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Luann, 4/13/09

After a week of Gunther “Clueless Doofus” Berger and Luann “Woo Me!” DeGroot, we’re back at last to Brad “Clueless Doofus” DeGroot and Toni “Woo Me!” Daytona. This strip sure does know how to mix it up! You’ve got to admire how Brad slips in that a) this invitation is for breakfast only, so there will be no squicky sex going on, and b) TJ will be there, so the wall-to-wall squickiness will have nothing to do with sex.

Shoe, 4/13/09

Pluggers, lacking only the good taste, restraint, and simple human compassion.

Slylock Fox, 4/13/09

Ah, Casa Shrew, just as we’d imagined it. Looks like Sly will be rethinking this part-time gig as building inspector, as soon as he takes a moment to hurl.

And, in other news . . .

Garfield, 4/13/09

Hmm. Garfield minus Garfield, with Garfield. Not quite clear where this is headed.

Dick Tracy, 4/13/09

. . . and a big hand for new Dick Tracy artist Jim Brozman — just like the one he gave us in panel three there.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus, 4/10/09

Don’t believe her, Jeffy! She claims that the mystical orb she holds is the key to spiritual enlightenment, but its roiling inky blackness tells a very different story.

Luann, 4/10/09

I don’t know if I’d call a guy who can however briefly be in two places at once “pathetic.” “Unsettling,” maybe.

Ziggy, 4/10/09

I was pretty shocked to see that Ziggy has a vanity plate that reads ZIGGY, because I always assumed that he lived his life under the constant, crushing burden of the shame of being Ziggy. If he doesn’t, he should.

Spider-Man, 4/10/09

The Spider-Man comic strip in a nutshell: Our terrifying supervillain, concerned about his son and determined to wreak revenge on the city, takes some time out to hang out in somebody’s cubicle and eat a sandwich.

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Mary Worth, 4/2/09

Always working on self-improvement, Mary has managed to upgrade the contents of her thought balloons from simple text-based information to a full multimedia experience. I was going to say that she really needs a hobby, but then I realized that figuring out better ways to obsess over other people’s problems so as to help her forget her otherwise empty life is her hobby.

Luann, 4/2/09

Does anyone else remember how, years ago, Greg Evans had his readers vote on whether Luann was going to go to some dance with either Gunther or Aaron Hill? I seem to recall that either Aaron won the vote, or Gunther won the vote but then Luann went with Aaron to the dance anyway. My point is that in panel three Gunther is right: he is unloved either by the majority of the people who read about his life or by his creator.

Marmaduke, 4/2/09

It’s natural that Marmaduke’s owner is confused. For most of us, being transported by our demonic pet through a mystical portal into some kind of hell-dimension of eternal torment would be an unfamiliar experience, and we wouldn’t have any idea what was happening until too late.

Marvin, 4/2/09

It’s been a painful experience for Marvin’s grandparents to have lost all their money and move due to financial necessity in with their daughter and her family; the worst part is that they have to live with Marvin, obviously. But still, multigenerational homes are traditional in much of the world, and there’s opportunities for real wisdom to be passed on. For instance, today Marvin is learning that human vanity does not fade with age, but rather only becomes more ridiculous.

Spider-Man, 4/2/09

Ha ha, Spider-Man told a “not” joke! These were very popular twenty years ago or so.

Mark Trail, 4/2/09

“But first, we’ve got $500 to spend! That will sure buy a lot of khaki and neckerchiefs!”