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Beetle Bailey, 11/10/23

I find the “this” in “this army,” intriguing, as it implies that if Beetle doesn’t get what he wants out of the U.S. Army, he might see what some of the other armies have to offer. Like North Korea, say, they’re always looking for new people, right? Or maybe ISIS? Is ISIS still recruiting? Beetle doesn’t follow the news much.

Dennis the Menace, 11/10/23

In other news, Martha Wilson is only late in life realizing that she never loved her husband. This isn’t “menacing” so much as it is “depressing,” thought it’s definitely not what you’d call “surprising.”

Hi and Lois, 11/10/23

Wh … why are you making direct eye contact with me, Chip Flagston? You’re not training me! You’re not training me at all! I demand that you let your hair fall back in front of your eyes at once!

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Barney Google and Snuffy, 11/9/23

OK, whew, good news everybody, Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky doesn’t need to participate in market economics in order to survive, he can still just happily munch on grass wherever! Now I’m moving onto my next Snuffy Smith world-building gripe, which is that I refuse to believe that Jughaid knows what “salad dressing” is.

Dennis the Menace, 11/9/23

Dennis, meanwhile, is still too naive to understand that money, or its increasingly abstract representations, can be exchanged for goods and services, much to his (oddly proportioned today, am I right? what’s going on here) grandfather’s discomfort. I guess refusing to acknowledge that a chain of labor relations go into the production and delivery of your toys and instead just expecting and indeed insisting that they manifest themselves for you is in fact fairly menacing.

Beetle Bailey, 11/9/23

The fact that someone over at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC looked up the official La-Z-Boy logo and did a passable job of rendering it on Beetle’s helmet ironically makes this one of the least lazy Beetle Bailey strips of the last decade.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/23

Not much to say about the content of today’s strip, but, with all apologies to “cellar door,” I don’t think there’s a more beautiful phrase in the English language than “Meanwhile, the Harwoods have also watched the infomercial.”

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Beetle Bailey, 10/31/23

Maybe I’m overly into the holiday spirit today but I genuinely enjoy the pathos of today’s strip. General Halftrack is so mad, and well might he be! He put a lot of effort into his vampire costume and these two did just the absolute minimum necessary! Now he looks like a tryhard, like the women and that goober Zero! Even Lt. Fuzz is making him seem like a chump.

[UPDATE: haha yes this is Killer, not Gen. Halftrack, for some reason I was visualizing an elaborate mustache-dyeing scenario that is quite honestly beyond the General’s ability to focus for short-term gain]

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/23

I’ve seen zero evidence that the Wilsons are into health food at all, and in fact Mrs. Wilson is constantly plying Dennis with cookies and such whenever he stops by unannounced, so I assume their trick-or-treat game is solid. You can just tell Joey that Mr. Wilson hates you, Dennis, I’m sure he’s got it mostly figured out already.

Gil Thorp, 10/31/23

LAST WEEK’S GIL THORP STORYLINE: The older Thorp kid has an abortion, a normal thing that happens all the time in real life, whole family is supportive, minimum of drama, not worth covering on this blog, of most interest because in a post-Dobbs world it helps us narrow down what state Milford is in

THIS WEEK’S GIL THORP STORYLINE: Gil is a vampire, this lady is offering herself up to him to have her blood erotically drained, I’m crying and throwing up and calling my Congressman to demand a government investigation into this filth

Hi and Lois, 10/31/23

Speaking of filth, I can believe these TWIN SIBLINGS went out dressed as a ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED COUPLE from a popular video game. I guess they’re “too young to know better,” but honestly, their parents should be guiding them away from terrible mistakes like this.