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Were there many hilarious comments this week? Yes. Was this one the funniest? Maybe! It’s my pick, anyway.

“I saw Funky Winkerbean and was reminded how much I hate this sort of wordless padding. Then I saw Luann and was reminded that there is both fire and ice in Dante’s imagining of hell.” –Spunde

But judge for yourself, based on these runners up!

“‘Magical dreamland,’ nothing. Lois is sailing high on Vicodin and mojitos.” –Pope Buck I

“No, Paul’s mom — you need to make it seem like your voice is coming out of the puppet’s mouth.” –Chyron HR

“I have to admit I’m in awe of Mary Worth’s powers. Liza stalked Drew for months, but one quick lunch meddle from Mary and she’s completely disappeared. I mean it’s like she never existed. Like the lines in Mary’s forehead. She’s like botox for relationships.” –Mark B

“Leroy seems to be a chilling, future-tense mirror image of that poor kid. Few things could be more disturbing to a young child, especially while a cruel incidental Ziggy character looks on impassively from his cardboard-box fort.” –Doctor Handsome

“Oh, ye cats, Luann, not this again. Can’t we please go back to the Weenieworld sexual harassment plot? While both storylines will no doubt be rife with gag-inducing innuendo and maddeningly implausible behaviors and reactions, I don’t see how this one is going to measurably advance the noble cause of Brad’s suffering.” –Violet

“It looks like Da Judge and Constance are about to enact the world’s most boring porn scene, with Judge Parker falling asleep mid-coitus from too much cocoa while Constance pretends she’s being fucked by Matt Lauer.” –Frippin on the Krotz

“Judge Parker: ‘It’s your turn now.’ Constance: ‘What does that–‘ *HIT BY BUS*” –blah

“In the last panel the Judge looks ready to be added to Mt Rushmore, probably permanently replacing, say, Teddy Roosevelt (because isn’t that guy’s fifteen minutes up anyway?). ‘Just do justice to my manly chin, boys!'” –Greg

“Holy crap, Mary Worth even lectures herself in her own mind. She has no Off switch.” –captainswift

“Mary sensibly hurried to the doctor right after that marriage proposal by Dr. Jeff, just to make sure he didn’t give her cooties.” –Mardou Fox

“Mary’s so proud to have ‘DODGED A BULLET!’ I only wish Dr. Jeff were still within earshot.” –Écureuil Écumant

“Y’know, I’m not the expert outdoorsman and wildlife photographer that Mark is, but I can’t help but feel that the goose in question is not ‘getting out in that deep water,’ inasmuch as it is on land.” –Alter S. Reiss

“MARK! RELAX! GEESE FLOAT!” –word-doctor

“Since Canada geese aren’t sexually dimorphic and also don’t change plumage as they age, how does Mark know this goose is both (a) old and (b) a ‘fellow’? My guess is that behind the clumps of grass, there must be a copy of Modern Maturity and a bottle of ‘Just For Ganders’ feather dye.” –Perky Bird

“Sarah sighed. This old biddy was going to order a salad, water, top it off with pie and ice cream, and stiff her on the tip. Her eyes narrowed. What was that on her face? Was that a … seam? The dark line ran from her earlobe to her chin and as Sarah leaned in a bit closer she saw it, a chitinous limb slip out of the seam and beckon to her. As her gorge rose she barely had time to mutter excuses as she ran from the madness, out into the street, away from the diner forever. Mary gently pushed the claw back under her skin and smoothed away the seam. ‘Not yet, children, not yet,’ she whispered. ‘The stars are not right.’ She fixed a smile on her face. ‘Excuse me? My waitress has left.'” –Voshkod

“UH-OH, I THINK I MADE IT MAD BY YELLING AT IT! CLEARLY THE SOLUTION IS TO CONTINUE YELLING!” –Esther Blodgett

“Sometime in the near comic future, Quill and Luann will be doing it all the while saying its ‘not a date.’ However, more importantly, Gunther will be watching the sloppy sex ensue and will consequently turn into the Phantom of the Opera and haunt the high school basement with a 1980s era keyboard that only plays midi music.” –Government Cheese

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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“I love today’s Spider-Man because it shows that Newspaper MJ and Newspaper Peter are perfect for each other. She just comes home, plops down on the couch, and just passes out mid-soliloquy. I hope there’s a gas leak or something.” –Roto13

MUST GATHER STRENGTH TO ACKNOWLEDGE HILARITY OF RUNNERS UP

“Being the happiest man in Santa Royale isn’t the loftiest of ambitions. Having Wilbur Weston as your main competition isn’t setting the bar very high.” –Pozzo

“My favorite part of today’s FW is the look on Cayla’s face. I’ve never seen a less willing participant in a conversation — she looks like she’s being held to that porch swing by some sort of smugness-based sorcery.” –Navigator

“The ‘F’ the prof gave Les was followed immediately by a ‘You’ and probably occurred about 35 seconds into their first encounter.” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz

“‘I’d let you borrow the used car I own’? Is that the same as ‘my car?’ What kind of language communication are they speaking with their mouths?” –Mustang

