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Mary Worth, 11/17/20

I love that this picture is the one that Tommy is staring at fiercely to reassure himself that he’s still a good person who’s made a lot of progress despite his current bumpy romantic situation. “Damn it, would a loser have a ripped bod like that? No! I good enough and I’m beefy enough to earn respect, and I’m going to step up my volunteer work with that weightlifting charity to make sure the kids of tomorrow have a head start when it comes to making gains!”

Shoe, 11/17/20

“And I don’t have any? Because I’m a bird? And have wings instead? Is that the joke? God damn it, one of these days the joke here is going to be about how we’re birds. It has to happen eventually!”

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Mary Worth, 11/14/20

Oh, man, it looks like Tommy’s going to prove he’s not using again, the only way he can: by getting a better job! Obviously only a loser would work at, uh, the place where Brandy works, so the way for Tommy to prove he’s not a loser would be to get a job somewhere else. Yes, it’s definitely true that people with prestigious, high-paying jobs like stockbrokers or actors would never use drugs, so this is a foolproof plan.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/14/20

[I brace myself for the non-stop thrill ride that is Rex Morgan, M.D., and begin the first panel] HOLY SHIT THERE’S HOT SOUP IN THOSE CONTAINERS, WHAT IF NIKI SPILLS IT [I get to the second panel] OH THANK GOD, HE DIDN’T SPILL IT [I begin crying because I’m so relieved but emotionally drained by this whole experience]

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Daddy Daze, 11/6/20

Daddy Daze launched in June of 2018, with a mission to bring home to readers “all the weirdness that comes with parenting, dealing with small versions of themselves who are inquisitive and sweet, and bewildering all at the same time.” But over the last two years, it’s gotten pretty much all the mileage it can out of that material, and now … now it’s diaper time. Watch out, Marvin, there’s a marginally more sophisticated purveyor of piss jokes in town.

Dustin, 11/6/20

A fun thing about being married to someone for a long time is that you become extremely well attuned to all their annoying little habits, to the point that you can call your spouse out on them before they even do them — a move that they almost certainly consider to be one of your annoying little habits.

Mary Worth, 11/6/20

Damn it, Tommy, Mary likes the excitement, the uncertainty, the chase that comes at the beginning of a new meddle. If you basically just throw yourself at her feet and sob “I suck, fix me,” you’re really going to cut into her enthusiasm for the whole process.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/6/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Snuffy doesn’t know what “stress” means!