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Your COTW momentarily, but first, I must once again point you in the direction of blog post from Margaret Shulock, writer for Apartment 3-G. Not only is Shulock the mind behind the A3G storylines and one of the six chicks of Six Chix, she’s also, as this post revealed, one of the writers for Snuffy Smith! Mind-bogglingly, this blog post shows that Snuffyisms sometimes start drifting into the A3G world, and, in this follow-up comment, reveals that she knows all too well how terrifying Margo Magee is. (Thanks to faithful reader Greg for the tip!)

Ahem! And with that, here is your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Is there some reason why Daddy Keane spends his week off standing around at home, wearing a coat and tie, yelling at his spouse? Maybe I’m misunderstanding. Maybe Billy doesn’t mean ‘off’ as in ‘off work,’ but as in ‘do these leftovers smell a bit off?'” –wagmore barkless

And the amusing runners-up!

“Kudos to Mr. Woody Wilson for this delightfully silly story. However, he missed a wonderful opportunity. With better timing, Godiva could have made her entrance at cheerleader tryouts riding a horse, just like her namesake. We wouldn’t have to cringe at her ill-fitting capri pants.” –Fashion Police

“‘Let’s not grow old’? Sorry, Garfield’s schtick grew old some time during the Reagan administration.” –sully

“Why is Shannon such an apparently angry child? Because she’s drawn poorly? Because the ‘fun afternoon’ cousin Toni promised is ‘visiting’ with a banged-up invalid? Because Brad doesn’t have cable?” –bats :[

“The theme of this week’s Family Circus is the Keanes’ inevitable decline into homelessness. Tuesday was the revelation of the empty bank account. Wednesday, Daddy is kicking snack machines in order to get free groceries. By Friday, the Keanes will be living in their car, with Jeffy firmly locked in the trunk.” –Elizabeth Helena

“In today’s Wild Kingdom of Suburbia, the mother soothes her daughter’s nerves by picking the nits out of her hair. This is a gesture of affection between primates and not at all creepy.” –Li’l Bunnë FooFoo

On “sexting” in Gil Thorp: “Maybe there’s a more appropriate term better suited to this plot. PG-thirteening? Textitlating? Annoying?” –PeteMoss

“Now look, you two, we all know the human body is an eldritch, terrifying thing, but as gym teachers I figure you two are the closest I have on staff to understanding it. Please deal with the charges of mild nudity that have been brought to my attention while I sit here learning new portmanteaus from the Internet. ” –Black Drazon

“Add ‘unusually strong wrists’ to Delilah’s list of accomplishments (right under: ‘is prodigy’). I’ve never seen anyone hold an entire galvanized bucket full of the severed fingers of children at quite that angle.” –Jeremiah

“If we want to talk about felonies, does Dr. Pearl know that two of her coaches are knowingly attempting to give the entire baseball team hyperthermia?” –Alan’s Addiction

“That first panel in Gil Thorp is so full of despair. Letter-M t-shirt guy sits next to a girl crying into her giant ravioli. Maybe it’s because they only have mucilage to drink.” –Patrick

“‘Where’s Town Park Beach?’ ‘Down behind Town Park Beach Hill, just follow Town Park Beach Road.’ ‘Ah, next to Town Park Beach Park!’ Well, at least they’re concrete. Herb and Jamaal would call them all ‘Noun Noun Noun Noun’.” –5-Sigma Freud

“Finally, headway has been made for a Family Circus-themed video game. ‘Bil Keane’s Pro Skater’ is slated to hit shelves December 14, 2009. I’ve got a lawn chair and a blanket, ready to camp out on the sidewalk along my nearest Best Buy. Black dashed line Easter Egg, bitches!” –Thorzul

“Meanwhile Lu Ann is, predictably, baffled and terrified by the phone’s evil magic. ‘When are you coming home, baby?’ [Crickets.] ‘But, I AM home … Ruby?!? Is that you? Where’s Tommie? How’d you get in the little box with TOMMIE?!'” –boojum

“In the first pic, ‘Daddy’s’ actually surprised at the news of his cuckoldry; in the second, he’s grown accustomed to it. ‘Yes, that’s your mother’s cult leader, alright.'” –Rock Ripsnort

“It’s kind of sad that Billy (age 7) has a better grasp on actual human body proportions than either his dad or his creator. Maybe years of sneaking peeks at daddy’s secret magazines and a house with no mirrors (or ‘devil glass’) has actually taught him an artistic skill, which shall be beaten out of him once the pastor is summoned.” –walty

“My God, Crankshaft is the most likable character in this strip! I wish I could jump into the strip and do something really offensive on their kitchen floor. You wanna act horrified? I’ll give ya something to be horrified about!” –Donald the Anarchist

