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Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Sunday is for facing your mortality

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Hi and Lois, 9/2/18

Can you imagine if your all-powerful creator diety died? Imagine the sense of mourning, of emptiness that would hang over your whole universe in that scenario. And then you’d have to contemplate the possibility that it was only His constant new acts of creation that kept the world running, and that without that impetus maybe the tide would beging to shift the other way. “Old cartoonists never die. They just erase away,” says Lois, worrying that perhaps her own reality will soon begin to erase itself, removing her and everyone she loves from existence.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/2/18

Well, it looks like Millie was just waiting for one last visit from her high school boyfriend so he knew how hot she was before finally dropping dead. At least she died as she lived: slinging cheap food to ungrateful patrons at a mediocre diner, and dreaming of the day, just around the corner but always out of reach, when she’d be able to retire.

Mary Worth, 9/2/18

Oh, man, it’s a mean old man and his angry dog! He actively refuses Mary’s gift of food! This is going to be her greatest challenge yet! Watch out, Mr. Wynter: your life is about to have the the hell meddled out it. Dead wife? Estranged kids? Prickly exterior makes it hard to make friends? Mary will find your trauma and will force you to process it emotionally until you are fixed.

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Maybe [dramatic music sting] YELP HAS THEIR PHONE NUMBER WRONG

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/30/18

Several different uninteresting storylines featuring uninteresting sets of characters intersected at Buck and Mindy’s Vegas wedding, and so the big question after that was: what boring nonsense was going to come up on the bland Rex Morgan, M.D., slot machine after everybody parted ways? The “winners” turn out to be the Hanks, making their way across America one dumb roadside attraction at a time — except Hank Sr. has decided he’s going to go back to Millie’s diner and win back her heart. But now nobody is answering the phone at the diner!!!! Will our heroes stumble into a robbery or a fire or some similarly dramatic situation??? Or will it just be that things were really slammed and nobody picked up the phone, yes, that’s the more likely alternative, the much, much less exciting thing, that’s the one that’s happening.

Mark Trail, 8/30/18

Oh, it appears Mark’s reputation has preceded him here south of the border, down Mexico way, and what does that reputation consist of? Well, we know he hates evil-doers. We know he particularly hates those evil-doers who illicitly traffic in the cultural heritage of the indigenous peoples of the Americas. And we know that when he gets angry, vehicles explode. Jo(s)e’s precious classic car … ice cream truck … thing is not long for this world, is what I’m saying!

Dennis the Menace, 8/30/18

You’ve taken your five-year-old to a live performance fancy enough to require a jacket and tie … and he announces his intention to peacefully and quietly sleep through it, allowing all the other theater-goers, who appear to universally be adults, to enjoy the show? That is literally the least menacing possible scenario here

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Still bothers me that the dude’s name is just “Bribery”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/18/18

“It’s not as weird as being sent to check in on a patient’s beach house and finding it occupied by a bunch of strippers with hearts of gold, or as weird as stumbling upon a MRSA epidemic spread to teens all over town by infected wrestling mats, or as weird as a nanny and a couple of her friends conspiring to keep a demented old man in charge of a publicly traded corporation for their own financial benefit. Seems like that kind of fun stuff doesn’t really happen around here very much anymore! Just, uh, old comic book art hidden under the floorboards from here on out, I guess.”

Dick Tracy, 8/18/18

Thanks, Dick Tracy Narration Box, for reminding me, a Dick Tracy reader, that I’m consuming serialized content! Without this warning I may have spent the next 24 hours worrying that we’d never learn what Bribery and Lafayette Austin have to talk about, or that maybe the strip was just going to unceremoniously stop publishing altogether.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/18/18

Snuffy Smith trying to latch onto the sovereign citizen movement is possibly the least surprising development in the comics pages this year.