Post Content

Your comment of the week shortly, but first, a few items! You may have heard that several cartoonists, including the odd couple of Stephan Pastis and Jeff Keane, recently travelled to Iraq to visit U.S. troops there. Well, one of said troops, faithful reader MolyBendum, got to chat with the former (if not the latter). If you missed his report in the comments, check it out!

Also! I received the following intriguing note from faithful reader David Shea:

I stumbled across a discarded poster today, and I thought you might be interested in seeing it. It depicts Mark Trail in his usual outdoorsy pose, and Andy, or perhaps a tuft of grass, suggests that you should attend the Corn Tassel Festival in Gainesville.

The Gainesville in question is Georgia’s, where a crafts festival has been held annually since 1966. The festival was renamed in 1993 when someone someone bothered to look up the namesake, George “Corn” Tassel, and found out that his greatest claim to fame was being hung for killing a dude in 1830. The case involves some legal sketchiness, since the Cherokee Nation probably had jurisdiction and Georgia hung George while things were being appealed, but still, no one wants that downer at their crafts festival, and it’s now known as the Mule Camp Market. Either way: Mark Trail.

And! Faithful reader Nigerian Business Executive sent me a link to this hilarious collection of comics mashups, which I had somehow missed.

And now it’s that time again … time for … COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I imagine the phrase ‘Don’t worry, Tommie. You won’t win’ plays over and over in her head pretty much constantly. Having someone say it out loud is just redundant.” –BigTed

And the runners-up! Also hilarious!

“The thing that really annoys me about Slylock Fox, as well as Encyclopedia Brown, for that matter, is that all you have to do to solve a mystery is catch the disreputable-looking character in a lie. ‘Rodney Rat wasn’t retrieving repellent, he was stealing money.’ I mean, really. He could have any number of embarrassing reasons for being out of his tent. ‘Actually, Slylock, I was masturbating.’ ‘Actually, Mr. Fox, I was trying to get the lady-duck over there to do some videos for my new foot-fetish site, Web of Lies.‘” –teddytoad

“Slylock wearing a suit, deerstalker cap, and a cape even in the desert? Total prick move. You’re not a superhero. You’re not even a lawman. You have no badge or license. You’re a rat-persecuting maniac, who trails Reeky and Rodney across the world, blaming every crime in a ten-mile radius on them. No wonder they’re reduced to living in tents.” –Strangefate

“I, for one, would like to know why the rabbit man is about to hand Rodney Rat a pair of trousers.” –ArtisticPlatypus

“I noticed today that Leroy Lockhorn’s feet are at least as long as his legs. Given these freakish new proportions (ultra short legs, rotund shape, giant nose, etc.), I can only assume that Leroy is secretly The Penguin. This can only improve the comic, as repeated guest appearances by Batman, increased explosions, and testing the latest umbrella-weapon on Loretta have vast entertainment potential.” –Alan’s Addiction

“After Tommie gets her makeover on I Dressed In the Dark, she’ll be ready to co-star in Margo’s new reality series, I Really Deserve a Punch In the Throat.” –Patrick

“Tommie needs the more intensive makeover offered by I Will Die Alone Then Be Eaten By My Dozens Of Cats.” –Ed Dravecky

“Reveal: I Dressed In the Dark will turn out not to be a makeover show. It’s a hard-hitting documentary about street people, and the producers have been humoring Ruby in the belief that she is queen of the hobos.” –Tim Cavanaugh

“I can’t believe that Cathy did something meta. Now meta has been ruined for everyone.” –Nekrotzar

“I am looking carefully at panel three and admiring the evidence that even campfire smoke obeys Mark’s mighty will. At ordinary campfires, smoke insists on rising and even gets in people’s eyes. This smoke, not wanting to be punched, cowers low.” –Poteet

“The only reality show Ruby and Tommie should audition for is I Dressed Under the Full Glare of Florescent Lighting.” –Victoria Dunn

“When I see someone with outspread arms, an expression of agony, and a glow around his head, I assume I’m looking at a crucifix. Duncan’s other big secret, apparently, is that he is the Son of God, dying for the sins of the world. I am baffled by this plotline.” –sarahtheawesome

“I love the jump to the third panel, where Gil is relating the conversation to Mrs. Thorp. ‘So he’s all, I’m laying bare my emotional distress to you, blah blah, my brother’s in jail and I cry all the time, waaaah. Poor kid, right? It’s all he can think about and absolutely no one gives a shit. Especially not me.'” –Mollie

