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Spider-Man, 5/13/15

Aww, Spider-Man’s head is hurting because he has to do some fancy brain-thinking, which isn’t his strong suit! If only he could just solve this problem via super-powered heroics, something else he’s not particularly good at. I like the fact that his current theory about the Hobgoblin hinges on the idea that everyone else is just as incapable of not blurting out whatever transient thoughts run through their minds as he is.

Heathcliff, 5/13/15

Sure, Heathcliff has a steady girlfriend, but his sexuality is wild and cannot be tamed. Perhaps, like many couples, Heathcliff and Sonia have an “arrangement,” a negotiated agreement whereby one or both of them can have sexual liaisons outside the relationship under certain defined circumstances. Like if an owl comes onto Heathcliff, for instance. If an owl comes onto Heathcliff, Heathcliff is 100% going to fuck that owl.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/9/15

Say what you will about our man Snuffy’s book learnin’, moral fiber, or long-term planning skills, but you have to admire him as a savvy realist. For instance, he’s well aware of the dysfunctional nature of the polity he lives in. He watched those fancy flatlander politicians from the state government cut the ribbon on the project that finally brought plumbing to Hootin’ Holler and thought, “Who’s gonna maintain them pipes? Folks around here? The guv’ner? The revenooers? Don’t want none for my shack, no thanks.”

Gil Thorp, 5/9/15

Looks like True’s awkward flirting is going great! “Why, yes, I have read one of the most beloved novels of the 20th century, one assigned to millions of high school students in their English classes! Mmmm, smell this hamburger, it smells like smug literacy.”

Heathcliff, 5/9/15

Never mind why Heathcliff’s owner-grandma seems scandalized by cats who aren’t wearing clothes: what’s Heathcliff’s owner-grandpa holding in his hand? Are those … calipers? Going to be working real hard at not thinking about the intersection between cat nudism and calipers for the next couple of days, thanks.

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Six Chix, 4/16/15

I genuinely love both the sly expression this woman is wearing — “Oh, you clever capitalists, I see what you’re doing with this and while I don’t approve I can’t help but admire your cunning” — and the advertising slogan “NEW! YUMMY! EAT YOUR CUP!” which honestly should be the structure for the ad campaign for every new product ever introduced by anybody.

Heathcliff, 4/16/15

Yes, cats have learned to harness the power of the mighty oxen! Things are getting quite serious … indeed.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/16/15

GOD DAMN IT THE CORRECT PLURAL IS “AMAZING MISTERS SPONGE”