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Pardon My Planet, 6/13/20

So they’re gonna … dig up this guy? Who’s been dead for more than 20 years? And … they’re gonna make him pay his taxes? As near as I can tell there’s no famous tax cheat with the name and lifespan on that headstone, so maybe this is some sort of name-check of an acquaintance of the cartoonist, whose grieving family surely didn’t deserve this.

Beetle Bailey, 6/13/20

Generally speaking, those “delivery in [X] minutes or your pizza’s free” rebates come out of the driver’s paycheck, so I guess the joke here is that this guy is going to lose money because Beetle is holding him for a while at gunpoint.

Pluggers, 6/13/20

THAT’S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, PLUGGERS HAVE NEVER DONE A MOMENT’S INTROSPECTION IN THEIR LIVES AND THEY NEVER WILL

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Pardon My Planet, 4/17/19

Welp, I’ve got three more months of analysis under my belt and I still do not know what the deal is with Pardon My Planet. Are these two a stable couple of characters we’re supposed to know and love? Or does everyone in the strip just kind of look like this? Definitely could not tell you! I do enjoy the image of a Gen-X dude with a soul patch coming home after a long day at the office, settling back in his favorite chair, and then his beloved wife, dressed in a traditional tube top, brings him a soothing martini and engages him in discourse about the etymology of common phrases. I don’t necessarily want to live in this world, but I’m definitely warmed by the idea that it might exist.

Hi and Lois, 4/17/19

Man, it sure seems like Trixie’s been abandoned even more than usual today, doesn’t it? “I’ll just let the weather guy on Channel 7 babysit her until Chip gets home from school,” says Lois, as she hastily packs a bag and prepares to leave forever. “He seems trustworthy.”

Mary Worth, 4/17/19

ARTHUR IS COMING, EVERYBODY

BRACE YOURSELVES

BRACE YOURSELVES FOR THE MOST DELICIOUS DISAPPOINTMENT YOU’VE EVER SEEN

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Pardon My Planet, 1/19/19

Pardon My Planet is a strip (panel?) I’ve added to my rotation in the new year, and honestly I can’t really tell if it’s supposed to be a Far Side-esque series of out-of-context gags that happens to only have three or four character models, or if I’m supposed to be recognizing these people as distinct characters with persistent personalities and such. Either way, though, today’s panel, which implies a rapid descent into body horror as this haunted-eyes dude tries escalating techniques for transforming his anatomy in impossible ways, represents a sharp turn that I am very much here for.

Dennis the Menace, 1/19/19

God damn it, is it possible to be less menacing than adorably comforting your dad with a lovable teddy bear??? The only way I can accept this is if I imagine Dennis as being extremely sarcastic. “Here, dad … mom says you’re havin’ a rough day and whining like a little baby, so here’s a stuffed animal, like a baby would want. Fuckin’ baby.”