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Crock, 12/16/23

The infancy story in the Gospel of Matthew is the one that mentions the Magi, and while it specifies three different gifts they brought to the baby Jesus (gold, frankincense, and myrrh), it doesn’t actually say how many people brought that stuff, and while there are three kings included in most nativity scenes, there’s nothing canonical about that number. So, who’s the smart guy now, eh, Seymour?

Family Circus, 12/16/23

Jeffy, what are you wearing? Did you come to be dumb and belligerent at this mall Santa right after doing a standup set at Caroline’s in 1988?

Hi and Lois, 12/16/23

I gotta say that I really appreciate the facial expressions and body language on Dot and Ditto here. They’re devastated! Christmas is ruined!

Mary Worth, 12/16/23

Sonia and Brad love nothing more than fighting the system, a system that includes cattle ranching and taking your hat off indoors. Keith, on other hand, loves the system, and would never violate any aspect of it, especially America’s precious trademark laws, which keep our beloved franchised fast-food restaurants safe from repetitional harm.

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Pluggers, 11/17/23

Look, I’ve said a lot of pretty mean things about Pluggers over the years, so let me say something nice: this is a very cute drawing a cat-man opening his mouth wide to eat a cinnamon bun. It’s cute and I enjoy it! Let’s put the implied bodily self-loathing aside for the moment and just enjoy this cartoon. Ha ha, he’s taking a big bite!

Family Circus, 11/17/23

If you squint, you can see that the front page of the Family Times, the fake newspaper these little twerps have been working on all week, has the banner headline “HANG UP YOUR CLOTHES OR NO DESERT!” I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that the Keane Kids have decided to, on their own initiative, print a propaganda rag dedicated to their own repression, but it still fills me with a profound sense of disgust.

Gasoline Alley 11/17/23

The civic leaders of Charlotte, North Carolina, heard that Rufus and Joel were approaching and quickly built a Potemkin skyline to divert the irritating rustics as far from the good citizenry as possible.

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Mary Worth, 11/5/23

Wow, I guess all it takes is a little rejection from from his hitherto unknown daughter and long-ago ex girlfriend to get Keith to start spilling his guts to Mary, even though mere days ago he deemed her a busybody and tried his hardest to avoid her. Now, Mary is a lady who has repeatedly told women that they should work harder to maintain a relationship with Wilbur Weston, so I guess her advice to Keith to keep fighting isn’t surprising. I do question her tactics here, though. She doesn’t know anything about Keith’s service record. What if in one battle, after being pushed back by enemy forces, his unit had advanced again, only to be repulsed due to a lack of sufficient air support, with all his comrades in arms dying and leaving him with emotional wounds that will never heal? Or what if, despite the immediate success of the individual missions he participated in, Keith came to view the larger conflict as a misguided one, a waste of lives and ammunition for an unworthy cause? Why, he might not work his hardest to force his way into fatherhood at all, and that’s wholly unacceptable!

Hagar the Horrible, 11/5/23

Speaking of spilling your guts, I know the phrase is derived from vomiting, but I always think it has the implied hint of disembowelment, and that’s definitely where my mind would go if I were drawing a comic strip that hinges on the phrase where a guy is about to get brutalized by a bunch of axe-wielding Vikings.

Family Circus, 11/5/23

“As for the likeness of its faces, it had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and it had the face of an ox on the left side; and it also had the face of an eagle. And its appearance and its work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel. As for its rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and its rings were full of eyes round about them. It really freaked me out, can I sleep with you tonight?”