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Mary Worth, 4/5/23

Ah ha, we’ve finally arrived at the big dramatic twist in this storyline: Estelle has to convince Dr. Ed to go to therapy! I look forward to the next several weeks in which she gently overcomes his emotional reserves and lets him know that admitting he needs help isn’t a sign of weakn–oh, wait, what’s that? He said he’d be into it literally the first time she mentioned it? Ah. Well. I guess I look forward to the next several weeks in which he tries to figure out if Estelle’s therapist takes his insurance.

Family Circus, 4/5/23

Look, Dolly, I get that your whole job is saying the darnedest things, and there are only so many darnedest things available to say in the relatively limited space of a Family Circus caption, but I feel it’s very important that you not imply some kind of appliance vore fetish scenario here, because this panel will get posted in some web forums that none of us will be comfortable with.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/5/23

I think there’s something of a divide between people who say “fucking” to mean any kind of sex stuff generally, and people who say it to mean specifically p-in-v or -a intercourse. We know Eddie’s had a longtime romantic relationship with a mermaid, and today I guess we’re learning that this relationship’s sexual component has fallen into definition one but not definition two above — at least so far. I mean, that’s what this strip’s about, right? The prospect of penetrative sex with a mermaid? It’s not a strip with another joke that also slyly makes reference to “how exactly would it work for a guy to stick his dick in a mermaid?” Like that’s pretty explicitly what this one’s about?

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Hi and Lois, 3/26/23

Hi, you are … 45 years old, tops? You are probably never going to become a famous guitar player but you absolutely can still write a novel and, since the main barrier stopping most people from travelling around the world is money, as a comfortably middle-class adult you are probably closer to achieving that dream than you’ve ever been in your life. Are you … are you dying, Hi? Are you dying soon? Is this your way of softening the blow when you tell Lois that she’s about to be widowed?

Beetle Bailey, 3/26/23

I’m sorry, I didn’t speak up loudly enough years back when Beetle Bailey eased into its ongoing “Beetle and Miss Buxley are dating, by the way,” thing, and I strongly feel like I have to nip this in the bud. The whole point of the dynamic between Sargents Snorkel and Lugg is that she’s into him and it’s not reciprocated. I don’t care what headcanon you have about it — that he’s gay and secretly in love with Beetle, or that he’s asexual, or that he’s straight and interested in a relationship in general but simply doesn’t have romantic feelings for her — but doing a whole strip where Sarge really puts forth a lot of effort to be appealing on a date with her is a direct affront to every longtime Beetle Bailey reader.

Family Circus, 3/26/23

Jeffy is definitely puking his guts out all over the bed, right? That’s the joke here? That Billy got distracted and now Jeffy is plastering their room with barf?

Six Chix, 3/26/23

It’s springtime, everyone! Thought about beautifying your home by tearing a family apart lately?

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Daddy Daze, 3/20/23

OK, I know we’re all in agreement that the Daddy Daze daddy is deep in the throes of some kind of kind of seriously delusional state, but this is truly one of the most wack Daddy Dazes yet. The Daddy Daze daddy … likes all teams, equally? Like, from all sports? And thinks rooting for one in particular is a Sophie’s Choice situation? When it’s actually 100% how sports fandom works, you just pick one for more or less arbitrary reasons involving where you live or what players you liked when you’re between the ages of 8 and 12 or who your friends root for? And also he’s not in the position of picking a favorite child, so the metaphor doesn’t make any sense, which he admits two panels later???? It’s a good thing the Daddy Daze baby is too young to actually understand speech so his tiny mind won’t be permanently warped by all this.

Family Circus, 3/20/23

I do love that in Billy’s vision, his father is being angrily berated by the family doctor. I’m not sure if this is meant to indicate that he has an overly literally idea of how our for-profit health care system works, or if this is a sad reflection of how he’s treated when he inconveniences his parents by becoming ill.