“What’s a ‘tramp stamp’? Does it have something to do with ‘sexting’? Did Time or Newsweek happen to write about this?” –teddytoad

“I love how the Hitler family is too afraid of Maramduke to clean up the growing pile of picnic baskets, despite the potential attention of the police. Perhaps they hope a SWAT team will finally take down the beast. They are wrong.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“The artists at Mary Worth must own dogs. The expression she wears, the angle of her head when she asks Delilah what’s stopping her, is identical to that of a basset hound who walks in on a couple having sex.” –NoahSnark

“I’m constantly amazed that anyone in Funky Winkerbean would name their child something as upbeat as Summer when there are far bleaker and more depressing seasons available.” –Carrie

“Wow, Mary Worth. Way to jump right into someone’s personal business. ‘Larry and I wanted to have children of our own.’ ‘What’s stopping you? ARE YOU BARREN?'” –Mdgoldrush1984

“I can’t ask him to stop … but I can make him, by stabbing him with this eating utensil.” –Carly

“I must figure out how to enlarge that second panel with Mary’s face and print it out so I can put it on my fridge. I can feel the pounds dropping off now.” –Poteet

“So, Delilah’s favorite dish is ‘chunks.’ Toby prefers briquettes, while Jeff likes slabs. Put them together, and you’ve got the combo meal at the Olive Garden in Hell.” –gkl

“Beetle Bailey gives us a whole strip full of punching/eating puns, yet there’s not a single mention of the ‘knuckle sandwich.’ What have these guys been doing all these years, if not memorizing the language of vicious beatings?” –BigTed

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Hey kids! COTW in a moment, but first a Monday Fun Link! Do you like it when syndicated comics artists make fun of other syndicated comics artists? Obviously you do, which is why you should check out last week’s installments of the excellent Watch Your Head, if you haven’t already. Start with Monday’s and then move forward in time with the arrows! DO IT!

And now, your comment of the week!

“At first, I thought Margo was yawning at the news report, which is much more in character. ‘Yeah, yeah, lama, Tibet, whatever. Hmm — Eric Mills? Didn’t I used to know someone by that name?'” –Lawyerbob

And the funny runners-up!

“Let’s be more optimistic. By ‘hit,’ she could mean ‘rob at gunpoint.’ Maybe this is the plugger Bonnie & Clyde. After a succession of daring daylight robberies, they will return home to make love on a pile of stolen swag (beefy T’s, tube socks, giant sacks of peat moss), while being serenaded by the smooth, reassuring voice of Mr. Pat Sajak.” –Joe Blevins

“Pluggers, with an apparent lack of irony, can present the stultifying sameness of suburban consumer culture as if it were a blessing. It’s like they’re suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and their kidnapper was ennui.” –Mr. Majestyk

“Not only is ‘I am the Second Officer!’ the most hilariously braggadocio-filled attempt at intimidation EVER, it would frankly be much better suited to Spider-Man’s strip. Just imagine. Spidey takes a cruise because of the endless food and tons of lounge chairs free for the sittin’, but then must confront the evil Second Officer and his nefarious plan to … eh, whatever. Spidey would inevitably forget he had his suit on under his swim trunks and then have to undergo a week’s worth of wacky hijinks to conceal his secret identity. MJ would meanwhile have to star in the ship’s dinner theater after the lead actress breaks a leg. Then Spidey would defeat the Second Officer by accidentally spilling a mai tai on him. I … kind of want to read this now.” –MsMolly

“Today’s Archie is much funnier if we assume Mr. Lodge was ‘testing’ the water for hepatitis. Those chills are a side effect of their circulatory systems shutting down.” –It’s time to pay the price

“Who am I? I’m fucking awesome, Blondie, and that’s all you need to know. I’m ruggedly handsome yet mysteriously inobtainable. Now are you going to get your boss or do you want to watch breathlessly as I punch some random shit in your office?” –EdgyDC

“My dad revealed recently that he likes Crankshaft. A few days later, he mentioned that his newspaper runs in amongst the obits, which are especially large and numerous. I think this really shows the value of context and location.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“In a more audacious comic, this might be a setup for Luann to lose her virginity in a sheep pen. In this one, we’re just sort of left with a vague, lingering suspicion that Gunther already has.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“The smell of the fair is popcorn, crackerjack, wax lips and makeup, cotton candy machines, animal poo, diesel exhaust, and marijuana. There’s no smell like it.” –Jimmyleg Jehosephat

“Um, if ‘there will be no stirring of passions’ then why are you lubing up your knees? Just askin’.” –Judas Peckerwood

