Post Content

Here are your comments of the week, once again! A few people have pointed out to me, quite rightly, that it makes sense to put the #1 comment of the week in these posts, since they are archived for all time. So, this week’s winner:

“OK, Mary. In a perfect world, every impoverished nation would have postcards for sale on every corner and comprehensive cell phone coverage. Of course, in a perfect world, you would constantly be covered in fire ants.” –Splinky

And the almost-as-hilarious runners up:

“Ted Forth just keeps getting mildly cooler all the time. On the scale of dull preppy white guys he’s already moved from Dan Quayle to Tom Scavo. Next stop: Greg Kinnear.” –rich

“Shoot me now if I have to see Mary Worth in low cut magenta slacks. Just take the gun and point it at my head.” –Marc

“Mary is lucky to have friends like Ian and Toby Cameron. Otherwise she would be the worst person in the entire world.” –The Ray

“It bothers me a LOT that Funky Winkerbean is neither funky nor winkerbean.” –Christopher

“I say the time has come to replace Nietzche Family Circus with Margo Nietzche. She understands the will to power, the transvaluation of values, the death of morality, the philosophy of the superman, and what wine to order.” –Marion Delgado

“Christ, 4Evah’s Halloween experience makes ‘Monster Mash’ sound like Lou Reed on a three-day heroin binge.” –Facebones

“That’s the first time I have ever seen Cathy and feminism mentioned in the same sentence. Every Cathy strip lowers the glass ceiling a fraction of an inch.” –Bitter Scribe

“TWO biddies? Oh man … we are in for something big and biddilicous.” –Evey

“Binge drinking + French maid outfit = most uplifting Funky Winkerbean storyline ever!” –Zikar

“I wonder what Mr. Wilson’s job was before he ‘retired’ (read: was fired for criminal misconduct). He strikes me as the mailman type, because he always delivers the laffs.” –Joe

“Grandpa Walt [in Gasoline Alley] will never die. Why, you may ask? Cause senile dementia is COMEDY GOLD baby.” –ChefMike

“I own a handful of classic jazz records. While I don’t consider myself an expert in these matters, I’m almost positive Dizzy Gillespie’s horn never, ever made a noise like ‘bweeaappaabaapaa twaarboorp.’ On the other hand, Dizzy Gillespie didn’t suck total ass. Thanks for letting me share.” –dramashoes

“I’m into statuesque, homoerotic superheroes as much as the next guy, but what muscles are those even supposed to be on the Phantom’s back?” –bup

“Maybe Mark Trail is heading in the direction of a Pluggers origin story? ‘And that’s how Andy Dog met Molly Bear, and their unholy coupling somehow spawned a kangaroo, a chicken, and a folksy, down-home breed of class rage.'” –Sara B.

Also! It’s that time of week where I thank our sponsors, without whom I’d have to spend more time doing actual stupid work.

• The Physics of Superheroes
• Very Funny Ads (powered by TBS) (link includes sound, so turn the volume down if you’re at work)
• PETA’s Boycott KFC video (starring Pamela Anderson)
• 8 films to die for: After Dark Horrorfest

Learn more about advertising on this blog here.

Post Content

From what I’ve read, it’s apparently not uncommon for cartoonists to get e-mails to the effect of, “My husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/child/secret lover is a huge fan of yours, and tomorrow is his/her/its birthday, so would you please work a birthday greeting into your strip?” This, sadly, is impossible, since strips need to be submitted to syndicates weeks and weeks in advance. Plus, big-shot cartoonists don’t care about you or your dumb birthday.

Fortunately for faithful reader Christy and her partner Matt, none of those caveats apply to me!

The most exciting thing about this picture, from my point of view, is that Christy is wearing her birthday present for Matt. That’s right: she’s chosen to give the gift that keeps on giving, Aldomania merch. This shirt and other fine Comics Curmudgeon-related crap is on sale at the Comics Curmudgeon store!

