Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/27/24

Big news, everyone! Our character wrap-up is finally over and we’re getting to our next exciting Rex Morgan, M.D., medically themed storyline: Buck’s tween son Corey, who appears to have hit puberty and also grown his hair all long and greasy, just like the ladies like it, is getting into standup comedy, along with his friend Parker. Now, having been to far too many open mics myself, I can tell you that they are wretched hives of scum and villainy and “supportive” parents who take their children to them should be investigated by CPS, but it is true that testing out the timing and delivery of the jokes you write is an important part of the proces, so they’re a necessary evil. For instance, is “as always, the sky” a funny response to “what’s up”? Well, it really depends on whether you say it in a jokey, smirky way (bad) or deliver it with a world-weary sigh, as if you cannot believe how many times you’ve been forced to answer this simple and obvious question (good). Anyway, in this plot we might get to see Corey become the Joker, so fingers crossed for that.

Hi and Lois, 5/27/24

One of my pet peeves is that Memorial Day, a holiday specifically set aside to honor those who died while serving in the US armed forces, has sort of become elided with Veterans Day and is now just treated as “let’s respect the troops, but when the weather is nicer.” The result is that you get strips like this, where two little kids knock on the door of their elderly neighbor and are like “Hey, Mr. Weaving, do you have any memories of your dead comrades? Were they shot down right in front of you? Does the image never leave your mind?”

Beetle Bailey, 5/27/24

Beetle Bailey understands the holidays correctly, at least. That’s what I’m taking from Gen. Halftrack’s facial expression, anyway, which reads less as “sentimental” and more as “my God, look at how young and full of promise they were. I’m the only one who made it out and I’ve wasted my life. I should’ve been there when that NVA artillery shell hit, not them. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me!”

Mary Worth, 5/27/24

What do you think she’s hearing, exactly? Snoring? Sobbing? Chewing? Some unholy combination of the three?

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/26/24

Jesus, Wilbur, did you ever think that Willa has probably even more reason to mourn than you do, and you’ve never tried to reach out to her so that the two of your could support one another? No, instead you’ve turned your grief into a narcissistic wallow, and have further alienated your remaining fish by making it clear that Stellan was your favorite.

Meanwhile, in the final panel Mary has revealed how long this has been going on, and I have to say that “several weeks” is one of the less amusing options. Like, it would’ve been funny if we found out that Wilbur had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for a year, and very funny if we found out he had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for six hours.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/26/24

Damn, with all this talk of sacrifice, I assumed Hagar was going to offer a fine stallion or heifer up to the gods of the Norse pantheon to propitiate them for safety on his next raid. But with a larder full of cuisine brought back from Italy and the mysterious lands south of Vinland, I guess he’s a little soft now to go in for the old ways.

Hi and Lois, 5/26/24

An underrated aspect of the Hi and Lois mythos is that Hi has one friend, who is his nextdoor neighbor and also his coworker, and he really doesn’t like him very much.

Post Content

Pardon My Planet, 5/22/24

As a hopeless Coke Zero addict, I of course respect any monument to those who fought and died in the name of delicious soda pop. But why is this monument out in the middle of the countryside, rather than gracing one of our great cities? At first, I was upset, but now I see that patriotic Americans are willing to hike great distances to see it in all its majesty, which makes it much more meaningful, I think.

Hi and Lois, 5/22/24

As no punchline His and Loises go, this one is pretty good! “It’s fun to rip” is a nice catchphrase for a baby — it is indeed fun to rip, for kids and adults alike. I also enjoy Chip telling his dad, who is almost certainly a Millennial, that he needs to “go digital” to keep up with the times.

Mary Worth, 5/22/24

Yeah, yeah, Wilbur is falling further and further into despair, but are you telling me that some plebeian Doordasher was allowed through Charterstone’s walled perimeter and is now wandering freely through the grounds and hallways without being accompanied by a resident at all times? Wilbur’s going to be hearing about this from Mary, just like he’s going to be hearing about the condo association bylaws’ surprisingly explicit rules about corpse disposal.