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Panel from Dick Tracy, 8/14/11

I find it intriguing that this home invasion tip actually comes from an officer of the railroad police. How many bits of advice do you think the Dick Tracy staff had to reject before they got to one that was actually useful for the general public? “That’s interesting, Sgt. Doherty, but I don’t know how many of our readers are interested in the best time of night to catch hobos napping in freight cars.”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 8/14/11

By “this economy,” Helga of course means the pre-monetary economy of early medieval Scandinavia, where almost all coins are either plundered from Western Europe or received in exchange for slaves sold to the Islamic world, and then are immediately buried in coin hoards.

Marvin, 8/14/11

“It’s almost as if she resents the fact that she’s doing all this while I sit here watching TV! Well, whatever, time to go whine for sex.”

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Mark Trail, 8/8/11

You guys, Mark Trail is on the case of this crazy biblical goose mystery, if by “on the case” you mean “heading down to the local U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service branch office to shoot the breeze for an hour or four”. More proof of government waste! How do these people have the time to jaw with random weirdos about geese or whatever when they should focusing on which wild animals can be most profitable harvested for their lovely coats? Anyway, this US&FWSer doesn’t just have an incredibly awkward/sexy way of sitting on a desk; he also has a decent memory for strange combinations of God and waterfowl. “Yeah, I heard about this sort of thing years ago, so I put a little pushpin in this map, right here near the Canadian border, just in case it ever happened again. They all laughed at me. ‘C’mon, Bob, take the pushpin out of the map,’ they said. Now I can put a second one in! Who’s laughing now?”

Hagar the Horrible, 8/8/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because murder and theft are very profitable!

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Hi and Lois, 7/2/11

Hi is right to look smug in that second panel: at last, his plan to arrange a marriage between his son and a young woman from a more powerful neighboring clan is coming to fruition. This can only increase the power and esteem of the Flagston family! (Alternately, what I’m reading as “smugness” may simply be drunkenness, since that thermos is no doubt full of gin.)

Hagar the Horrible, 7/2/11

Responding with “I’m a commuter” to a question about one’s profession is of course nonsense, but it makes for awkward dinner conversation when you tell recent acquaintances that all of your wealth has been stolen from faraway kingdoms where you and your men murdered everyone who resisted and enslaved the rest.