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Blondie, 10/30/23

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about those haunted houses you can go to at amusement parks and such for Halloween, and she drew a distinction that really stuck with me: some stuff you encounter at these things, like decor with skulls and bats and other goth business, is spooky, and other stuff, like people jumping out of the dark and grabbing you, is scary, and not everyone is into both! Anyway, what Blondie experienced — a couple weird cosplayers coming up with a series of ever-dumber Halloween puns — is spooky, whereas Dagwood’s day, in which he once again had to weigh his emotional health against his family’s finances when dealing with his abusive boss, is scary. Here to help!

Crock, 10/30/23

Big news! After 48 years of doing a dumb comics riff on P. C. Wren’s 1924 novel Beaut Geste, as of today Crock will start doing a dumb comics riff on Albert Camus’s 1947 novel The Plague.

Dennis the Menace, 10/30/23

Is it just me or does the perspective in this panel make Dennis look like he’s about seven feet tall, but with the bodily proportions of a child, making him a truly nightmarish figure? Anyway, if I could change one thing about him, it’d be that. I’d like him to be a normal size again.

Mary Worth, 10/30/23

“Ugh, it used to be we would have sex, but now it turns out that people you have sex with sometimes have opinions? That are different from yours??? What the heck!”

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Six Chix, 10/25/23

After yesterday’s debacle, I’m pleased to see today’s Six Chix, in which a corporate dog discusses his frustrations with measured dignity. There’s a fire hydrant in the foreground, and since this is a comic about dogs, I think we’re supposed to assume one of them will piss on it eventually. But they’re not rubbing our faces in it and I’m sure we can agree that when they do get around to it, they’ll do it in a normal and relatively wholesome fashion.

Dennis the Menace, 10/25/23

Hey, Dennis, since we’re talking body parts, where’s your neck? Pretty sure we should be able to see at least some of it from this angle, but instead it kind of looks like your head’s just floating an inch or so above your shoulders. Just to keep with the counting theme, you have zero necks, which is fewer necks than you should have!

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Dick Tracy, 10/18/23

Oh no! Why would you build a huge wing on the back of your mansion that has an entirely glass ceiling? Why, you’re just asking for someone to break through it and steal all your rare books in a daring heist! I swear, people don’t do any basic defensibility research before engaging in massive building projects anymore.

Beetle Bailey, 10/18/23

What with all the changes in social mores and tolerance over the past 30 to 50 years or so, you, the typical Beetle Bailey reader, are probably concerned: is it possible that Otto, the famous army dog, is a homosexual? Well, worry no more! He’s as straight as they come, and is attracted to human women, which is, uh, fine? We’ll say it’s fine.

Shoe, 10/18/23

The Perfesser is all gakked out on uppers and is now begging his connection for a little something to mellow him out. Seems a little edgy for a talking bird comic but what do I know!

Dennis the Menace, 10/18/23

“But she’s really worked hard to improve for this performance, and you can tell the audience is responding to it! I’m proud of her!”