“Ruby says Tommie’s clothes are ‘just’ boring. Just? Ruby, honey, Tommie’s got boring down to an art. She took a vow of extreme boring many years ago and has been a faithful practitioner ever since. She’s a professional bore-meister. If Tommie suddenly stripped naked and started humping the sofa arm, the only notice anyone would take is to straighten the doily.” –Farley’s Revenge

“I’m not entirely convinced that Duncan’s brother is actually incarcerated. To me, it looks more like Duncan is just experimenting with a new, hip alternative to the classic ‘In my pants’ joke, leading to some wacky misunderstandings when people take him seriously — IN PRISON!” –yuudai

“Why do I find Bernice sexy? Because she is unattainable? I better discuss this with my therapist later.” –LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL

“I like Gil’s dim awareness of Duncan’s family situation. ‘Davey, right? I have vague memories of fucking up another Daley’s life six or seven years ago. It’s all a blur. Every year, they come to me poised at the brink of manhood, loaded with testosterone, and highly vulnerable to bad decisions. I should try and help steer them, but I’ve got the playdowns to worry about. Speaking of which, Dunc, how’d you like to kill Marty Moon for me?'” –Edgy DC

“Why is Ziggy even in the hospital in the first place? He looks fine. And by ‘fine,’ I mean more or less how I would assume a squat, bald dwarf with no pants on should look.” –Indichik

“What the heck kind of a prison is that? Karate prison?” –the good ship thetis

“Lousy joke aside, I am glad Ziggy is finally addressing his anal leakage problem. As is every one else who rides the bus.” –NoahSnark

“Duncan Daley is clearly exploiting his brother’s predicament as a path to realizing his bicurious identical twins fantasy. Croquet indeed, boys; break out those mallets! Meanwhile, Jailbird Daley provokes a guy who regrets patronizing Prince Valiant’s barber.” –Jessie

“Mud? In Dennis the Menace? Oh, I wish that were mud, but we both know that’s not true.” –Victor Von

“I like the fact that in deference to the elderly (the last demographic on Earth who read Rex Morgan non-ironically) the narration box refers to the escapees as an ‘older’ couple, rather than using a more straightforward terms such as ‘old,’ ‘cogerish,’ or ‘overly entitled Alzheimer-crazed gatecrashers.'” –Jake Morgendorffer

“Just so everyone’s clear, Mark refers to his left and right fist as ‘The Rangers.'” –Digger

“I was so taken with the new FW mission statement in panel three that it took me all day to realize that I don’t really give shit what happens to Cory.” –C. Havoc

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

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Post Content

Your comments of the week coming shortly, but first, the inevitable items! The first, and most unsettling, comes from faithful reader Thomas Treasure. Did you know that, in the early ’50s, you could purchase a real honest-to-God radioactive Atomic Energy Lab for your kids? And that the possible benefits of the new atomic science were extolled by major comics characters in an accompanying comic book, Dagwood Splits the Atom? Thomas nicely encapsulates why I find the concept of a nuclear-armed Bumstead clan so disturbing:

Kim Jong-Il is the devil we know. Communist, egomaniac, loves him some opera. Dagwood Bumstead, we’ve had an open line to his everyday life for more than 75 years, but we still only know the most superficial things about him. So many questions remain: Why does he still wear a tuxedo when he’s poor and has been cut off by his wealthy family for so long that all of his original tuxedos surely must have worn out? Why doesn’t Blondie Boopadoop Bumstead still dress like a “flapper”? Who’s the narrator who knows so much about Dagwood in this gem, and can he answer these questions for us?

Then there’s this charming photo from faithful reader rocketbride:

“Although Margo would never be caught dead caring for the youth of others,” rocketbride says, “she might seize on the opportunity to impart her wisdom in managing conflict for gain. Also, note the mood ring: dead black.”

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“So Maggot is raising his son in a French Foreign Legion outpost in the blistering desert of North Africa, and the kid wears a down parka? Is anyone even trying?” –gnemec

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Is it possible that we’re simply reading Apartment 3-G wrong and what seems to be a little flirting over mutant avocado mangoes is actually the cover code-conversation of Resistance operatives in an occupied nation during World War II? Note how careful Aristotle and Gabriella are to keep their eyes on everything in the world other than each other. They know if they’re caught there’s no hope for the raid on Navarone.” –Chip Whittle

“At first, I thought the joke in Crankshaft was about bus drivers committing theft. It’s actually about bus drivers inflicting property damage. I totally get it now.” –littlefox

“Future nurses? Ha! Nobody in Westview has a future.” –Ed Dravecky

“Today’s Marvin got me so hopeful that an extraterrestrial might abduct Marvin and rid him from our lives. Then I realized that they would return him immediately after the disgusting results of the anal probe.” –Sister Sestina

