Post Content

Dustin, 5/25/24

Syndicated newspaper comic strip creators love golf for some accursed reason, but I have to say that they’re generally pretty good about only doing jokes about aspects of golf that non-golfers know about through cultural osmosis, like that you can lose your ball in a sand or water trap, or that everyone who plays it fucking hates it for some reason. Today’s Dustin, however, requires you to know whether 112 is a good or a bad score. I mean, I guess it’s clear from context that it’s bad, but still: I think this is over the line. It made me dedicate some thought to the awful “sport of kings” [note to self: wait, is that horse racing? double-check this] when all I wanted to do is find out what specific kind of terrible asshole Dustin’s dad was going to be today. Unacceptable! Save it for your side gig submitting New Yorker-style single-panel cartoons to Golf Digest, creeps!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/25/24

“Living their retro-diner-roots-country life to the fullest” makes it sound very much like we’re seeing some unpleasant rockabilly LARP situation, possibly in a corporate “immersive experience” theme park run by whatever hedge fund currently owns the rights to the Johnny Rockets IP. And that’s the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is that this is foreplay!

Family Circus, 5/25/24

Ah, man, this is great. Now I know that whenever we see Billy dressed up to play sports, he feels like he’s under a microscope and is miserable most of the time! I’m a major Billy hater as you all well know, so this is a big win for me.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/24

This week we’ve been getting a little catchup on what the ancillary Rex Morgan characters have been up to, and it’s mostly pretty boring, but I did think you’d like to see what Justin’s whole vibe is now. You remember Justin, right? Niki and Kelly’s sassy friend who had a terrible puking sickness at one point? Well, he’s a hippie now. A hippie skateboarder. A hippie skateboarder … pirate? Also barefoot, if that’s your thing. Don’t worry, these kids are in college now, so they’re supposed to be 18, but are also clearly played by 36 year old actors, so don’t feel bad about it! Check out those feet if you want!

Six Chix, 5/23/24

You know how we make fun of snails for being slow? Well, what if they like it? What if they’re comfortable with being slow and wish more of the world was slow like them? This is a good Six Chix, I’m calling it now. Not sure that snails live in the desert though, seems like their whole slimy deal requires a moister environment, but I’m not going to do any research because I actually find snails kind of off-putting, due to the aforementioned sliminess. Still, you do you, snails! Slowly. Somewhere where I can’t see you.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/9/24

Dawn is reconnecting with her Connecticut WASP mother by attempting to enjoy high-prestige social pursuits like the ballet. Wilbur, meanwhile, has reacted to his brutal romantic rejection by descending into unkempt couch-based schlubdom. This is an experience Dawn knows a little bit about herself, so no matter how annoying she finds her mother’s culturally elitist suburban clique, she should be thankful she’s not being pulled back into that morass.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/9/24

It’s sad, of course, that Helga has no friends she can confide in. But thanks to her husband’s canonical illiteracy, she can confide in her books to her heart’s content. It’s like being able to scream in a language he doesn’t speak, constantly!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/24

Rex Morgan is about to face his most terrifying medical challenge yet: his family’s emotions, which he’s apparently supposed to care about. Remember that crazy guy who wanted Rex to do a little experimental brain surgery on someone in an attempt to “cure crime“? He refused then, but now seems to be contemplating whether he could “cure feelings that require attention from me” using nothing but his trusty power drill.