The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Judge Parker

Comments are closed

Praise Heath from whom all blessings flow

Post Content

Heathcliff, 5/5/26

The oldest references to cherubim in the bible seem to imagine them as winged half-animal, half-human creatures that guard or carry the throne of the deity, and similar iconography is visible across the ancient Near East. Ezekiel, during the Exile, had a famous vision of cherubim as terrifying multi-faced beings, possibly borrowed from Babylonian imagery; after the Exile, as Jewish theology began to conceive of God as more and more remote and less human-like, an array of semi-divine angelic beings started becoming important as intercessors, at which point cherubim became part of the “inner circle” of angels, close to God’s throne and intellect. This angelology was eventually adapted by Christians, and, thanks to Renaissance painters adopting the imagery of Greek and Roman putti (winged child-like figures), cherubs eventually became the cute little guys we associate with them today, though still strongly associated with their proximity to God. What I’m asking is: Is Heathcliff a divine being? Will He soon transcend away from our experience, leaving behind the cherubim he created in His image to relay to us commandments about what kind of helmets we are to wear, and when?

The Lockhorns, 5/5/26

As a frequent public transit user, I think people’s worry about crime on public transit is largely overblown, but there are definitely dangers to look out for. Like, for instance, what if Leroy Lockhorn just started blathering on at you about how he can’t keep up with the slang the kids use these days, and your stop is miles away? Not the sort of thing that’ll happen to you in your car, I’ll say that.

Judge Parker, 5/5/26

“I mean, we’re not here, so it’s not like we have any idea how good a job you’re doing. But we know you have low self-esteem and will do pretty much any annoying job if people compliment you for it, so we’re giving that a shot.”

Comments are closed

Oh, it’s OK to punch a guy in the throat, but this goes too far somehow

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 4/7/26

You know, if, before today, you had asked me which Walker-Browne character would have been the first to declare themselves a sovereign citizen, I would’ve guessed Rocky from Beetle Bailey. I can’t say that it’s a huge surprise to see Thirsty winning this particular race, however.

Judge Parker, 4/7/26

OK, so, when I said that this thing was maybe a fraternity paddle yesterday, I was joking, because where would they get a fraternity paddle? But Randy as an ex frat boy suddenly makes a lot of sense, honestly. He went to Harvard Law but Harvard doesn’t have a Greek system, so where do we think he did undergrad? Duke? Feels like a Duke guy, right?

Gil Thorp, 4/7/26

FORESHADOWING! Which Mudlark golfer will lose an eye when a sudden gust blows a chip shot right back in their face? Who will be found liable when courtroom testimony about this very conversation results in multiple diverging interpretations, Rashomon-style? Stay tuned to Gil Thorp to find out!

Comments are closed

Fraught greetings

Post Content

Luann, 4/6/26

So at some point in the long stretch when I was demonstrating self-care and not reading Luann, there was some kind of romantic/emotional entanglement between Bernice and a guy named “Piro,” which I have learned about peripherally but have never sought out further details on. I guess the fool’s paradise I’ve been living in ends today, though, and I’ll soon be learning more than I ever wanted to know. For today I mostly just wanted to point out that the Luann brain trust apparently decided to start a plot with a booty call text, learned that “u up?” is a popular format for such a message, and couldn’t bring themselves to introduce such a barbarism in their comic, so they did the best they could with it.

Mary Worth, 4/6/26

OK, I have to hand it to Mary, “He had a girlfriend … and now he doesn’t. He’s upset about it” is an extremely funny way to describe the Harvey story to this point. Still, I feel like if you wanted to pull an emotionally distant adult child back into her father’s life, “He sent $200,000, which presumably you would have been in line to inherit, to someone he’s never met in person” would be a somewhat more effective hook? I don’t mean to tell Mary how to do her business, though, and Sharon’s reaction seems to indicate that “salacious gossip” may be the best on-ramp to get her involved in the situation.

Judge Parker, 4/6/26

Bogdan update! Just moments after Bogdan was punched in the throat by Neddy, an unnamed third party has begun bludgeoning him with a baseball bat, or a cricket bat, or maybe a fraternity paddle? Whatever it is, it’s definitely something you don’t want to be hit in the head with, even if you hadn’t just been punched in the throat, and, as we’ve discussed, Bogdan has been punched in the throat relatively recently.