Archive: Mary Worth

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Beetle Bailey, 12/12/23

One of the whole points of Beetle Bailey is that the title character is lazy. Or, I guess if we’re being more charitable, despite the fact that he’s enlisted in the notoriously hierarchical U.S. Army, we could say he simply refuses to do things that he doesn’t feel like doing, even if he’s ordered to do so — that he’s “somebody who’s caught in the system that they have to resist in order to exist,” in one of Mort Walker’s more poetic descriptions of his most famous creation. This is all well and good and honestly entertaining when Beetle is refusing to peel potatoes or mop the floor or whatever make-work tasks Camp Swampy has on offer; but today’s strip, which features an terribly injured man trapped in a burning car, his dog howling out in desperate hope that someone can help his master before he dies in one of the most horrifying ways imaginable, makes Beetle’s bit of doing a real half-assed job at everything, including providing or calling for assistance in an emergency, somewhat less comical.

Mary Worth, 12/12/23

Who’s the worst possible person to try to introduce to the idea of a polycule, and what’s the worst possible way to do it? I’m tentatively going to go with “Keith” and “like this.”

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Pluggers, 12/9/23

Sure, “pluggers lead incredibly boring lives and can’t think of anything even vaguely interesting to put into a letter” is a pretty funny bit. But when you think about the fact that Pluggers is a comic composed entirely of anecdotes derived from letters sent in by pluggers, and what we see are the most interesting out of them — well, let’s just say there are a lot of layers to this one.

Mary Worth, 12/9/23

Oh, ha ha, the ‘roided out ex-cop isn’t even in a relationship yet and he’s already seething with suspicion and jealousy? This can only go good places!

Hi and Lois, 12/9/23

The thing I like most here is the detail that Irma has rented this leaf blower. Like, she could’ve bought one as a permanent addition to the family toolset; maybe its ease of use would get Thirsty to take care of the yard more often! But actually cleaning up the leaves has long taken a back seat to revenge in this particular ongoing marital dispute, and she only needs the leaf blower for an afternoon for that.

Dennis the Menace, 12/9/23

Oh no, Dennis the Menace did a sort of accurate generation gap comic! I take no pleasure in reporting this.

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Mary Worth, 12/8/23

Just from the standpoint of hard-hitting social drama, I think “Young Sonia is seduced to leftism by a guy in a dumb hat” is like a thousand times less interesting than “Young Sonia is dating/in love with a guy in a dumb hat who’s old enough to be a plausible romantic interest for her mother.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/8/23

After spending all week honing his skills in traditional Appalachian musicianship, Jughaid has discovered that his grandfather is happy to play a ghastly parody of a hillbilly rustic so as to grab hold of a few flatlander dollars in what many are calling the grimmest Snuffy Smith in years.

Dennis the Menace, 12/8/23

“George, I see you once a year and don’t know anything about you that isn’t in your chart, so feel free to not make what appear to be jokes about whoever ‘Dennis’ is and this whole thing will go a lot faster.”

Hi and Lois, 12/8/23

“Plus AI is incredibly computationally intensive and is driving up electricity usage, and thus contributing to global warming. So, win-win!”