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Gil Thorp, 11/21/11

Gil may be an incredibly crappy coach, but he’s no dummy! With his team coasting towards a winless season and the booster club in open revolt, he’s got one last chance to save his job, and he’s playing it for all it’s worth. “Sure, we may end the season with the worst record in decades, but we did help one kid with Asperger’s come out of his shell a bit and make friends. And isn’t that more important than some dumb old football game? Who’s gonna be the jerk to say that, huh? Yeah, thought so. See ya next year, when with any luck we’ll go 2-8!”

Apartment 3-G, 11/21/11

“Someone is crying her eyes out in there. It must be Lu Ann! Tommie has used advanced meditation techniques to ensure that she’s incapable of feeling anything stronger than ennui or mild anxiety, and if Margo were moved to tears, her sobs would be drowned out by the pleas for mercy from her hapless victims.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/21/11

Parson Tuttle is of course a notorious fraud without even the rudiments of a theological education, but based on that look of shock in panel two it appears that Parson Dickens isn’t, which will spell trouble for Hootin’ Holler’s beloved clergyman/grifter. “Tarnation, he’s callin’ a vacation a ‘sabbatical’? That’s sullyin’ the name of th’ sabbath — a violation of the fourth commandment! Welp, better gather th’ townsfolk for a good old-fashioned stonin’.”

Momma, 11/21/11

This strip would have been funnier (note that I didn’t say “funny”) if it had hinged on the contrast between Francis’ archaic CRT set and the flat-screen TVs that have pretty much been the only new televisions sold for the better part of a decade. But apparently that would require someone involved in the production of Momma to know that high-tech items like flat-screen TVs exist.

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Gil Thorp, 11/16/11

Trust me, the current plot of Gil Thorp is totally not worth time time it would take for me to describe it to you, but I do think everyone can find today’s strip amusing. Say what you will about those Mudlarks, but they sure are together emotionally. Most high school athletes would probably be cowed or angry when one of their coaches freaked out on them, but these guys just sweatily crack wise and do a little armchair (or sideline bench) psychoanalysis. “Ho hum, another high school football coach who’s just living vicariously through us, probably because his life peaked during his own high school days and now he’s way too emotionally invested in these largely meaningless contests! I mean, he’s right, we do suck, but he should be taking an entirely different motivational tack if he expects us to respect him.”

Judge Parker, 11/16/11

If only Derek were so self-aware; instead, it’s becoming increasingly clear that his feeble teenage wits are no match for Sophie’s robotic intelligence and grim determination to possess him “I’m sure you had no idea … but she threatened me today, after I openly declared my intentions of stealing you away from her! It was totally unprovoked, except for the part where I kept taunting her!”

Ziggy, 11/16/11

Ha ha, those wacky foreigners! Not so bright, but very, very hungry! They’re starving! Literally. Because of the famines. Wacky!

Hi and Lois, 11/16/11

In other news, Trixie thinks her mom is fucking the dog, I guess.

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Gil Thorp, 10/27/11

Now, I know it’s hard to focus on the speechifying, what with all the sexy, sweaty weight-lifting being served up to us, but there’s some good old fashioned mentoring strategizing going on here! Sure, Gil may have only heard of Asperger’s Syndrome like three strips ago, and the only thing he knows about Brody Abro is that he doesn’t like talking to other kids, but his unerring coaching instincts tell him that what Brody really needs is to talk to some other kids. This can’t possibly end badly! Look at how sweaty the man is, he clearly knows what he’s talking about.

Mary Worth, 10/27/11

“God damn it, am I going to have to find true love for every mousy waitress in this stupid diner? Uh, let’s see … where there is love there is can be no fear … to live in hearts we leave behind is not to die … am I getting warm yet? Christ, I just want to eat some pie in peace already.”