“Dr. Jeff should have a idea balloon above his head: ‘MAYBE IF I LEAVE MY GREEN DINNER JACKET WITH SCOTT HE WILL REWARD ME WITH PICS OF HIS PAPPY WHEN HE WAKES UP.'” –mr 12 oz can

“Despite years of idiot man-child blundering against foes who are usually much better-equipped (and usually smarter) than him, Mark always comes out ahead. However, if they all share the common inability to distinguish ‘unconscious’ from ‘dead,’ we may be on to something. Besides an inability to know when Mark is permanently down, it’s possible these villains have an innate fear of sleep, confusing it with death. This naturally wears down their reserves so that Mark only has to stay alive a few weeks before his enemies simply drop from exhaustion. It’s possible he doesn’t even have to hit them very hard to achieve the effect.” –Alan’s Addiction

“The official Pluggers P.O. Box is closing. I shudder to think what exactly the unofficial Pluggers P.O. Box was.” –Rob

“We all know he’s just going to pray for him, or ask him to get well for Adrian’s sake, or, most cloying and therefore most likely, give Detective Scott his consent to marry his daughter. And, of course, this will instantly cure him, because nothing brings someone out of a coma like nausea.” –Helena Handbasket

“Pluggers grew up in a food chain shot through and through with strontium-90, which explains a lot about pluggers’ considerable genetic irregularities.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Pluggers remember when BM stood for Bowel Movement … and they remember how they weren’t always a half hour long.” –PeteMoss

“I think the simplest explanation for Dr. Jeff heading back in to the room is that he just wanted to take a couple of hits off of the morphine drip so that he could face lunch with Mary and his daughter.” –Saluki

“What’s Gil doing with his hand in panel 2? The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that he’s indicating Murph Wolman’s height, but if his hand is at 5’9”, Gil is a good seven feet tall. Then again, since Murph’s heart is apparently 5’2” and about 170 pounds, I guess anything’s possible.” –Steve S

“A bolded, different font, all-caps adjustment is the only way characters in Mark! Trail! can communicate genuine excitation or emotion anymore. I can’t wait until one of these poachers is eaten by an alligator and the only way the letterer is going to be able to communicate a genuine scream will be to insert a gift-card-style sound chip into every newspaper in America.” –Black Drazon

“Sideburns Guy isn’t asking if Mark is a ‘wildlife’ man (as in one who is an expert on nature). He’s asking if he’s a ‘wild-life’ man (as in one who lives a very wild life). Perhaps he’s thinking that a guy who could escape a gator devouring might well be the sort of dude he’d want to party with. That would be an interesting turn of events, as partying with Mark and family would be a far harsher punishment than whatever the law would hand down for poaching.” –Digger

“In the last panel Hi and Lois display the blissed out smile that can only be achieved through a perfect combination of denial and pharmaceuticals.” –NoahSnark

“Mark’s worn that blazing pink shirt in Sunday matinees before. All his other khakis from the week are dirty or pungent or have lost their sharply pressed creases, so on Sundays Mark wears the shirt Cherry washed with a load of her own shirts and hysteria.” –True Fable

“Would you like me to follow your every movement? With my penis?” –commodorejohn

“ALL animals are murderers, but only the shrike does it with pizazz.” –tb4000

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

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Post Content

Your comments of the week momentarily, but first, some items! I wish to begin by pointing your attention to the New Yorker Cartoon Lounge’s take on the upcoming Archie nuptials. It made me laugh! Is this how William Shawn and Dorothy Parker would have wanted this beloved publication to enter the Internet age? Probably!

Next, I present the final rounds of what would Margo Do bracelet pics! First up is from faithful reader Alfred E. Newman. “I got my wife to photograph me during my daily Pledge of Allegiance to the Comics Curmudgeon!”

Next comes a pic from faithful reader the Ridger. “I’ve often thought that Margo’s favorite superhero would be Buttercup, the amazingly mean Powerpuff Girl. Also, that Buttercup might love Margo.”

Finally, faithful reader exspecialagentstarling offers this ominous photo. “Decisions decisions. What Would Margo Do?”

And now … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I wonder if it would be possible to reproduce the ‘This is MY crib!’ panel of Rex Morgan in the form of a welcome mat. I wonder about it a lot.” –peabody

And your runners up! Very funny!