Post Content

OK, kids, I’m going to post a weekend’s worth of comics later this morning, but first: this week’s COTW runners-up:

“Death is clear cut/It’s life that isn’t/The gorge took Aldo/but mine has risen/BURMA SHAVE” –mdrew

“You guys can keep ignoring it all you want, but no one — and I mean NO ONE — is exploring the many, many ways the word ‘punchbowl’ can be used for humor like TDIET’s Al Scaduto.” –gump worsley

“I’m so glad Sam and Horace are taking the high road, keeping the campaign focused on the issues — like Reggie’s fat, rich, alcoholic wife.” –Dennis Jimenez

“I’m sick of mustachioed foob characters using their lips for things (kissing, trumpet mouthpiece playing). It grosses me out.” –anne

“Meanwhile, random crap just spontaneously happens in Gil Thorp.” –RoboMax

“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times, it is a disturbingly inappropriate prop trying to compensate for the lack of visual excitement in Judge Parker: Tales From the Closet.” –Decker

“I was unaware of One Big Happy until tonight, which shall forever be known as ‘Black Tuesday.'” –Joe

“If they made a movie about Gil Thorp they could just use chunks of firewood. It would be no less lifelike than the characters, and since all the action happens offscreen it really doesn’t matter that they’re inanimate.” –RentedMule

“I’m concerned about the lumpiness of the chaplain [in Beetle Bailey]. His head is nothing but tumor on top of tumor. And I’m guessing that odd crescent-wedge below his nose is his mouth, but the mechanics of his jaw frighten me.” –Blueline

“Then they could have a domestic disturbance, because a plugger marriage counselor is an episode of Cops.” –Steve S

JP: “‘You know what the doctor said about cigars!’ …Dr. Freud? Yeah, we know.” –Mibbitmaker

“Mary’s going to try another route to reach Dr. Jeff Cory? I think I get what’s intimated here but the way she said it it sounds like she may have just realized that the world is in fact round. ‘He’s so far away! But I can try another route, heading west to get to the Indies instead of our usual eastern trade route! That will show you all.'” –arlo

“‘Your husband can’t walk and has the mind of a child.’ ‘Then at least he’s happy.’ Yeah, happy as a child who CAN’T WALK!” –Ran

“And Horace’s wife is a fox. He doesn’t care if she is 15. And his granddaughter.” –smacky

“Are those… things… on either side just above Olive Oyl’s negative-space hips supposed to be her breasts, sagging and torn after years and years of over-zealous manipulation at the spinach-fueled fingers of her cyclopean beau?!” –Wirrrn

“I think Mark Trail has honestly stopped caring. For the past three days, it’s, ‘We should save Molly … yep … any time now. Ah, forget it. Lets just drink beer and talk about how they’re going to horribly mutilate her.'” –Monkey’s Paw

“Can’t you see that the poachers are going soft? Molly can melt her way into anyone’s heart. It’s Reverse Stockholm Syndrome. First they won’t be able to kill her, then they will save her from a giant mallard and everyone will have a good cry. Then Molly will eat them. Or french them, whatever.” –ben

“So, I know this is a problem that comes up periodically in the horrifying Dr. Moreau-meets-Git-R-Done world of Pluggers, but a chicken owning a pet cat is just asking for trouble.” –Cold Eels, Distant Thoughts

“So, when Dr. Jeff doesn’t return her calls, Mary Worth heads down to his kids’ workplace to harass them about it? I’m pretty sure this is covered in the definition of ‘stalking.'” –Donut

“This is Mary Worth and so disappointment is inevitable.” –Dactyl

“I’ve already given my ass to Margo, but Tommie has stolen my heart with her adorable self-doubt.” –dramashoes

Also! A fab new Comics Curmudgeon merch photo has arrived from faithful reader Non-Shannon. She’s working it like a claw here with her beloved bearded dragon, Sir Hubert Cumberdale.

You too can be like Non-Shannon by (a) buying stuff from my store and (b) (this is the important part) sending me a picture of you wearing it.

Finally, in a new weekly feature here at the Comics Curmudgeon, I’d like to thank this week’s advertisers:

• Very Funny Ads (powered by TBS) (link includes sound, so turn the volume down if you’re at work)
• PETA’s Boycott KFC video (starring Pamela Anderson)

If you’d like to join these fine advertisers on the site, click here to get started.