Post Content

Your COTW coming soon, but first: ITEMS! First up we have this stunning cache of Gil Thorp books discovered by faithful reader knittaplease at her local used bookstore:

I am so delighted that one of these volumes is entitled simply Sheesh! that I feel churlish in expressing my wonder that at least three volumes could be filled with Gil Thorp material deemed to qualify as “best.”

Also! I got this charming note from faithful reader Allison!

I thought you might like this Family Circus stuff I found. It’s a book and tape set with the kids singing in English and in French about going to get groceries and flying in the sky with birds. I used to listen to this tape and play my Family Circus computer game all the time when I was a kid but it’s funny how they’re even more entertaining as an adult. The game gave you a tour of their house and explained how washing machines and electronics work, probably very useful for anyone trying to break into the compound.

The Keanes teaching you a foreign, non-English language? Quelle horreur! Allison sent several scans from the book; this one, from a birthday party, is my favorite, because, as she put it, “The parents’ looks of despair are the best.”

And, finally: would you like to buy Ziggy’s munch box? Of course you would! (Thanks to faithful reader Aging Hipster for the tip.)

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I didn’t notice Delilah’s all-purple outfit in the prior strip. I wonder if she thinks that’s what ‘matching’ means.” –Carly

And your runners-up! A ton of them this week, but Charley sure seemed to solicit some comedy gold.

“Maybe Delilah will blindly stumble into Charley’s bathroom and become ever more horrified when she’s told what the toilet is for and how it works: ‘What, in the HOUSE? EWW!'” –Ed Dravecky

“So Delilah is horrified at the sight of a nude woman, and horrified at the notion of not having children. She does know where babies come from, doesn’t she?” –Flummoxicated

“Secret twist revealed tomorrow: Del has no idea what he means.” –Dragon of Life

MT: “Mark: ‘He’s no good to them dead.’ Sue: ‘So why didn’t they kill you? Wouldn’t that have solved the whole problem?’ Mark: ‘I … uh …’ *punch!*” –Hogenmogen

“I’ve seen a lot of shocking art in my life, but unless the woman in the photo is shooting boiling oil out of her hoo-hoo, I doubt anyone would be actually scarred. Maybe if the frame had a really sharp edge and you bumped into it.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Herb & Jamaal is treading on dangerous waters, today. My first impression of the strip lead to a gay joke, just like every H&J. But then I noticed something: Laurel and Hardy is an awfully contemporary reference.” –zamros

“I’m pretty sure that Charlie has a REALDOLL tied up in Japanese rope bondage. I guess that would creep me out. Then again, in Luann there’s a troll forcing a teenage girl into cosplay.” –DeGroot of All Evil

“The picture on Charley’s wall is a blow-up of an A3G panel from last year, showing Lu Ann working in her art studio. Delilah recoils in horror after seeing Lu Ann’s abysmal flower paintings.” –AhClem

“This is Mary Worth. Everyone is insane in an incredibly square way.” –commodorejohn

“Knowing this strip we’ll have weeks of details of Wally captive in his cave — ‘There were times I pretended to have cancer, just to remind me of home.'” –Professor Fate

“I would prefer to believe instead that the Legionnaire turns away in disgust because he has realized that the sort of man who uses Pick-Up Lines to Get Women to get women is — or soon becomes — the sort of man who will talk about a woman, in her presence, as if she were a fish. He is stepping back from the brink of the abyss of loutishness into which the librarian has plunged.” –Q. Pheevr

“Nah, if Charley were slipping Delilah a roofie, we would have seen him very obviously sneak it out of wherever he kept it, plunk it into the drink, and mix it up, glancing back and forth as he did so at Delilah, who would be looking on obliviously. He would have followed up this particular villainy by rubbing his hands together and cackling with glee, and possibly spontaneously growing a Snidely Whiplash-esque mustache, so he could twirl it.” –Nomstrosity

