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Family Circus, 7/27/18

Look, I get that whoever’s in charge of coloring the daily comics is probably overworked, underpaid, may not be fluent in English or familiar with any of the art form’s conventions, etc. But the Family Circus is iconic, so when you come at it with your little paint can fill tool in whatever off-brand Photoshop knockoff the contractor employing you illegally downloaded, you best come correct. It’s Billy who’s the blond, and you can tell the difference between him and Jeffy, who’s a redhead, because Jeffy’s hair is lumpy. One is left staring at this panel with the impression that Jeffy has dyed his hair to show his total dedication to the beach lifestyle he and PJ are constructing for themselves. They’re also building their beach out of sugar, so presumably this scene here takes place only moments before everyone flees in terror from an enormous swarm of bees.

Pluggers, 7/27/18

I don’t know what delights me about this more: the image, which shows a crazed plugger reverting back to his true animalistic self, or the caption, which summons up the image of a plugger trying to put his hair up in a bun and somehow getting greasy chunks of ground beef tangled up in it.

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Dennis the Menace, 7/25/18

Not menacing: Whispering some dumb pun to your wife so Dennis can’t hear

Menacing: “Get shot in the back of the head and then we’ll talk, kid”

Pluggers, 7/25/18

Pluggers remember the days when red-blooded American men worked good-paying tin-mining jobs, before the globalist cabal used their secret government influence to favor their own aluminum conglomerates!!!!! (NOTE: I have not even bothered to do the minimum Wikipedia research to determine if the U.S. even has tin mines, please do not bother telling me)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/25/18

“Whoa whoa whoah. A good new restaurant? I don’t think anyone said anything about it being good.”

May Worth, 7/25/18

“No problem! Groceries are my thing!” –A man currently holding a bag full of groceries with a huge, obvious hole in the bottom of it

Hi and Lois, 7/25/18

OH NO, TRIXIE FIGURED OUT WHERE MEAT COMES FROM

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The Phantom, 7/13/18

Oh, hey, remember how the Phantom’s daughter Heloise is rooming with the daughter of her father’s archnemesis, the Nomad, at her fancy boarding school? Remember how the Phantom made his wife do a weird guessing game when he figured out the Nomad’s secret identity, rather than just coming right out and telling her who it was? Well, it looks like that’s the only way he likes telling the women in his family who the Nomad is, I guess! Anyway, I was given to understand that the Kids Today hate talking on the phone and only respond to texts, or possibly Instagram DMs, so I’m having a hard time buying Heloise just straight-up facetiming her dad in ladies room, though at least she got up and took the call in semi-private, rather than at the table where she’s, uh, having dinner with the Nomad, right now! I think this whole thing playing out as a text conversation at the table might’ve been more dramatically interesting, though probably somewhat harder to draw.

Pluggers, 7/13/18

I’m not sure if the point of this panel is “pluggers don’t throw away spoiled food because they’re poor” or “pluggers don’t throw away spoiled food because they have incipient dementia,” but either way you have to admit it’s pretty grim!