“Also, forgive me if I’m out of the loop on this one, but isn’t the point of dressing for a Comic con to go dressed as some comic book character? Unless we’re willing to posit that Knute and Crystal are both aware that they’re really comic characters. But if that were true, surely the realization that they were characters in Luann would have long since driven them to a mutual suicide pact?” –Swordsmith

“There’s only one way to top a wacky diuretic joke like this. So now, in addition to the extreme heat, Americans need to be wary of Plugger enema jokes by the end of the week.” –gkl

“There’s something to be said for being the best at what you do, even if what you do is, like, completely terrible. Only Funky Winkerbean could render the protagonist’s decision not to behave like a vindictive, immature shitbag somehow depressing.” –Violet

“I love the way Spider uses the phrase ‘verbally assaulted.’ I think Spider’s a narc, man.” –bbofun

“It’s a metaphor, kid. Freedom is illusory.” –Dood

Mary Worth: “No, Jeff! Don’t start listing the reasons! And for God’s sake, don’t pull out the Powerpoint!” –Frank Lee Meidere

“Why not a paper tacked up on the wall with just the word ‘SPORTS!’ That would convey this is a manly little fellow interested in Sports!, and it would cover a wide range of activities, from ice dancing to MMA cage fights. SPORTS!” –anonymous

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Wait, did I talk about how hot it was last week? Well, it’s still hot, isn’t it? Anyhoo, here’s your comment of the week.

“Wait, Ziggy is a mammal? I hereby renounce my membership.” –BigTed

And the runners up! Very amusing!

“I was going to comment on the fact that self-serve gas stations are considered a modern development in Hi’s town. Then I got distracted by his grocery store purchases, which include two carrots, a quart of something beige, and an ostrich egg.” –Esther Blodgett

“How much to just listen? My wife will know me by the silence and heavy breathing!” –js

“I only wish this Archie was the start of an Inglorious Basterds homage which culminates in alternate history machine gun assassination of Jughead, history’s greatest monster.” –Dennis the Two and a Half Menace

“I find the Clean-Cut-Kids Gang’s plans for their loot to be kind of sweetly modest: ‘We’ll throw a big party! Heck, just by fencing the television sets, we can get the best plastic cups that money can buy! And no more buttercream frosting for us. It’s ganache all the way!'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I’m pretty sure Ziggy’s fish is just giggling childishly at the word ‘Dick.’ And he’s right, that’s by far the funniest thing that’s ever been in the strip.” –Doctor Handsome

“How does one sexually harass a Luann character? By telling them there’s more to sex than double entendres?” –Dan

“Tiffany and Toni, like Liz in FOOB, have naturally plump, pale, ‘Luscious Lips o’ Loveliness®’ because LOOK AT ME I AM ATTRACTIVE. Ann’s lips are dark because she wears lipstick. Like a WHORE.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Does Dr. Jeff realize he now has to go ahead and *hold* the fundraising dinner? ‘People have expressed interest … our work here is done!'” –ks

“Les is smirking because of the man’s effrontery: ‘Does he compare his love for his wife with the profundity of my passion for Lisa? What fools these mortals be! Does he know that when they make love, his wife closes her eyes and fantasizes that Chemosabe is me? Because every woman craves me and my sincerity!’ And fifty other sentences that express the fullness of Les’s self-absorption.” –Droopy Says

“I like to think that the jagged dividing line is actually trying to attack Lu Ann in today’s Apartment 3-G for her unbelievably boring dialogue.” –Alan’s Addiction

“So, while Alan is basking in a hero’s adulation for — what? falling on a giant bed and not dying? — our Baby-Killer Contract Babe is being strapped to a gurney and whisked off to Bellevue where she’ll be connected to a continuous IV drip of Klonopin and Haldol, spending the rest of her days counting the cracks in the ceiling and mumbling incomprehensibly to herself. And does Alan — who 10 minutes prior was telling said BBCB his life story to show her how much he cares about her — ask about her or show any curiosity over what might have taken place on the roof after his pratfall? No: he’s too busy defacing Fire Department property.” –Mudhead

“I finally caught up on the last week of Mary Worth. Why didn’t anyone tell me I missed absolutely nothing?” –Gene S.

Mark Trail: “I could watch this scene unfold for another couple days, easy. Wouldn’t it be great if Rusty became entrapped under the getaway van?” –ArchieNemesis

“I think we’re being too hard on Ann Eiffel. The poor woman is just looking for a little love and the fact that she is looking for it to happen with Brad DeGroot proves that she has either hit rock-bottom or is insane or something. She needs our sympathy, not our scorn.” –Terrapin

“You’re too late, Dr. Jeff … look at Mary’s skirt in panel one. Her heart belongs to Zorro!” –Mumblix Grumph

“‘Get in!’ ‘Uhm, no thanks, Mr. Toad. I’ve heard about your wild rides.'” –Dood

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Works In Progress: A webcomic full of grayscale and shenanigans. Good for your kidneys! (Note: Claims unverified. Read at your own risk.) Updates Tuesdays and Saturdays.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.