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Mary Worth, 11/20/23

I regret to inform you that Keith and Kitty’s date redo went really well, and now she’s accepted Keith’s invite to help him sensually relive his days as a Horse Cop and hers as a Horse Girl. Our last hope is that the Santa Royale Stables remain just as romantically cursed as they were back in 2007 when Jeff’s son Dr. Drew was on the receiving end of an epic love triangle slapdown from Dawn that echoed down through the ages and still haunts the place.

Six Chix, 11/20/23

Normally I’d interpret this as a human saying something rude about the cows in human language and a cow saying something similarly rude about the human in cow language, but the fact that the woman on the right turns her head to face the cows between panels seems to indicate to me that maybe the cows are speaking English aloud? I don’t think I’d react to talking cow with a sly little smile — more a series of unintelligible screams, to be honest — but I don’t know what other people do.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/23

I like the way Henry seems to be holding Alice back a bit. “No, no, let’s see where he goes with this,” he’s saying. “I’ve honestly wondered this myself.”

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Beetle Bailey, 11/10/23

I find the “this” in “this army,” intriguing, as it implies that if Beetle doesn’t get what he wants out of the U.S. Army, he might see what some of the other armies have to offer. Like North Korea, say, they’re always looking for new people, right? Or maybe ISIS? Is ISIS still recruiting? Beetle doesn’t follow the news much.

Dennis the Menace, 11/10/23

In other news, Martha Wilson is only late in life realizing that she never loved her husband. This isn’t “menacing” so much as it is “depressing,” thought it’s definitely not what you’d call “surprising.”

Hi and Lois, 11/10/23

Wh … why are you making direct eye contact with me, Chip Flagston? You’re not training me! You’re not training me at all! I demand that you let your hair fall back in front of your eyes at once!

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Barney Google and Snuffy, 11/9/23

OK, whew, good news everybody, Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky doesn’t need to participate in market economics in order to survive, he can still just happily munch on grass wherever! Now I’m moving onto my next Snuffy Smith world-building gripe, which is that I refuse to believe that Jughaid knows what “salad dressing” is.

Dennis the Menace, 11/9/23

Dennis, meanwhile, is still too naive to understand that money, or its increasingly abstract representations, can be exchanged for goods and services, much to his (oddly proportioned today, am I right? what’s going on here) grandfather’s discomfort. I guess refusing to acknowledge that a chain of labor relations go into the production and delivery of your toys and instead just expecting and indeed insisting that they manifest themselves for you is in fact fairly menacing.

Beetle Bailey, 11/9/23

The fact that someone over at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC looked up the official La-Z-Boy logo and did a passable job of rendering it on Beetle’s helmet ironically makes this one of the least lazy Beetle Bailey strips of the last decade.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/23

Not much to say about the content of today’s strip, but, with all apologies to “cellar door,” I don’t think there’s a more beautiful phrase in the English language than “Meanwhile, the Harwoods have also watched the infomercial.”