“Once again, Ms. Buxley’s hopes are dashed. In this case, her hopes of being randomly proposed to by a skeezy guy she’s not dating. Really, though, isn’t that every girl’s dream?” –Evan

“Delilah plans to determine whether the unpleasant discolorations on the couch are semen or blood stains, by testing whether they can be removed with club soda. Depending on the answer, she will then decide whether to stay or leave. Adultery is hard work!” –DaveyK

“And as morals decay, Luann will eventually devolve into a series of plotless panels featuring nude underage girls lounging against one another. Of the men, nothing will remain but Brad’s tuft of hair and T.J.’s disembodied teeth.” –Cranky

“[Charley] shows great responsibility in not wanting to have children, thus assuring that the freakish combination of DNA that makes him look like the love child of Steve Buscemi and the Joker will remain out of the gene pool. Delilah, meanwhile, wants to inflict her strange, putty-like features on future generations. Who’s the real bad guy here?” –TheDiva

“When did Jack Chick start drawing the strip? ‘After we finish these drinks, why don’t we denounce Christ?'” –Dan Traut

“So let me get this straight … now that Mark Trail is in an actual toxic waste dump, there’s absolutely NO giant mutant squirrels to cut to in the 2nd panel?” –lunarhalo

“I’m seriously hoping that tomorrow, Mark Trail will feature a ‘Meanwhile…’ narration box and various scenes of Andy’s competence: Andy tracking the assassin (what do you call a guy who only shoots to wound?), confronting him, and chaining him to a log for the authorities to pick up later; Andy leading the EPA waste-disposal folks to the dump site; Andy directing the backhoe with his paws as it beeps beeps beeps into place to pick up the drums. All this will happen, of course, as Mark walks in the door of the hive-cabin and says to Cherry, ‘Where’s Andy?'” –buckyswife

“I like the range of emotions Del gets to express from one strip to the next, often without any kind of segue to guide the reader through her inner turmoil. First eagerly flirtatious, then horrified, and now cautiously optimistic. With any luck, the coming days will bring us rage, whimsy, despair, and finally avuncularity.” –Dan

“This strip affords us a wonderful opportunity to simply gaze at Mark Trail’s magnificent haircut and greasepaint eyebrows. He makes Superman look like some kind of damned dirty hippie in comparison.” –Joe Blevins

“Would Andy’s helping Mark Trail double the IQ of the team looking for the shooter, or is this one of those multiplication by zero problems?” –NoahSnark

“How does Charley drink? Is there a slot in his chin so that his maniacal smile is not disturbed?” –Dingo

“Curtis: I know it’s been said before, but can we skip to the part where he takes a sharpened brooch pin to his eyes?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Margo hears the ‘BRRROOOOM’ sound and immediately tunes out the rest of the boring himalaya-lama hooey, preoccupied with trying to remember whether she included ‘Sweep apartment’ on the yard-long list of orders, decrees, and miscellaneous directives she left on the fridge for Tommie.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“I suppose Marty is going to blame Gil for his missing eyes, too. Suck it up, kid!” –Elliegal

“MW: Wow. I knew the strip was in full-blown character assassination mode, but I wasn’t expected this level of horror. Forget tetanus, that leer is no longer human. It looks less like a leer and more like he’s trying to cut his head in two using only the muscles in his face.” –Brickers

“I love how Charley insists on punctuating even the most innocuous of conversations with a flagrant leer. ‘Why, Charley, what lovely guppies!’ ‘Oh, yeah? Well, if you dig those, baby, you oughta check out my (wink wink) neon tetras.'” –Violet

“MT: ‘See you later, honey! I’m going to track a sniper!’ God, I love this family.” –Chromium

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Camp Swampy is a pansexual B&D military fetish camp for the ultra-rich and NOT affiliated with the DoD. Miss Buxley will take your credit card information in the ‘General’s Office.'” –AeroSquid

