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Dennis the Menace, 10/20/15

The angry look Mr. Wilson is flashing Mrs. Wilson here ought to send a chill down anyone’s spine. One assumes that, like their namesake characters in Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, the frustrated, childless George and Martha have an imaginary son that they discuss only with each other as part of their cruel banter, and now Dennis is getting too close to the truth. Unless … Dennis is their imaginary son? Will he wink out of existence, once he becomes self-aware?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/20/15

Hey, remember the interminable storyline where Holly became a comics nerd so she could put together a complete Starbucks Jones collection together for her son Cory, who was off in Afghanistan, and this helped her feel close to him when he was far away and in grave danger? In related news, remember how Cory’s main deal before the time-jump was that he was an insufferable, ungrateful little shit, and it was never quite clear whether or not military life had cured him of it?

Gasoline Alley, 10/20/15

Hey, remember beloved comics characters Mutt and Jeff from days of yore? Well, Mutt’s the only one left. Jeff’s dead now.

Heathcliff, 10/20/15

Haha, wouldn’t it be funny if James Bond didn’t wear pants, and drank water out of the toilet?

Six Chix, 10/20/15

LOL LADIES ALWAYS EXPECTING YOU TO INTERACT WITH ’EM WHADDYA GONNA DO AMIRGHT FELLAS

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Crock, 9/26/15

Why did I recoil in disgust from Tuesday’s pee-soaked Beetle Bailey and yet genuinely chuckle at today’s camel-poop-centric Crock? I dunno, man, probably I’m just fickle, but I think it has a little to do with the attitudes of the two comic creatures. Otto looked sadistically thrilled at the prospect of pissing all over some innocent flowers; Quench the camel, meanwhile, just looks kind of pleased with himself for his quick thinking. “Yeah, you can kill me, bandit-man, but at least I gave back as good as I got, via pooping. That’s some solid wordplay-inspired defecation work on my part, if I do say so myself.”

(Side note: I remembered Quench’s name without having to look it up! I’m a sad, sad man who’s wasted his life.)

Funky Winkerbean, 9/26/15

Oh, God, this tape is going to be full of praise for anyone who managed to overcome her natural emotional defense mechanisms and fall in love with Les. I wish it were about sex stuff now!

Dennis the Menace, 9/26/15

All the neighborhood parents abruptly abandoned their homes and children several weeks ago, and these cookies are the last food they have left. Believe me, there’s nothing else! They’ve looked.

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Archie, 9/25/15

Archie’s whole shtick is of course to present a false and corrosive nostalgia for a bygone era that downplays any and all negative aspects of generic mid-20th century high school life, but it’s rare to see the strip get self-aware like this. Principal Weatherbee eats the lunch created in an industrial kitchen from mass-produced staple ingredients, which is the only way to feed a school full of children and staff efficiently and within the shrinking budget allotted. “It’s not like my mon used to make!” Weatherbee declares, failing to mention that for his mother preparing food for even a small family took hours and hours every week.

Dennis the Menace, 9/25/15

You know, I’d like to think that my blog is proof that cultural criticism can effect social change. Certainly Dennis has seen a real menacing uptick lately, and I’m going to take the credit and assume this is a reaction to my years-long campaign to point out how non-menacing he’s been. “Wow, Mom, you kissed me and I felt nothing. No healing, no comfort, nothing.” Pretty sure things children say to their parents don’t get more menacing than that.

Herb and Jamaal, 9/25/15

Moses also died before the people he led arrived at their destination! What I’m trying to say this could be the most emotionally affecting Herb and Jamaal storyline yet, after which they’re going to have to change the name of the strip.