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Mary Worth, 2/13/05

Now, I know what you’ve been thinking: “Apartment 3-G and Mark Trail are all well and good, but what really packs ’em in the seats is Mary Worth. So where’s she been, huh?” Well, while Mark’s been battling sharks and drug runners, and Apartment 3-G has been all pregnant high schoolers and white slavery, exactly nothing of any even remote interest has been happening in the excruciating slow-motion romance of Anna and Dr. Brian. After something like ten weeks of cow eyes and Richard Bach quotes, at the beginning of February things finally seemed to be looking up when Brian’s high-powered lawyer ex-wife declared her intention to win his love back by any means necessary. However, her efforts fizzled in less than a week (which in Mary Worth chronology is an increment of time so brief that it can only be measured by the most precise atomic clocks) when Brian reminded her that they got divorced because they didn’t get along and had different interests. I’m glad she’s not my lawyer. (“And isn’t true that you lied about seeing my client at the crime scene?” “Objection, your honor!” “Oh, never mind, he’s guilty anyway.”) Then, as Dr. Brian said his final good-bye to his ex, they engaged in a brief, post-marital hug, which Anna spied; this raised the spectre of that least exciting of romantic complications, the Big Misunderstanding. However, after another brief week, Anna had bought her beau’s explanation, and horrid, treacly bliss was restored. Unless Brian’s ex is lurking back at his place with a gun, it looks like smooth sailing until the wedding, which should take place sometime in 2009.

A couple of artistic notes: We all know about Anna’s chameleon-like nature, but the woman in the rightmost panel in the second row is not the same woman who’s in the other panels of this strip. That version of Anna seems to be thinking: “The collagen injections into my lips didn’t go so well, but I’m not sure how to react.” Meanwhile, “happy” isn’t how I would describe the good doctor’s expression in the leftmost panel of the bottom row. I believe the word that Anna is looking for is “smug.”

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Get Fuzzy, 2/4/05

See, this is why I was excited about the Sun getting Get Fuzzy. It’s also more proof that a strip can be good without depending on a specific punchline in the last panel that’s been elaborately set up in the lead-in panels (yeah, I’m looking at you, B.C.). Everything Bucky says in this strip made me laugh aloud. Keep up the good work, Pinky! (I also like it when Bucky calls Rob “Pinky.”)

Meanwhile, a quick recap of the serials, since there’s a lot of action going on: in Apartment 3-G, Lu Ann’s niece reveals that she has gotten herself knocked up (apparently, she’s fled to NYC because she’s heard it’s all full of “roadside” “gigs” who won’t judge her moral flaws); in Rex Morgan, M.D., Rex is being suspiciously nonchalant about the discovery of human remains in his backyard; in Mark Trail, Mark seems destined to swim to the safety of an oyster bar, where he sadly won’t be eviscerated by razor-sharp shark teeth; and in Mary Worth, Elaine, the third point in our suddenly interesting love triangle, shows up and offers to give the good Dr. Good a family (if you know what I mean) right then and there. This last incident gives the Mary Worth artists the opportunity to do what they love most, which is to draw arm hair. I offer this retrospective for your edification.

And finally, to start your weekend off, here’s a case of life imitating Gil Thorp:

Melee Erupts at Alabama Girls Basketball Game

“People were screaming and running,” Prattville cheerleader Cherish Cartee said. “Girls lost their cell phones. Keys got lost. It’s something I will never forget.”

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Mary Worth, 1/14/05

Can I lick your tonsils? Just askin’.

When I was trying to describe to my fiancée Gil Thorp’s fast-paced, breakneck pace (which is ten times more fast-paced and breakneck than the pace of an actual high-school basketball game), she remarked, “It’s like the anti-Mary Worth.” This is, I think, a pretty accurate assessment. In Gil Thorp, gender-equality-supporting pair Steve and Hadley went from awkward introductions to revolutionary power couple in three panels. Anna and Dr. Brian’s lip-locking reunion, meanwhile, has been in the works for nearly ten weeks.

This is as good a time as any to relay an exchange from the Golden Girls sent to me by faithful reader Luna:

Blanche: I love my comics. Every day, Marmaduke and Apartment 3-G.
Dorothy: I haven’t read Apartment 3-G since…1962.
Blanche: Oh, well, let me catch you up! It is later that same day…