“I think you guys are being a little hard on Mary and her ‘temporary bobble in an otherwise sea of calm.’ To me she seems pretty lucid for someone on her seventh tequila sunrise. I’ll bet by tomorrow she’s gonna be all ‘You know what? Delia and Larvance can go fuck themselves! I’m going to astronaut camp! Why don’t you ever love me, Tony?'” –Violet

“Les: [Silence.] Funky: [Silence.] Les: [Polite cough.] Funky: ‘Um, did you just touch my hand?’ Les: ‘Maybe. Did you want me to touch your hand?’ Funky: ‘Maybe.’ Les: ‘Everyone who loves me dies.’ Funky: ‘Please stop touching my hand.'” –idathefossil

“Well, Josh, judging by Gramma’s heavy-lidded expression, I’d say the ‘it’ in question is heroin.” –Red Greenback

“My guess for tomorrow’s Funky Winkerbean is that Les and Funky discover that they’re trapped on the roof. Other characters, numbed by years of being in the comic strip, are unable to respond to the pair’s desperate pleas for help for a week. The next week Les and Funky eat the last pigeon egg from the nest in the clogged storm gutter and begin to hallucinate about dead people who they knew due to fatigue and malnourishment. The week after that, five straight days of folding chair battles and cannibalism.” –Birthmark Hal

“Note the intense concentration Dolly is giving Billy during his lecture. Since she can’t possibly understand what day it is, let alone grasp the concept of ‘tomorrow,’ I’m betting she is simply staring at his single nostril.” –True Fable

“Toby says she hopes Delilah doesn’t stay too long, because she wants her to reconcile with Lawrence. Hold on! Have we just witnessed Toby finally coming to realize that the more time anyone spends in Mary’s clutches, the less able they’ll be to resume any kind of normal human relationships? No wonder she’s taking a sudden trip to ‘Scotland,’ or wherever the deprogramming center actually is.” –BigTed

“I’m pretty sure Mary just put of coat of pink paint on some nuggets of dog crap and is making Toby not only eat them, but praise them and beg for more. I’d say it was all a sick game of Mary’s but is anything ever not some kind of sick game of Mary’s?” –Bryan

“The true malevolence of the seagull in MT can only be recognized when we realize that, with this being MT, the passing bird is endowed with the power of speech and therefore is perfectly capable of following the panel’s instructions for saving someone caught in the riptide by shouting out directions. Yet this flying monster chooses to pass in smirking silence, allowing our bikini’d victim to die horribly, out of sheer spite. I wouldn’t be surprised if the seagull took a moment to defecate on her head, to add insult to fatal injury.” –Nekrotzar

“Santa Royale City Ordinance 09-084: All interior paint, upholstery, items of clothing, and comestibles to be worn, possessed, or consumed by city residents shall be salmon-colored and/or salmon-flavored. Mustard-colored sofas are exempt from this rule.” –wagmore barkless

“At first I thought that the bolded first letters of each tip in this Mark Trail were meant to form some sort of acronym that might help hapless swimmers find their way to safety, but it seems more likely that ‘HHWODHII’ is the sound that our friend in the water is making as the sea claims another victim.” –Gerritt

“Shame on you, Mr. Magee! Although it gladdens our little pink heart that you are civilized enough to put on a necktie for a sixteen-hour airplane voyage, loosening it is worse than not wearing one at all. Where are your standards, sir?” –Fashion Police

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Your COTW momentarily, but first: for those of you who missed my Stoop Storytelling appearance (which I’m assuming is pretty much all of you, seeing as I didn’t announce it until after tickets were sold out, because I’m a loser), the audio from said story is now online, and you can listen to it here! (Note that the audio will play as soon as the page loads, so make sure that anyone within earshot wants to hear the harrowing tale of my Jeopardy failure before you click.)

Also, anyone who views Luann’s treatment of human sexuality with mingled fascination and horror ought to check out faithful reader yellojkt’s Creepiest Luann Contest.

And now … your comment of the week!

“Wait, are we sure that’s a spy in today’s installment of Crock? Because from the list of his grievances, I’m pretty sure they’re about to execute Andy Rooney.” –BigTed

And the hilarious runners up!