“9CL: Edda’s friend understands that by asking for mime and making bland, encouraging comments, she can get Edda to shut up. She’s not even really looking. ‘Jeepers’ is what you throw into a conversation when you’re tying to pass the Turing Test as lazily as possible.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“In panel two, I am fairly sure that Lisa’s ghost is near a bush, watching to see if Les does, indeed, spread the jelly right to the edge.” –Comics Fan

“I can see why Cherry decided to stay home if Mark’s idea of an enjoyable vacation involves being beaten unconscious.” –Darkefang

“You see, Kayla, the one time Lisa didn’t spread the jelly all the way to the edge she ended up pregnant and then dead. How sad if that were to happen to you.” –Gary

“I think Tommie’s wistful sigh in panel three is indicative of the thought process, ‘I would give anything to upgrade my emotional status to lonely and unloved.'” –Violet

“Moments after the picture was taken, this plugger ate his own overalls.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Poor unemployed Bob relies on fish caught from a swamp to feed his family. Now Mark brings Rusty to the swamp to (1) catch the fish that Bob otherwise would eat, (2) derail Bob’s only opportunity to earn some money by joining the poachers, and (3) eliminate poaching, thereby allowing the population of alligators to explode and the population of fish to vanish. Thanks a heap, Mark! Now, why don’t you and Rusty come over to Bob’s cabin, eat a heaping meal to clean out his meager pantry, and then molest his daughter.” –seismic-2

“That’s weird. Pluggers generally has nothing to do with the species of its title characters, who usually seem to be fired theme-park workers who couldn’t get out of the costume.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Does it make me weird that I’m way more terrified of the thought of grody, gut-length old-man beards than some horrific goat-human-demon hybrid? I don’t think so. I think it only means I’m more aware of how microbial pandemics work than most people.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Pantsless Ziggy sitting on me? I’d start the suicide countdown lower than nine.” –Johnnycakes

“Billy isn’t wrong in his math. There can be only one driver’s license in the Keane family (no women need apply, naturally), and it’s that many days until the ritual death by stoning of Daddy Bil.” –Steve S

“Too bad I didn’t adopt Margo as a role model decades ago. I’d either be president of a television network or, perhaps, in jail.” –ladadog

“Dude, Tommy is blissed-the-fuck-out. Thankfully, I don’t remember the age when sitting in a literally steaming dump was so satisfying, but … he makes a compelling case.” –teddytoad

“Seeing as how the hospital parking lot is filled with nothing but hearses, I’d say Scott’s chances probably aren’t fantastic.” –it’s time to pay the price

“I comforted many violent crime victims’ families over the years! Now I’m on the other side! I’ll be the one committing the violent crime! These claw-like fingernails are the only lethal weapon I need!” –Nekrotzar

“Not content with pioneering the concept of a couch potato hero, this strip now shows us a couch potato villain. When they meet for their battle, what will they fight over? The remote?” –Larry Fine

“Look at how sinister Crock looks in the first panel. It’s like he’s tainted the food with some kind of incredibly painful stomach flu and is taunting his poor elderly mother over the phone about it. ‘How was the food on your senior cruise, MOM?? Enjoying the bloody diarrhea? Hahaha! That’s for birthing me in to this ill-begotten universe of scribbles, you dried up old bag!'” –zamros

“Oh, I pray that Scott’s going to be all right. If only it hadn’t taken three whole days to get through these doors, we might already know!” –Black Drazon

“Crock is perfect for people who love fort-based humor but can’t follow the convoluted plots of F-Troop and can’t grasp the character nuances of Walker, Texas Ranger.” –Ed Dravecky

“Bounced checks aside, it looks like Ted’s investment in mood-altering drugs was a good one.” –NoahSnark

“I take comfort in the fact that, no matter what the plot happens to be, the artists responsible for Mary Worth will take the time to lovingly render a drop ceiling in at least one panel.” –Patrick

“Ted’s habit? Three words: banned Thundercats erotica.” –commodorejohn

“MW: Now, I’m no doctor, but I always figured an arm sling was specifically to help keep the arm lightly in place while sitting or walking or being, you know, upright in some way. A sling does no good on a patient who is laying down. It’s true! Try it yourself! It offers no support; it will just hang limply if you are laying down, which is probably something Mary and Jeff are intimately familiar with OH GOD WHY DID I JUST GO THERE” –Sheila Sternwell

“I can’t wait til we get to Bobbie’s Big Reveal, when she yanks the blond wig off and it’s the bald guy who’s been scarin’ the oldsters in Rex. Or the bald guy from the Mary Worth shootout. What I’m saying is … the chick’s a dude, man, and I don’t think he’s got no hair.” –MolyBendum

“I love Doctor Whositz. Especially the episodes where he battles the Dalekmacallits.” –Ringo Beaumont III

“Silly Josh, Ted already owns the Star Wars holiday special. The money is going towards bribing Lucasfilm to allow the special’s characters to be released as action figures. Ted will never be happy without a plastic Bea Arthur singing bartender in his collection.” –McPerson

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.