body horror Pluggers delivered was its parade of freakish man-animal hybrids.

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Crock, 3/4/23

Hmm, looks like Maggot has bailed on his marital counseling session and now it’s just Grossie pouring her heart out to some dude in a cave. Anyway, do you think when you’re writing a strip like today’s, you pause a moment and think “Wow, I really named a guy ‘Maggot,’ which is also a thing that in some cultures people actually eat, sometimes dipped in chocolate?” Or are you just very, very invested at this point in the idea that “Maggot” is literally a name that a person could have?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/23

Speaking of which, to what extent do the writers of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith think of themselves as writing an ongoing satire of poor people living in Appalachia and/or the Ozarks? Or have they mostly forgotten it and are just working with long-memorized character designs and orthographic conventions? Because in the former case today’s strip has the vibe of “Ha ha, I’m really sticking it to these hillbilly moochers” whereas in the latter case it seems like the much gentler and frankly accurate “Ha ha, people want government services but don’t want to pay the taxes that fund them, amiright people????”

Six Chix, 3/4/23

“I also carry them around with me, which forced me to eventually stop reading altogether. Books are very heavy!”

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Mary Worth, 3/1/23

Uh oh! Looks like Estelle is running into the dark side of dating a hot, animal-saving, ivory-tinkling hunk like Dr. Ed: he has other obligations, like to the animals he has to save, or the ivories he has to tinkle, or whatever. Hey, Estelle, you know who won’t stand you up on a date? Wilbur! He’ll always be there for you, even if you don’t want him to be! Sorry, those are your only two choices, I guess!

Crock, 3/1/23

Every classic comic strip needs to have a longtime married couple who hates each other to remind readers that heterosexual monogamy is a crushing prison, and in Crock that couple is Grossie and Maggot. Usually they just hate each other in a “fun” way, like with quips and such, but their facial expressions in today’s panel let us know that every moment of their existence, in which they’re forced to remain together forever in a strip that will keep going out in reruns indefinitely, is an agonizing one.

Shoe, 3/1/23

Every once in a while I need to remind you, my faithful readers, about the ways in which I suffer for your entertainment and my craft, so I’m going to tell you that my very first instinct upon reading today’s Shoe was to do some online research on whether cloacas have sphincters that allow birds to hold in their poops or if they just have to let it go as soon as it’s ready. Anyway, the material I found was very gross, and the answer is that they can hold it in but not for anywhere near as long as mammals without risking injury so they generally don’t, so yes, Shoe is being literal here, the staff of the Treetops Tribune just let it rip around the office wherever and whenever they need to.