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Mary Worth, 5/18/24

Remember when we learned that Old Man Wynter purchased a headstone for his dog that was significantly larger than the one he bought for his wife? Well, it still wasn’t that big, and I hope that Wilbur plans to outdo it by building an enormous obelisk, or perhaps a pyramid, down at the pet cemetery, large enough to blot out the sun, tipped with a lifelike glass sculpture of his favorite fish (non-alive division), Stellan. Or maybe he’s just going to eat him, slurping him out of that little net like he’s doing a shot of his beloved purple drank. Excited to find out!

Hi and Lois, 5/18/24

He’s like, what, ten, fifteen feet away? You could wake him up just by having a conversation at a normal volume! This isn’t very impressive at all.

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Hi and Lois, 5/12/24

The “joke” of today’s strip is that the Flagston children have announced that their mother now has to share Mother’s Day with their father, and that their father will not be receiving any recognition on Father’s Day next month at all. And the adults are just sitting there smiling about it! Have some self-respect and stand up for yourselves, you two! I know you’re outnumbered by the children, but one of them is a literal baby, I think you still have the advantage.

Beetle Bailey, 5/12/24

Beetle Bailey fans, of course, delight at strips where Sarge uses kinetic violence to reduce Beetle to an unrecognizable and mangled pile of flesh, but as today’s strip demonstrates, they would be horrified at the thought of Sarge poisoning Beetle and need to be reassured that he is being sprayed with only “toxin-free” chemicals. In this sense, and in this sense only, Beetle Bailey is very much like modern combat, as governed by the 1925 Geneva Protocol for the Prohibition of the Use in War of Asphyxiating, Poisonous or other Gases, and of Bacteriological Methods of Warfare.

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Gil Thorp, 5/6/24

Milford has its own Native American reservation and, we learn today, its own institution of higher learning. Soon, having accrued all the necessary components of a robust civic life, this high-school sports crazed town simply won’t need the rest of the United States. That’s when Phase 2 begins.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/6/24

“Let me explain! The castle’s main sewer drains into the moat. You probably already have cholera!”

Mary Worth, 5/6/24

Wow, it looks like Meagan didn’t just smooch that waiter to help purge all Wilbur-related thoughts from her mind; she actually wants to see if he’d be a good fit for a long-term relationship! I certainly hope that she, like everyone Wilbur has been even obliquely romantically involved with, invites him to her wedding to really rub his face in it.

Hi and Lois, 5/6/24

That’s … that’s what everybody likes about working form home, Hi. That’s one of the main reasons why people like to work from home!