“If readers of Cathy now know about Facebook, it’s all over. I say we beat a desperate retreat to MySpace, and hide in that HTML-littered wasteland of sexual predators, fake profiles from the Philippines, and preteen rexies who claim to be 18. If they find us there, it will be our Masada.” –teddytoad

“Of course, Margo doesn’t listen to a word anyone dressed in such odd clothes says, assuming it’s all gibberish anyway, but she does realize no-one’s said anything about her in the last five minutes, and that makes her sad. It will soon enough turn to anger.” –Donald the Anarchist

If you put some cash into my tip jar, I promise to invite you to my apartment and show you my “collectable” art! And thanks must go to my advertisers:

• Custom clogs on sale!: Multnomah Leather Shop clogs on sale! We make our clogs with leather and leather lining to fit your feet in 13 different styles and over 30 colors. Visit our website or call 503-227-4887.
• Slacker Heaven: Free games, pics, and videos. I haz zee funny!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 7/30/09

Thank goodness there’s been a slight lull in the madness over at Mary Worth, so I can check in with the madness over at Mark Trail! You might recall that our hero carried a wounded Joey Williams away from this very pile of chemical drums after he was felled by a long-distance sniper. But not killed! Mark says that the mysterious sniper took on the very difficult task of wounding Joey deliberately, because Joey’s no good to the gangsters dead. And Mark would know! He’s a smart guy! You can tell he’s smart because of the way that he’s just standing idly about, presumably in an ankle-deep puddle of toxic waste, at the scene where mere hours ago a hidden assailant brought down a snooper with a single shot, talking conversationally to nobody in particular about the bad guy’s plans, before deciding that he won’t be able to crack the case without his dog. I’m not sure if panel two’s extreme close-up of Mark’s forehead is supposed to help us better imagine the burning smell of Mark’s brain circuitry as he thinks extra-hard, or if there was supposed to be a rifle-scope target imposed over the scene that was accidentally left out.

Family Circus, 7/30/09

Their previous attempt may have failed, but the Keane parents seem determined to sacrifice their children to the terrible Ant Gods. Let’s wish them luck!

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 7/29/09

The action in today’s Beetle Bailey obviously violates every workplace sexual harassment regulation known to man, not that I expect Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Enterprises LLC to realize that there might be something inappropriate about handing a co-worker a skimpy undergarment and then demanding that she put it on right in front of you. Ignoring that for the moment, though, I do have to say that I like the (probably accidental) way that the always-unsettling wiggle lines of horniness emitted by Killer’s hat-nodules form what appear to be quotation marks around the word “present.” “I got you a ‘present.’ Well, it’s not really a present for you.”

Crock, 7/29/09

Now here’s a problem that arises when the art in your strip is mangled and impenetrable: I guess today’s punchline is supposed to some cruel joke about how the librarian’s girlfriend is ugly, but this being Crock, who can tell? Whether the joke is about supposedly ugly people or supposedly pretty people, they’re all just barely-recognizable Crock-squiggles.

Dick Tracy, 7/29/09

Wait, did I say that Dick Tracy was like German expressionist film? Now that we have an elaborately dressed ringmaster responding to a tragic scene by repeatedly shouting “It happened!”, I’m updating that assessment to David Lynch.

It’s nice of Dick to address our no-doubt-implicated-in-the-crime-but-still-emotionally-tortured ringmaster as “Mr. Ringmaster.” He knows that it costs him nothing to be polite, just as it will cost our overburdened court systems nothing when he executes everyone involved without trial in front of hundreds of horrified onlookers.

Mary Worth, 7/29/09

Oh, goodness, Charley isn’t just a sex pervert, but also an alcoholic, by which I mean “someone who drinks alcohol that isn’t the terrible ketchup-red wine they serve at the Bum Boat.” Delilah is right to cringe on that couch in terror! Of course she wants plain soda water, as flavored sodas are far too exciting.

Family Circus, 7/29/09

As several faithful readers have pointed out, this Family Circus camping sequence actually consists of reruns from the early 1980s. This explains the vintage station wagon, and the hanky code.