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Blondie, 8/3/23

It’s a little unsettling that Blondie just produces this elaborate sandwich tray out of nowhere between the second and third panels. I’m imagining her humming softly to herself as she made it over the course of the quiet morning before these ladies showed up, thinking, with increasing anticipation, about her husband “going away” as football season got into swing. Oh, sure, he’d be there, physically, for the most part. But she’d sure have to deal with him a lot less. “How nice! Where are they going?” she asks, innocently, hoping to have found others in the same predicament.

Dennis the Menace, 8/3/23

Sure, this seems pretty treacly at first glance, but I’m going to go ahead and ID as at least mildly menacing a scenario where a couple of unaccompanied children and an unleashed dog are wandering around the countryside, pulling a wagon with a makeshift weapon in it.

Family Circus, 8/3/23

BILLY KEANE: FAIR-WEATHER PATRIOT

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Crock, 7/27/23

The thing about ladies’ butts is that the societal consensus on their optimal size has waxed and waned over the years: some decades have extolled the skinny, while in other eras big and round has been the way to go. This is a particular dilemma in the universe of Crock. When exactly was this strip published? When is any of the action supposed to be taking place? I don’t know and my guess is that the characters don’t either, so “compared to what?” is a legitimate question.

Judge Parker, 7/27/23

You and I both knew in our heart of hearts that the newspaper funny pages were never going to show a guy getting torn to pieces by a bear, not even if we’ve already established that guy as a child kidnapper, so we should appreciate what we do get today, which is seeing his screams of agony coming in from just off-panel. Then, to chill us out a bit, we smash cut to Sophie and Marie watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, I’m pretty sure, but Sophie’s not even paying attention because she’s looking at her phone. Kids today! With their phones and getting kidnapped by guys who get killed by bears and such!

The Lockhorns, 7/27/23

A thing I love about The Lockhorns is that in most panel, no matter what the “joke” is, one or both of the title characters looks like they want to die. Like this is just a dumb and overdone bit of wordplay on “continental,” they didn’t need to go so hard, but Leroy is looking at those pancakes like he’s contemplating whether he can deliberately choke himself to death on them, and I respect that artistic choice so much.

Dennis the Menace, 7/27/23

It’s true: Mr. Wilson spent much of his tween years as a child soldier in the bloody spasms of civil conflict that wracked the Congo after Belgium pulled its colonial administration out in 1960. The experience has left him with terrible emotional scars that he cannot bring himself to talk about. His outfit today is unrelated.

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Crock, 7/25/23

Say what you will about the newspaper comic strips, but each one is a rich world filled with details that even dedicated daily readers might go for years without discovering. For instance, did you know that Quench, the beloved (?) camel character in Crock, got his name because his thirst for sweet, soul-numbing alcohol can never be “quenched”?

Marvin, 7/25/23

How many times has this happened to you: You’re in the bathroom at a friend’s house, reading a book of Weird Trivia they keep on the back of the toilet, and you stumble upon a factoid and think “Ha, I can imagine how the syndicated newspaper comic strip character Marvin would react to this!” Well, if you’re on the Marvin creative team, you can easily use that little epiphany to meet your daily joke quota. (This is honestly the best case scenario for a Marvin strip inspired by time spent in a bathroom.)

Family Circus, 7/25/23

Loving everyone’s facial expressions here as they try, each in their own way, to deal with Jeffy’s bullshit. Look at Dolly, she’s having to go into some sort of centered deep breathing wellness exercise in order to not have a meltdown at him.

Dennis the Menace, 7/25/23

Dennis the Menace is obviously the much more menacing “child says darndest thing at a restaurant” panel today, in the sense that he seems to be going out of his way to solicit a wellness check from CPS.

Hi and Lois, 7/25/23

I find Hi’s expression in the second panel extremely wholesome here. He didn’t think it was possible for him to respect the troops any more — but thanks to his garbage man, he’s found a way!