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Is it COTW time again? You know it!

“I love how gently rumpled Les’s tie is. It seems to say everything about Les, about this strip … and about us all? The human predicament: gently rumpled.” –Greg

And your runners up! Also hilarious!

“Of course, ‘mouse’ is the Smiths’ code word for ‘meth,’ as their racing brains are being kept up all night by the sound of their own teeth-grinding.” –BigTed

“The ‘raise the roof’ poses of everyone at Drew’s party seems rather awkward. I wonder if Liza got them all to attend by pointing a gun at them.” –Mark B

“I’ve followed this unbroken line of arrows that say CONFERENCE ROOM 3 all the way down the hall, but this last arrow ends 18 inches away from anything. So where the hell is Conference Room 3? Oh, could it be this door marked CONFERENCE ROOM 3? Guess I’ll give it a shot.” –ks

“All right, let’s get this party started! Who wants a cup of cake?!” –Ned Ryerson

“Les has so many facets of his personality, to the point where they’re all bad. I mean, there’s Mopey Les, which you could almost feel sorry for, but there’s also Self-Righteous Les, Creepy Les, Creepy Womanizer Les…” –Pseudo3D

“Hair of yellow, dumb as jello; hair of black, terror’s back; hair of red … that’s the boring one, right?” –jayjaybear, on remembering which A3G girl is which

“It’s not that you have to be old to be a plugger, but when you’re casting around for things to bitch about, it helps to have more years to look back on through your distorted lens of nostalgia, grievance-based ideology, and suppressed rage.” –Walker of Dog

“I like to think the whole assembled crew is totally in on Liza’s batshit scheme. ‘Yeah, so Drew tried to break up with me like, a jillion times after our really awesome date, but I am so not having that, so let’s throw him a surprise third birthday party! That’ll show him! Something.’ ‘Okay, Liza, but if we do your thing you have to help me kidnap my ex’s kid. You’re relatively familiar with the layout of Chuck E. Cheese, right?'” –Violet

“So being paid ridiculous sums for writing trash is less fulfilling than running his own little nepotistic empire? I think the moral of this story is that it’s always better to dole out unearned favors than to receive them. Go figure.” –A New Day

“T is for Talk, which is what the assembled suspects will do, eventually, after Officer Torturedog introduces them to Tina the Shark.” –gleeb

“Any time Reeky Rat cheats at Battleship or whatever, Slylock Fox is all up in his grill. But this fucking elephant can just jack the rabbit’s ice cream, and all we’re supposed to care about is ‘T’ words? I call bullshit.” –Doctor Handsome

“It’s a tragedy that vampires always have to wear poorly fitting clothes.” –Mark B

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Ha ha, suckers, I’ve already left for my Memorial Day weekend, which means your COTW has arrived unexpectedly early!

“Wouldn’t layoffs in Milford be charmingly and anachronistically referred to as laydowns?” –Dood

And the also hilarious runners up!

“No, seriously, my handball league is scheduled to share the gym tonight. Where are we gonna play?” –js

“I don’t think our tax dollars should used to pay people to teach fat cats.” –Pozzo

“Tip o’ the day: If you’re gonna have sex with a coffee maker, be sure to use a filter. Let’s keep it safe out there.” –Sequitur

“It strikes me that there are probably dozens of considerably more organic scenarios in which this ‘I gain weight just thinking about food’ gag could have been just as effectively (i.e. not at all effectively) deployed, which leads me to suspect this may be some kind of sociological experiment to ascertain just how much shit people will take before the bloody revolution ensues.” –Violet

“So sure, Sarge is gay. But apparently Corporal Yo is a 10 year old who’s just teetering on the edge of puberty, and wants to know if the changes he’s going through are normal. ‘Do you ever get excited when you see a pretty girl? I think I’m growing hair in strange places.'” –Dan

“Can only web — one of them — unless I use — both hands. Not worth the — effort!” -AndyL

