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Gil Thorp, 3/14/26

Emily “Mimi” Clover has, at various overlapping times, been Gil’s student, assistant coach, and wife. Now that she’s coaching Milford arch-rival Valley Tech, we’re in for a real “now the student/assistant coach/wife has become master” scenario, where she uses Gil’s own The Secret-inspired “think yourself win” techniques against him.

Pardon My Planet, 3/14/26

Pardon My Planet’s take on romantic partnerships is traditionally “they are the worst nightmares you can imagine and there is no escape,” so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that when the strip finally depicts a loving relationship, it’s literally between two demons in the depths of hell.

Pluggers, 3/14/26

Pluggers have precious little free time remaining to them due to the huge amount of effort it takes to keep them alive, and they spend it playing golf. Sad!

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Pardon My Planet, 11/15/25

Truly, this is a dark vision of an alternate timeline where the British won the American War of Independence and brought Patrick Henry and the other revolutionary leaders back to England to be publicly executed for treason. Pretty grim stuff from a strip that has, up to this point, had as its main thesis the proposition that “women be shopping.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/15/25

I love how everyone is just kind of scratching their chins in a quizzical way here. Is there any particular reason he’s telling this to a clergyman? Does that make it more, or possibly less, menacing? Nobody is sure, exactly.

Mary Worth, 11/15/25

Earlier this week, I made a joke implying a budding sexual relationship between Toby and a parrot. This was immature of me and I apologize. In fact, what’s happening is that the parrot is becoming Toby’s first ever real friend, which is infinitely sadder.

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Mary Worth, 11/4/25

Sorry to be a “liberal coastal elitist” who “has a basic understanding of how academia works,” but a “teachers conference” isn’t really a thing that a tenured PhD English prof at a large state university like Ian would go to; there are plenty of academic conferences where he’d make the rounds, of course, but those tend to run the length of a long weekend, not “a few weeks.” What I’m trying to say is that Toby has no real idea where her husband actually is right now, maybe because he never told her, or maybe because he did tell her and she forgot. When he does finally get home, in a few days or weeks or months or whatever, he will presumably find her on this park bench, her face having been viciously pecked off after she fought a parrot for control of a bag of sunflower seeds and lost.

Pardon My Planet, 11/4/25

I concede that there’s the core of a halfway funny joke about “runway models” here. But building a superstructure around it where you’ve got a dumpy old man grousing that someone misrepresented their attractiveness on a dating app, and also somehow a sex-with-twins fantasy is involved? That’s the misogynist pervert vibe that Pardon My Planet does best.

Marvin, 11/4/25

Glad to see we’re moving past “fire hydrants: they’re toilets, for dogs” to “fire hydrants: they’re the center of a dog’s social life, because they piss there, but for once we’re not dwelling on that part.” Anyway, what’s the most weird and off-putting way to describe someone using color to mask the fact that they’re going grey? It’s probably “has fake brown hair,” right?

Archie, 11/4/25

Hey, teens! It’s Archie! The comic strip about teens, full of jokes that are relatable … to teens!