Post Content

Judge Parker, 9/18/25

I’m never exactly sure how old Sam and Abbey are supposed to be — yes, they’re the parents of two women who are both in their early to mid 20s, but they’re the adoptive parents of those two women and more to the point adopted them when those two women were tweens, so reproductive biology isn’t necessarily a factor and Sam and Abbey could be as young as their … early 40s, maybe? My point is that Abbey in panel two looks a lot like an elder millennial influencer with a lot of lip filler doing a front-facing camera reel about “My adopted daughter? Taking care of our friend’s granddaughter who’s been abandoned by her parents due to a series of espionage-related shenanigans? Let me stop you right there with a big ‘no’ — and that’s the tea, sis.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/18/25

Oh! How embarrassing for Yvonne! She didn’t know that roots, or possibly Americana, or maybe both of them, is/are called “Ameripolitan” now! Incredible social faux pas here, she won’t be able to show her face in public for weeks. If you want to avoid the inevitable social shunning that would follow on from such a mistake, be sure to write your newspaper and demand that they carry Rex Morgan, M.D., the only comic strip that gets into the minute gradations of various musical genres that nobody listens to and if they did listen to them they’d be like “this is all the same kind of music, why are you calling these songs different things.”

The Lockhorns, 9/18/25

I guess the joke here is that Leroy has insulted this supercilious French waiter and is now being challenged to a duel, but here is my preferred interpretation: after spending just a few minutes listening to Leroy and Loretta bicker, he returned to the table with those pistols and said, “My friends, in my country, I would suggest that you deal with your marital unhappiness with what the French call ‘an arrangement,’ but as we are in America, we shall come to an American solution. You must shoot each other, with guns.”

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 9/8/25

Now, one of Loretta’s running gripes with Leroy is that he doesn’t make enough money for her tastes, so we can be certain that her shoe spending allowance could not have been the difference between profitability and insolvency for this store. We must assume that this is Leroy doing yet another bit as part of their long-running marital conflict. Not sure if we’re meant to understand that she’s just off-panel, seething, or if she’s not even there and he’s just doing what needs to be done to make sure there’s a baseline level of anti-Loretta sentiment in the community.

Andy Capp, 9/8/25

Are you, an American, worried that you’ll attend a snooker tournament at some point in the future and you won’t be up on the lingo? Fear not: thanks to Andy Capp, you now know that you can casually say to a companion, about someone doing well, “Boy, he [or she, I assume women are allowed to play snooker] can sure pot those balls!” The comics really are a source of cultural enrichment and must be protected as a medium, possibly with a generous government subsidy.

Mary Worth, 9/8/25

“I too would enjoy the trip, but not so much that I’m going to make up any kind of specific reason why I can’t go. See you whenever!”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/7/25

I myself am not a parent and don’t presume to fully understand how they have to balance between fiercely protecting their children and also allowing them autonomy to follow their own goals and desires. Would I let my tween daughter travel across the country with some nice old lady who used to be my neighbor? I could see good reasons for going either way, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would definitely nail down whether this trip is one week or two before I signed off on it. That’s just common sense! Especially since her mother and I would be using her absence as an opportunity to have sex more often, I’d want to know when she’s coming back. She probably has a key and could just let herself in the apartment!

Beetle Bailey, 9/7/25

Joshreads dot com oldheads remember that years ago Lt. Fuzz turning blue was a coloring error and a sign of declining standards at the syndicate. Today, Sgt. Snorkel turning blue is a joke about how he’d rather suffer self-induced hypoxia and the resulting brain damage than simply deal with his commanding officer in a mature and respectful manner, and a sign of an entirely different kind of declining standards at the syndicate.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/7/25

There are tons of Lockhorns jokes about Leroy drunkenly flirting with blondes twice as tall as he is, so I’m glad the strip is finally acknowledging that Loretta, too, is sometimes horny. Her little quip doesn’t exactly make sense — is she saying that she’s going to commit this man’s rippling, muscular bod to memory so she can revisit it over and over again in her mind palace? — but it’s a good first step.

Marvin, 9/7/25

Wait, this robot yearns to play with Marvin and is overjoyed at the prospect of it? The AI haters are right, this is an evil technology that must be stopped now.