“Good realism in Trail today. I tell you, whenever I had to convince my parents that I actually had some free time and wasn’t, in fact, goofing off from school, I would just scream ‘MY CLASS WAS CANCELLED!’ That always sold it.” –Edgy DC

“It seems like everyone else is determined to ignore the dog-man’s boner in Pluggers, so I guess I’ll address it: ‘Answering machine messages about debilitating ailments are plugger phone sex.’ There, are you happy? I hate myself now.” -Doctor Handsome

“Ah, yes. Kicking Momma’s Ladder, one of Cab Calloway’s lesser-known works. The song is, of course, about smoking dope.” –Red Greenback

“Flamboyant boobs, nice derrieres, disdain for the laws of physics, no regard for plot continuity — I know I’m hooked. That Stan Lee is a genius and he’s laughing all the way to the bank.” –ArchieNemesis

“Pulsating, wild … um … uninhibited? Are you buying any of this?” –Chyron HR

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Damn it, I thought that since the Rapture was going to happen Saturday there was no point in bothering with the comment of the week Friday night, but 6 pm has come and gone and we’re all still here, so might as well put it up.

“I can’t be the only one reading resentment and spite into Doris’s dialogue in A3G, can I? ‘I won’t be able to leave until I throw this into the crowd? Fine. Here you go, assholes! Now get out of my way.’ I mean, why else would she toss the bouquet like that, overhand and facing forward? My guess is she deliberately threw it at Paul because she wanted to make the other ladies sad. Meanwhile, poor dim Lu Ann just says what she sees. Five minutes ago, it was ‘Paul! You ate food!'” –thebirdgirl

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I’m trying to imagine you with all those pretty girls, Killer, but my vision is obscured by a cloud of pepper spray.” –NoahSnark

“The mournful words from her companion’s mouth were merely a dull buzz to Elviney. She had seen the perversion of the man, pale and smelling of powder and chemicals. While this had turned Loweezy away, Elviney could barely resist its sick draw. She would be back for the still man-thing, under cover of night, and she would have her way with it.” –Katie Cunningham

“I love how the little narration box has no punctuation at all. Ordinarily, I feel like your main character being shoved violently (by … a stick, I guess) into a pit of undetermined depth would elicit an exclamation point, or even an ellipsis to broaden the suspense, but not even the inkers give a shit about Mark anymore. ‘Yeah, yeah, shoved in a pit, possible broken limbs or railroad spikes, we get it, pass the tequila.'” –els

“Oh for a speech bubble shouting ‘It’s about twenty feet deep! Suck it, Trail!'” –The McK

“Mary Worth: You know how sometimes, when you’re watching a movie or reading a book, you’re all on edge because you know the protagonist is making a terrible mistake, but other times, you don’t care, because the ‘protagonist’ deserves whatever pain he gets? This is the second thing.” –Cloudbuster

“Isn’t Pastor Tuttle notorious for mooching food and other subsistence items from his grindingly poor flock? Maybe his thoughts are just another means to his nutritional ends, as in, ‘I could tell you Brother Travis’ destination for another slice of pie.'” –Dood

“Mark’s underground prison seems brightly lit for a hole in the ground. Why doesn’t he just climb up the electrical conduit and escape?” –AhClem

“Drew doesn’t even realize he’s already on another date with Liza as they skate together in the hospital’s indoor physical therapy ice rink.” –sporknpork

“I know this isn’t revolutionary or anything, but for the record, Les Moore sucks. Why can’t his wife be alive and have him dead? Then we would know the book about Les’ Story would actually be entertaining because we get the thrill of knowing he dies at the end.” –Gene S.

“It would be cool if sunlight destroyed Martine and Morbius. But, this being the wimpy Spiderman strip, it’s more likely that sunrise will cure vampirism, leaving behind two mortified and very human ex-vampires. A scolding will ensue.” –Bill Thompson

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