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Crock, 7/25/23

Say what you will about the newspaper comic strips, but each one is a rich world filled with details that even dedicated daily readers might go for years without discovering. For instance, did you know that Quench, the beloved (?) camel character in Crock, got his name because his thirst for sweet, soul-numbing alcohol can never be “quenched”?

Marvin, 7/25/23

How many times has this happened to you: You’re in the bathroom at a friend’s house, reading a book of Weird Trivia they keep on the back of the toilet, and you stumble upon a factoid and think “Ha, I can imagine how the syndicated newspaper comic strip character Marvin would react to this!” Well, if you’re on the Marvin creative team, you can easily use that little epiphany to meet your daily joke quota. (This is honestly the best case scenario for a Marvin strip inspired by time spent in a bathroom.)

Family Circus, 7/25/23

Loving everyone’s facial expressions here as they try, each in their own way, to deal with Jeffy’s bullshit. Look at Dolly, she’s having to go into some sort of centered deep breathing wellness exercise in order to not have a meltdown at him.

Dennis the Menace, 7/25/23

Dennis the Menace is obviously the much more menacing “child says darndest thing at a restaurant” panel today, in the sense that he seems to be going out of his way to solicit a wellness check from CPS.

Hi and Lois, 7/25/23

I find Hi’s expression in the second panel extremely wholesome here. He didn’t think it was possible for him to respect the troops any more — but thanks to his garbage man, he’s found a way!

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Six Chix, 7/22/23

One of the fundamental gimmicks of the comics is to provide human-level thought capabilities to animals and plants and even inanimate objects, which is all very good, but the reason that, for instance, yesterday’s piss play Six Chix was so off-putting is that it provided that sort of consciousness to a tree, which normally you don’t even think about when you let your dog piss on it, but now you’ve been given a window to a world where the tree might have opinions about being pissed on, and it’s not a view anyone wanted! Anyway, not to dwell on it, but, Six Chix, what are you doing, why are these animals having conversations in human language about eating poop, I’m begging you to step back from the brink.

Marvin, 7/22/23

And babies! Babies are the same deal! An actual preverbal infant pissing himself: fine, normal, you take it in stride; a Marvin character baby pissing himself and saying “I’m doing this for the attention!”: gross, horrible, why is this happening, how can we make it stop?

Curtis, 7/22/23

OK, in non-piss news, this one is going to require a bit of setup, but: Curtis got a summer job working at a sea turtle rescue org, and there was a sea turtle who had lost a flipper and who was always very depressed but got happy when Curtis was around, and it first they thought it was in love with Curtis, but then it turned out it just loved his trademark green hat, so everyone else who worked there got one too. But then they also figured out that it would be happier if they gave it a prosthetic fin? Which makes you wonder why they didn’t just do that in the first place?? They’re literally an organization that rescues and cares for sea turtles??? And their first thought was hat-based therapy????

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Marvin, 7/16/23

Setting aside for the moment the entire “how old is Marvin” question — he’s preverbal, at least for this strip, and not potty trained? — I’m not sure who we’re supposed to sympathize with here. Personally speaking I would not want to be forced to go out to “play” by myself with no friends or toys in sight. Also, I know we’re in the front yard here, but I assume he’s not supposed to be exploring the neighborhood, seeing as he’s preverbal and not potty trained? I’m all for free range kids but that seems a little young in my opinion.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/16/23

Eye surgery is, like, a thing you specialize in, right? It’s not necessarily something you want your neighbor, who’s a G.P. and never liked you in the first place and is visibly annoyed with you and your whole situation, to do after watching a quick YouTube video?

Dustin, 7/16/23

You know, this isn’t the sort of thing I’d usually recommend, but maybe Dustin’s dad could try drinking a little more. Just to take the edge off. Just as an experiment! It’s not like his personality could get much worse.

Dennis the Menace, 7/16/23

Probably unsurprising that Mrs. Wilson fears the looming spectre of death, while Mr. Wilson frankly welcomes it.