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Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Begin the week SOAPY

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Dick Tracy, 7/24/23

I think, over the years that I’ve done this blog, that my brain has developed a protective layer that stops truly terrible (in a boring way, not a fun way) soap opera plots from taking root. I choose to believe that this, and not some kind of incipient dementia, is why I can not tell you a single thing about what is going on in Dick Tracy, despite diligently reading it every day. Who is Madsen? I mean, I know he’s this ska guy, but what is his relationship to Audie and Sabrina, exactly? What’s the deal with Anders? Is “Argos” a place or a person or Odysseus’s dog or what? I neither know the answer to any of these questions nor do I plan to go back through the Dick Tracy archives to discover them, but that won’t stop me from enjoying today’s strip, in which Audie spills his dang pills, then calmly and meticulously drops them back into the pill bottle.

Gil Thorp, 7/24/23

“What kind of town is Milford anyway?” you might rightfully ask. Well, it’s the kind of town where the craze for high school athletics completely dominates all local media, but it’s also the kind of town where a hardened teenage criminal in the middle of playing punishment football might say something like “Coach Thorp, it’s raining. Shall we adjourn?” It’s a rich tapestry and I respect that so much.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/24/23

I’m sorry, “didn’t mean to make a joke” is possibly the most unnecessary thing Rex Morgan has ever said. “If that came across as a joke, please know that I didn’t mean it, and I only did it accidentally because I have no idea what a joke is or how they work. I definitely don’t enjoy them and would never make one on purpose.”

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Dog-gone traumatic

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Mary Worth, 7/23/23

Oh, so I forget to tell you that when Greta was being held captive, she made friends with a fellow dog-prisoner, the one the cops were surprised wasn’t dead, and so I guess she was so depressed not because of her ordeal, but because she missed her pal. Fortunately Dr. Ed is the only vet in town, so everyone has to keep taking their pets there, despite his terrible yelp reviews, and now they’re reunited! Anyway, it’s funny because Mary and Saul have just been assuming that Greta was kidnapped by a dogfighting ring despite having no hard evidence, and since Holly is a known kidnapee, it seems like this is a vital clue into Greta’s experience, but probably nobody’s going to talk about it! They’re just going arrange a play date and everything will be fine. Remember, the past only exists by how your remember it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/23/23

“Hmm, I quit surgery because it was annoying, but now that I’m realizing that it means less time spent with my wife, maybe I need to reconsider. The patients will be under general anesthesia when I interact with them, right? I won’t have to talk to them?”

Family Circus, 7/23/23

I’m sorry, I’m going to have go lie down for a bit while I process the fact that in today’s Family Circus a smiling old woman told a child that “A galaxy of pain awaits you, dear!” like she was in a fucking Hellraiser movie or something.

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Thursday quickies

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Gasoline Alley, 7/20/23

Look, I’m not saying I’m in favor of the Machines declaring themselves “superior” and then forcing us to consume medications of an unspecified variety. What I am saying is, maybe we should let them start with Rufus and Joel just to see what we’re up against before we really start working to get the resistence up to speed.

Beetle Bailey, 7/20/23

Look, I’m not saying that Beetle and Miss Buxley’s relationship is definitely a sexless sham meant to deflect curiosity about the orientation of the former and deflect male attention from the latter, and that Beetle can’t even be bothered to maintain consciousness when they spend time together. What I am saying is that it’s interesting that Miss Buxley, a woman who wears a little black cocktail dress and pearl necklace to work every day, has now decided to start dressing like this on their dates.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/20/23

“Like riding a bike right through man’s eye, ha ha! Anyway, he’s blind now.”