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Mark Trail, 3/29/13

The current Mark Trail plot has ended as most of them do, in violence, so let us take a moment to pause and acknowledge that fact. Yes, Mark has yet to unleash his Fists o’ Justice™, and perhaps they will remain sheathed for the duration of this storyline, but the Flying Tackle of Fury® is also a venerable Trailian tradition, and respect must be paid, even if “tradition” might kind of be code for “there is one ancient original Mark Trail drawing of someone tackling someone else at the waist, and it’s just been endlessly photocopied and traced over the course of the decades.”

Mary Worth, 3/29/13

Meanwhile, what in the name of all that is holy is happening to Elinor’s face — nay, her whole head — in panel one? It’s like she can’t be satisfied with just faking some ailment to nip her daughter’s chances of romantic happiness in the bud; she’s going to actually will herself into a stroke using the power of sheer hatred, with the unsettling resulting skull distortion we can all see, much to our horror.

Family Circus, 3/29/13

Aww, isn’t that cute! The Keanes are using Billy to run a Social Security disability benefits scam!

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Family Circus, 3/23/13

You know that I don’t usually wish good things for the Keane Kids, but my heart does go out to them a little bit here, imagining them paging through book after book with gritty, morally complex endings in which love fails to conquer all, good doesn’t triumph over evil, and ambiguous characters try and fail to grapple with a world they never made. But still, PJ and Jeffy look insufferably smug as they prepare themselves for the sweet, sweet fairy tale action they have coming to them. “Aw, yeah, in this book the attractive and virtuous are going to defeat the hell out of their ugly enemies, who are cruel to them for reasons that are never fully examined! Can’t wait for the wedding at the end, heteronormativity rules!”

Wizard of Id, 3/23/13

Huh, I guess I’m not surprised exactly that the Wizard of Id is the first newspaper comic strip to depict an actual steaming turd, but it wouldn’t have been my first guess. (First guess: Marvin, obviously.)

Mary Worth, 3/23/13

“Enough of this coy literary flirting! Are you two going to fuck or what?”

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Mary Worth, 3/21/13

Let me tell you a story about one of the origins of this blog. One day in 2002, I moved to Baltimore, and as was the style at the time, I subscribed to the print version of the local newspaper, the Baltimore Sun. In 2002 the Sun had four glorious pages of comics, among which were all the continuity strips that are my current mainstays. Mary Worth was in the midst of a storyline about balding crank Smitty Smedlap, who hated fish (or, as he called it, “feesh”) and didn’t care who knew it. When I first tuned in October of 2002, he was eating with Mary (and maybe some other people?) at the Bum Boat and complaining about its feesh-based menu. This went on for weeks. Everyone else just sat around uncomfortably, letting him rant. Was it supposed to be awkward? Were the strip writers aware of how socially aggravating Smitty was? I couldn’t tell, and I was riveted. Thus, whenever we hit an awkward meal in Mary Worth, I’m full of nostalgia and my love for the strip — for the whole genre — is renewed.

I’m particularly enjoying Mary and Tom’s facial expressions as they sit and watch the fun. Mary seems to be keeping her face deliberately neutral — she abhors conflict, of course, but she also enjoys the quick access to backstory this argument is giving her. Tom, meanwhile, looks increasingly agitated that he’ll be found out at as man who divorced his wife and subsequently torn limb from limb by the Kinleys, who will be relieved to at last have a common enemy.

Crankshaft, 3/21/13

“Coming up next on Channel 12 Action News: Hated local creep Ed Crankshaft has immobilized himself in an unprotected public space! 12 On Your Side reporter Harv Postman will give you information on angry mob staging points, where pitchforks and torches will be available, after these messages.”

Spider-Man, 3/21/13

Really, if every Spider-Man plot were about Spider-Man meeting other, cooler superheroes and being humiliated by how much better their powers were than his, I would be a happy guy.