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Mary Worth, 5/8/23

Welp, looks like Ed and Estelle are happy and Ed’s workplace problems are squared away, and Wilbur is emotionally processing his heartbreak the best he can (i.e., not particularly well), so it’s time for a new adventure … a nautical adventure, for Jeff and Mary. What surprise does Dr. Jeff have for his longtime beau? Is this going to be yet another failed marriage proposal? Or is he going to take Mary to the private island he recently acquired, where he can hunt men for sport without meddling Big Government getting in his way?

Gil Thorp, 5/8/23

Meanwhile, Gil is bringing his mother to see one of the little games he coaches, so she can die in the pleasant afternoon air, knowing her son could’ve been a doctor or lawyer or something but instead decided to do this, and do it pretty half-assed.

Dick Tracy, 5/8/23

It feels on-brand for Dick Tracy that this guy is threatening to set off an explosive device in a crowded exhibition hall and all the talk is about the potential damage to a rare World War II-era Monopoly game. “No! No! Our blood and viscera will be smeared all over these collectables! Their condition will have to be downgraded to ‘Fair’ and their resale value will plummet!”

Pluggers, 5/8/23

On January 12, 2007, the nationally syndicated newspaper panel Pluggers declared that the front of a refrigerator, covered with various notes and such held up by magnets, was “a plugger’s MySpace.” Today, MySpace is long gone, but Pluggers? It’s still going strong — plugging away, if you will, bringing joy to newspaper readers everywhere. What I’m trying to say is that TikTok is on notice.

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Dustin, 5/1/23

A truly incredible thing to keep in mind about Dustin is that it’s a comic that debuted in January 2010, when, in the aftermath of the global financial crisis, unemployment was higher than it had been at any time since the Great Depression, and its whole deal was that college grads who had to move home because they couldn’t find jobs were just lazy, entitled brats whose problems were entirely a product of their bad character. It’s really only today, with joblessness at historic lows, that the times have caught up with the strip’s premise, although now the economic big brains are loudly proclaiming that we need more unemployment in order to fight inflation, so maybe Dustin needs to start arguing that actually, by being unemployable, he’s helping in macroeconomic terms.

Hi and Lois, 5/1/23

In other generational warfare news, Hi is a white-collar suburban dad in a legacy comic strip so he feels like he should be a Boomer, but based on the age of his kids he’s probably in his mid-to-late 40s, and, you know what, usually us Gen Xers are just glad to be noticed, but I’m sorry, I will not sit here and be lectured to by Chip fucking Flagston of all people.

The Lockhorns, 5/1/23

You ever have an older relative that you remember always “taking a nap on the couch” during family functions when you were a kid, and you only realized later probably hated big gatherings in their house and self-medicated by getting drunk? Well, in unrelated news, Leroy has “run out of gas” during Loretta’s attempt to share a pleasant afternoon with him.

Dick Tracy, 5/1/23

This sounds like a great way for the Red Cross to destroy its role as a neutral aid organization and ensure that no government ever gave them access to POWs ever again! On the other hand, do we know for sure they didn’t do this for Axis POWs too? Maybe they were just opposed to the idea of holding prisoners of war in general.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/1/23

“This is Rex Morgan, M.D., for pete’s sake! Do you realize that something interesting briefly happened? Unacceptable!”

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Shoe, 4/29/23

Sure, we make fun of legacy strips where the punchline is “Ha ha, technology, amiright?” a lot, but they do serve a valuable purpose, in that they show us what the artists think young people look like. In the case of the Shoe team, I guess it’s … beatniks? Kids today, playing the bongos and going to poetry readings and always texting on their damn phones?

Dick Tracy and Hi and Lois, 4/29/23

Shout out to these two strips for showing us the whole spectrum of male homosociality, from the horny (“Good lord, I’d like to bang that chick, but failing that I’d like to purchase the product she’s advertising”) to the wholesome (“We’re just whackin’ balls back and forth over the fence! It’s Saturday and the weather’s great, and we’re a little drunk”).

Gil Thorp, 4/29/23

No we didn’t see it because you didn’t draw it, do you not know how comics work