“Is anyone besides me wondering what Doc does in that lab? Make the crystal meth that’s required to tolerate a conversation with Mark and Cherry? Keep Rusty’s animated corpse chugging along? Engineer the giant squirrels?” –buckyswife

“Given the many, many times that we’ve seen Marmaduke and Mrs. Hitler getting freak nasty, I think it’s clear that Marmaduke has a very intense foot fetish. The coquettish feigned innocence is part of the foreplay. And I am deeply disturbed that the preceding two sentences came out of my brain.” –The Ghost of Jarrod

“I can also forgive myself for not realizing that the knock-kneed swoon of Marmaduke-lady was meant to convey coy girlishness. I guess I always assumed she has the same problem that all of the blurry, floppy Marmaduke characters have: some sort of congenital spine disorder.” –Dumb Blonde

“I hate to dispute Margo, but as far as I can tell: Not ending up with Tommie for the rest of your life = Success!” –Darkefang

“By my count there are at least three crimes against hand-nature in this Gil Thorp: the disembodied monstrosity and the headslap flipper in panel 1, and the face-graft in panel 2. It’s getting sexier in here already!” –Steve S

“Yes, yes, this being Gil Thorp, the sexy swimsuit issue will feature a fully-clothed girl talking to another through the bathroom door as the latter changes; then some random hands; maybe some field hockey the next day; and Gil and Kaz describing all of it in the coach’s office come August.” –teddytoad

“I’m confused. When Margo says, ‘that mistake could have been fatal,’ exactly whom is she threatening to kill? And please, couldn’t she go ahead and kill that person anyway?” –Nekrotzar

“He certainly couldn’t literally bore someone to death, because if boredom could actually kill, all of Tommie’s ‘friends’ would’ve died years ago.” –Alan’s Addiction, wondering how anything involving Gary could possibly be fatal

“More likely, the infamous Charterstone pool party erupts in a cavalcade of conservationist antics, as Trail and boy-ward Rusty capture Ian Cameron in a net, mistaking him for some sort of man-bear hybrid/missing link.” –Jilliterate, on the possibility of a Mark Trail–Mary Worth crossover

“Ahh, the joys of youth, when you can fit into a soft drink carton bikini instead of having to wear a soft drink carton one-piece, which just looks ridiculous.” –Rob

“This being Gil Thorp, I’m fairly certain that they won’t be using the word ‘sexting’. I can hardly wait to see what suitably Puratinco-Luddite phrase Gil will coin to refer to the phenomenon of ‘taking cell phone photos of adolescent girls in swimwear that looks suspiciously like a leftover costume from a 1932 Flash Gordon serial.'” –annabanana

“I think I may just take a liking to Delilah. She already has the best hair of any Mary Worth guest star dating back to Chester the Dog, and she’s sly enough not to say too much over the phone, which for all she knows is plugged into the Charterstone public address system.” –Mooncattie

“Of course Mark didn’t see anything written on the barrel when he was standing right in front of it. Mark’s just reading the brand name of the magnifier etched on the edge of the lens. ‘I’ve found the culprit: Bausch and his partner Lomb!'” –NotThatGuy

“Gil and Kaz are getting bombed on the sidelines, and why the hell not. We only have to read Gil Thorp; they have to live it.” –Charlene

“It should be noted that the rule for reading Wolverine/Spidey team-ups is always to read it like they’re seeing each other having once upon a time had an awkward one-night stand.” –Papers

“We get it, Crock. The characters are French. There is no need to strap one to a baguette.” –Isaac

“I love how the folks behind the Spider-Man daily tease us with the visages of all these cool supervillains in panel two, only to completely let us down by showing supposedly bad-ass Wolverine wearing a jogging suit in panel four and what appears to be vintage captoe swing-dancing shoes in panel five.” –Three Owls

“He hates Facebook, get it? Because the people who write the comic are friendless non-entities.” –It’s time to pay the price

“Some of you may laugh at the idea of Mark doing research on the Google and all. But when he can’t find what he wants and he punches the Internet, we’re ALL going to be sorry.” –buckyswife

“At last, today’s strip gives me what I’ve always wanted in Gil Thorp: all of the ‘different’ ‘characters’ lying on the ground, dead or dying. I hope this lasts all week!” –Hip Young Urban Plugger

“We long to see Mary Worth re-imagined as a Victorian melodrama. We should be careful what we wish for. Apparently, Ms. Moy and Mr. Giella can only reach back to 1967, and that only via an old Playboy discovered in Mr. Giella’s hope chest.” –Fashion Police

“I assume ‘I am the second officer!’ is more of a threat. ‘I have set this ship to crash upon the rocks and only I can undo it! Mua ha ha ha!'” –Carly

“You gotta love Toby’s superb display of passive aggression: ‘We’re so looking forward to our trip to Scotland!‘ (Leaning in for the kill shot of a sympathetic hand on the shoulder:) ‘Where was it you’re going to spend your summer, Mary dear?’ On the other hand, maybe it’s all a ruse for slipping some particularly loathsome corrosive agent in Mary’s drink. If so, I will buy Toby the 15-inch rubber sex toy of her choice.” –boojum

And PeteMoss, capping a discussion of comics ladies and their shoe-shopping ways, made me laugh with “‘I once complained about shopping for shoes, until I met a man who was shopping for feet.’ — Ziggy”

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.