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Zits, 12/10/22

The thing about dad jokes is that they are corny but actually perfectly constructed. Think about the classic “I’m hungry!” “Hi, hungry, I’m dad.” It’s corny as hell but pure and precise and not clunky at all. Claiming that Harley-Davidson underwear is the same thing as “a Harley” represents a failure to respect the linguistic disconnect — “underwear” is not a singular noun, you would never say “an underwear” or anything like that. This violates the form of the dad joke and I declare Walt a dad joke moron.

Family Circus, 12/10/22

Speaking of morons, I was going to go on a whole riff here about how “horn” and “corn” derive from the same Indo-European etymological root, but you know what? Billy’s too dumb to ever appreciate it, not that I’d be explaining it to him, obviously, but still: it’s wasted on him, thematically. And you! It’s Saturday, maybe I should go outside!

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Family Circus, 11/22/22

Back in 1996, Ma Keane got a kicky new hairstyle and it was such a big deal that it was the subject of feature stories in major newspapers. But in these fallen days, when comics are a neglected medium, there’s exactly zero buzz about Big Daddy Keane finally bleaching his hair platinum blond like he’s always wanted to. I think he looks great!

Funky Winkerbean, 11/22/22

Oh, god, it looks like we’re finally going to find out that the janitor has been putting cancer into the water all these years. IT WAS THE JANITOR! IT WAS THE JANITOR ALL ALONG! I mean, wouldn’t you try to kill off these freaks if you had the chance?

Beetle Bailey, 11/22/22

Anyone else briefly think Zero had frozen to death and get kinda sad while reading panel one? This is a hell of a way to find out that I care whether a Beetle Bailey character lives or dies!

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Gil Thorp, 11/21/22

Uh oh, it looks like the fall Gil Thorp storyline is tacking another important teen trend: the scourge of Advil addiction. Today’s kids think nothing about popping four “Vitamin I” caplets every two or three hours even though the label clearly says you should only do it four times a day. It’s been in Time and Newsweek! And you do not want to know what those sick freaks are doing with Icy Hot.

Family Circus, 11/21/22

I’m a little unnerved by the contrast between the big star being emitted by Billy’s foot, which generally indicates serious pain, and his dispassionate facial expression. “Hmm,” he seems to be thinking, “It appears that I’ve managed to injure one of my lesser extremities. Thank goodness I’ve hacked my neurological stack so that I’m receiving the relevant data from my pain receptors but am not distracted by it.”

Six Chix, 11/21/22

How’s everyone’s Thanksgiving shaping up? Have you got your dinner planned out? Are you sure you have enough pie for the w o o d   d e m o n s