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Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.

OK OK OK! Twice a year while subbing for Josh, I try to raise a little extra cash to say “Thanks!” for the fine entertainment, and to help with the operation of the site. Two things are new this time around. First, your generous contributions will help pay for the site’s extensive design upgrade, now underway. Second — and for the first time ever — every contributor, of any amount, will receive a gift in grateful gratitude for your generosity: this fashionable and unique bracelet, inscribed “What would Margo do?” Behold:

Lovingly crafted by the willowy jeweler-maidens of exotic Nan An Town, GaoYao City, each bracelet is medical-grade silicone, recessed and filled with the inscription “What Would Margo Do?”, and lightly embossed with “www.joshreads.com” on the inside. And yes, it glows in the dark.

What will you do, inspired by the message and spirit of Margo? The possibilities are endless, terrifying, and of course often illegal:

  • Wear it ’round the house, and watch your roommates scramble to do your bidding!
  • Wrap it ’round your Fist of Justice, to emboss hairy evildoers with a message they’ll never forget!
  • Wear it to bed, to baffle and intimidate your partner!
  • Touch it whenever you feel lonely or insecure — then rip a hole in the universe, and make it your bitch!

Just click the banner at the top of the page, then follow the instructions to contribute by credit card or PayPal. Write me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you prefer to contribute by check or money order. Sorry, just one bracelet per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 40 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

Finally, in honor of the Margo-themed fundraiser, this week features “Margo Moments” — Josh’s personal stash of Margocentric panels (Sanitized® — for your protection!), stretching back to the dim, misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Think of it as Apartment 3-G without all the boring Tommie and LuAnn bits! Here goes:

Margo Moments – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1


Apartment 3-G (panels) — 12/29/2004, 2/21, 6/21, 8/21, 11/13, 12/17/2005, 01/17, 2/20, 3/4/2006

Ahhh, that’s our gal.

— Uncle Lumpy

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I don’t select the Comments of the Week (not worthy!), but good news: Josh assembled these gems before high-tailing it for parts unknown! Here is your weekly top comment!

“A lot of people may regard Hi and Lois as pretty conventional, but I for one have never seen a couple of non-junkies so consistently committed to ignoring their baby.” –Violet

And here are your runners up!

“Scott is killed by a heroin dealer, but is able to get a shot off before the sweet sweet Charterstone-free eternal sleep envelops him. The critically injured dealer is rushed to the hospital where Adrian is faced with the moral dilemma — do I let him die or do I accept his invitation for drinks and a movie?” –Uncle Ritzy-Fitz

“And yeah, and what’s-her-face is totally using this to try to get into Les’s pants. I would express disapproval, but actually getting into Les’s pants will be punishment enough.” –Cliff Arroyo

“That traditional Milford bonfire is of Gil’s house by everyone he’s screwed over. Marty DeJong was just a little early this year.” –Steve S

“And I think Archie should just go ahead and reboot as a funny animal strip if that’s what they want to draw. Go ahead, let them get married, say ‘OK, that’s it!’, and the next morning they’re all squirrels. I believe it’s what nature intends.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“YO TOM BATUIK, I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, AND I’MMA LET YOU FINISH DEPRESSING THE MASSES ON A WEEKLY BASIS, BUT SPAMALOT IS ONE OF THE BEST MUSICALS OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.” –Ace

“Ah, nothing like a good witch burning to kick off the football season.” –zerowolf

“Toni’s turnaround was clearly Day One of Brad’s schizoid break with reality. Hope the real Toni is still alive.” –Marion D

MW: I love the ‘Cartel Update’ pamphlet. I prefer to think that the police merely intercepted the drug cartel’s weekly newsletter. ‘Not only have they changed warehouses, but it’s big Pauly’s birthday! Be sure to wish him a hearty congratulations as you arrest him.'” –Citric

“Ah, Brad, once again you stand in for all humanity. Who amongst us does not have erotic daydreams involving our best friend and our father?” –neographite

“On the plus side, though, it seems that Brad can’t even create non-Toni people who care about him. High-five, universe!” –cj

“Grandma Keane just wants to know where her goddam flying car is. She was promised one.” –yellojkt

“When Grandma says the future just isn’t what it used to be, she should know. After all, she’s a time traveller who came here from a wonderful future where we all live in enlightened peace and harmony. However, during her time travels, she accidentally killed a mosquito, and … well, that’s how we end up living in a post-apocalyptic hell with President Jeffy.” –Perky Bird

“It’s nice of Brad to envision a world where TJ has been cured of his chronic case of lockjaw.” –zamros

“Weren’t JAMARR, DEONTE, DIEHL and BAUZA the clues in today’s Jumble?” –Dancing Bear

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

  • Passion. History. Blood. : A vampire time travels to 18th-century France to kill the man she once loved before he infects her. But the guillotine threatens and so do his secrets. “Few combine a sensual romance within a supernatural thriller as well as Squires.” — Midwest Book Review.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Your comment of the week coming shortly! But first, a bit of news and a request for help! The much anticipated/dreaded redesign of this site is ALREADY UNDERWAY, off in some designer’s lab somewhere. I’ve taken your suggestions to heart — it will be kept simple, and there will be no threaded comments, in keeping with the pretty firm majority view. I’d also like to include some folks as beta testers, to look at a mock-up version of the site once we’re pretty far along in the process, and test things and make sure that they work as they’re supposed to. I am grateful for anyone who wants to help, and am particularly looking for people with older computers or nonstandard setups (dialup, small screens, etc.). This will not involve much work on your part — poking around the test site a bit, posting some test comments, providing some feedback; shouldn’t take more than half an hour or so. The design probably will be ready for testing in mid-to-late September. If you’re interested, please email me at bio@jfruh.com, and please let me know what operating system (e.g., Windows Vista, Windows XP, Mac OS X, Linux) and Web browser (e.g., Internet Explorer, Firefox) you use, and how fast your Internet connection is (e.g., dialup, DSL, cable). We only probably need maybe 20 people or so, so I’ll probably make a note here if I get overwhelmed with responses.

