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In the absence of weights, are you employing isometrics? Well, don’t wait for the unenlightened to pester you about it; just declare the fact with pride with new workout gear from the Comics Curmudgeon store! We’ve got sleeveless men’s t-shirts and women’s tank tops designed for the descriminating isometrician. And, of course, once you’ve purchased your new garment, you simply must have someone photograph you in mid-isometric exercize so that you can join the array of models in the left nav bar. Do it! Do it now!

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Family Circus, 8/30/05

I think that, about ten years from now, we’ll see Dolly sitting on the curb outside a 7-Eleven repeating this exact phrase. Except instead of “Smelling these crayons,” she’ll say “Huffing this paint.” And instead of “think of school and Mrs. Clarke,” she’ll say “dizzy as hell, yo.”

I’m betting the MMMMMMM!! will still be hovering over her head, though. Or at least she’ll see it there.

Meanwhile, I don’t have time to futz around with the CafePress store tonight, but I think we’ve found a hilarious phrase to print on workout clothes:

The great thing about these out-of-context panels and quips from Gil Thorp is they don’t make appreciably more sense in context.

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Mary Worth, 8/25/05

I think JEFF IS IMPATIENT because you’ve been going out for years and the nights are still ending with a chaste peck on the cheek, Mary. Rita is just the latest excuse you’ve been able to throw into his horny path. I don’t think even your pink-psychedelic-starfish-t-shirt-and-pleated-baby-blue-skirt combo is going to dissuade him from his quixotic goal. He’s already at home, surfing the Internet with his one-handed, 19-key keyboard, looking for dirt on Rita to get her out of the picture. Maybe if there were a little more action going on, he wouldn’t need a one-handed keyboard, if you know what I’m saying.

By the way, if you want to see ol’ Dr. Jeff busting a move on Mary, check out this entry on Smitty Smedlap’s blog, Subdivided We Stand. Very disturbing.

Wouldn’t Wilbur the bald-headed advice columnist be a good person to consult for guidance in this situation? Perhaps; but a look over at Gil Thorp reveals that the legendary Marty Moon, insane with grief over the failure of his charity-based romance, has cut off one of Wilbur’s hirsute arms and is having someone slap him in the eye with it:

All this drama has been having a negative effect on Apartment 3-G’s Lu Ann over the past few days. Especially the head part of Lu Ann. Watch out, everybody, she’s gonna blow!