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Rhymes With Orange, 11/10/24

Hey, everybody. Have you ever wondered if demons, the dark angels who have turned their back on God and now live in Hell, where they have the job of inflicting awful tortures on the damned for all eternity, have to go to school, like orindary children? Well, apparently they do. I’m just as surprised as you, to be honest. Doesn’t seem like it’d be up their alley in my opinion. They really strike me as being more into the cursing their Creator and inflicting inhuman suffering on his creations kind of thing rather than learning new information and skills in a supportive environment.

Dennis the Menace, 11/10/24

“Based on the fact that he’s walking towards Mr. Wilson’s house, I bet he’s walking towards Mr. Wilson’s house.” Do you even hear yourself, Henry? Do you and your wife truly have nothing better to talk about than this? That’s sad, man.

Crock, 11/10/24

Every once in a while I like to play the game of “What Year’s Topical Issue Is Today’s Crock Rerun About?” This one clearly is about “health care reform,” obviously. But, that doesn’t really narrow it down: was it from 2010? 1993? 1974? 1945? Could be any of them! This strip’s been around forever!

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Mary Worth, 11/1/24

Aww, who came to Dr. Ed and Estelle’s last-minute, let’s-make-it-legal-before-we-have-another-dumb-fight wedding? Well, from right, we have: Saul and Eve (intense dog owners, probably repeat customers at Dr. Ed’s clinic due to obsessive worrying over their pets’ health), Dr. Ed’s former lover Shiela, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (officiant), Mary, some guy (maybe supposed to be Dr. Jeff except his temples aren’t grey and also his nose and chin look wrong???), and, of course, Wilbur, making his second appearance at an ex’s wedding in as many years. It’s good that this is happening to him! I think he should continue to suffer further humiliation until he’s learned his lesson (he never will). Maybe he’ll get an invite from Fabiana when she finally marries her cousin, dare to dream!

Crock, 11/1/24

I dunno, maybe I’m reading too much into a kind of nothing joke, but I feel like at least a little of the implication here is that the wife is going to be eating this dinner too, right? “Don’t eat the dinner, honey … the dinner is me … the dinner is me” (she’ll never hear it because nobody listens to their voice mail anymore, haha kids today am I right)

Beetle Bailey, 11/1/24

“Do the creators of Beetle Bailey know what ‘puppy play’ is?” is the sort of question that I will never, ever want to actually learn the answer to but also will never, ever be able to stop thinking about.

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Crock, 10/25/24

Of all the characters in the comics, few are subject to as much indignity as Crock’s Grossie. I mean, forgetting the fact that she’s named “Grosse” and married to a guy named “Maggot,” we must also keep in mind that she’s a colonial subject, and while she’s usually depicted as fairly fiesty and independent, she is also, like her nation, under the heel of the French and must obey their whims. Not sure what’s worse for her here: that she had to participate in the operation of this sham restaurant that’s been set up as part of an elaborate bit about what a bad cook she is, or that she’s probably going to be killed by her own countrymen when they storm the fort, just because she’s in the way.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/25/24

Hey, remember when Wanda first showed up in this strip, as a waitress who was flirting with Mud Mountain Murphy, but then Mud turned out to be kind of an asshole who pretended to shit his pants on stage, so she hooked up with Truck instead, because he was her only other option? Well, now that Mud’s been brainwashed by a con artist, who accidentally made him a better person in the process, Wanda seems eager to get Mud back into her and Truck’s lives. What I’m saying is, I look forward to discovering if Rex Morgan, M.D., can make polyamory boring.