And now … your comment of the week!

I hope those poachers don’t come after us. And speaking of danger, what happened to that alligator you just freed? Aaaugh, my bottom half!” –BigTed

And your runners-up! Also funny!

“What really creeps me out is that the only reason I can see for Marvin fantasizing about telling his mom not to wear a slutty dress was … that he was in time out for dressing in a slutty dress. And crapping on it, of course.” –rhymes with puck

“Maybe Jeffy aims to be Ziggy when he grows up.” –gnome de blog

“Is … is Jeffy eating his severed hand?” –AeroSquid

“The entire Keane family has been wedged into the scene, save Grandma and Kittycat the cat. Maybe I’ve missed something, and those two characters have died. Or maybe Jeff Keane assumes that in scenes of family tragedy, the cat and Grandma will be where they always are, asleep under the bed.” –Li’l Bunnë FooFoo

“In buying Adrian a ring, Scott has deferred his dream of owning a second suit — one that’s not Irish Setter colored — for a few years.” –Old School Allie Cat

“I’m really hope that the idiotic roller coaster that is Adrian’s love life will continue to come up every other story in Mary Worth. First there was Ted the grifter and unsubtle thought ballooner. Next comes the paternally approved Scott who will get himself in a boring legal mess when it’s discovered that in an attempt to keep up with his early promise to financially take care of Adrian, he stole a pathetically small diamond ring from evidence. Finally she will discover the perfect man from well bred stock who was right in front of her all along: her own brother. Together they will create children with a penchant for bad haircuts, checkerboard suit coats, and an overestimation of their charismatic skills. Sadly, the Corey family tradition of doctors who all work in the same hospital will end, as obviously such children will be an abomination and will have the mental capacity of a spoon.” –Hinako Sensei

“All kids *do* have a chance to enjoy the outdoors, Rusty, because unlike you, most of them have figured out how doorknobs work.” –Pozzo

“JEANS would seem to indicate a specialized boutique, no doubt selling denim abominations for $169 per pair and up. That may best a mall, depending on your standards. The only place at which Cathy and Irving ought to be shopping for apparel, however, is BODY BAGS.” –Fran Ledue Page

“I would like to know who this old dude in Phantom is, and how he escaped from the world of Conan the Barbarian. That’s the only other place in literature (in existence, really) where the concept of hooded, sleeveless robes makes sense.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Man, Morrissey’s really let himself go.” –UnknownEric

“This would either make an excellent three-panel in Blondie or six months’ worth of story in Apt. 3G.” –Dingo

“Even as our country struggles with the question of whether what was previously considered illegal search and seizure, warrantless wiretapping, and even internationally recognized forms of torture can ever be acceptable to defend the country against stateless terrorism, Judge Parker advocates that all of these powers be deployed to prevent celebrities — or wealthy and attractive people generally — from being inconvenienced.” –Master Softheart

“Our plugger friend should have waited to see whether the basic Electronics Store 2009 Catalog would meet his needs before ordering the deluxe, leather bound edition.” –Duke of Earl Grey

“‘When you feel ready, you can wear it! Meanwhile, I’ve fused our hands into a hideous multi-fingered knob!’ Tomorrow: Charley arrives on the scene. ‘I’ll give you a knob for adults! If you know what I mean!'” –Dragon of Life

“If this guy is so patient, why ask her to get married so quick? Was kissing her floating head on a park bench that great? I mean, the other guy got 50 thousand out of her for calling her Queenie — I guess you’re going for a 100 Gs and Dr. Jeff’s green going-out-to-dinner jacket.” –mr 12 oz can

“We seem to have interrupted Wolverine in the middle of his tai chi exercises.” –corinthian

“Oooooh! ‘Operation H-Town’! How exciting! But since this is Santa Royale, I’m sure the ‘H’ stands for ‘hors d’oeuvres’.” –mojo

“I’m surprised that a video of Marvin suffering and crying would only get 50000 hits. I would watch it that many times just by myself.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“Mark Trail sure is an expert on what is illegal. That’s just one of the benefits of being a proud graduate of the Commit Felony Assault School of Law.” –NoahSnark

Dick Tracy: In the last month, a trapeze chick died and Dick talked about it. That’s it. This makes Rex Morgan look like Transformers II.” –MolyBendum

“Look, Sandman, if you’re going to lie around on the beach, secretly ogling the muscled thighs of passer-by, you’re going to have to deal with a little sand in the face. That’s how it works.” –edp

“Are we sure this isn’t Susan’s latest attempt to win Les’ affections? ‘Look, it’s all about death and cancer! You LOVE death and cancer!'” –Mela

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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