Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Mary Worth, 7/30/18

Oh, huh, so it seems that Tommy’s jailhouse conversion was specifically to Roman Catholicism, interesting! You can understand why he finds it an attractive faith, seeing as he seems to have wildly misunderstood the purpose of the sacrament of confession; apparently he thinks that if there’s something you should probably tell somebody in your life, admitting it in the confessional instead is functionally the same thing! I feel bad for this priest, who’s probably had to hear the tales of Tommy’s meth-dealing days, like, five times by now.

Gil Thorp, 7/30/18

Finally, the “spring” baseball plot is over, and now we have just a few short weeks for a wacky summertime storyline! Clearly it’s not enough time to top such classics as “Kaz gets a job as a rock star’s bodyguard” or “Marty Moon gets grifted at golf” or “Gil does a pro wrestling match for charity,” but it seems to involve the local kids getting into the latest extreme sports craze, RainCycling, so I’m excited to see where it goes.

Gasoline Alley, 7/30/18

Like many characters of color working as servants in fiction, Gertie has a sassy personality and not much of an inner life to which we’re privy. Today, though, we learn a little bit of how she passes her time in her off hours: with lots and lots of Wookiee porn.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/18


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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/29/18

Oh, hey, we’ve moved on from the low-key looming-nuptial-derived happiness of one boring Rex Morgan, M.D., ancillary couple to the low-key looming nuptial-derived happiness of another boring Rex Morgan, M.D., ancillary couple! I like how Corey is really playing along here, asking all the questions necessary for exposition, until finally he gets to the last panel and he just can’t take it anymore. “Ugh, I wouldn’t have to go with you, would I? That sounds boring as hell! Just driving around looking at dull-ass shit, hanging out with you two chumps staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. No thanks! I’m just gonna stay here with my video games!”

Spider-Man, 7/29/18

Of course, it’s always an absolute delight to see Peter Parker abruptly and unexpectedly bludgeoned into unconsciousness, but let’s not sleep on Peter’s hilarious and deluded self-talk in the leftmost panel in the bottom row. “Maybe if I can round that corner and escape, roughly six feet away from where they’re chasing after me at full speed, they’ll give up! It’s totally possible they haven’t yet developed object permanence and will literally think that, if they can’t see me, I no longer exist! It’s worth a shot!”

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Beetle Bailey, 7/28/18

There are so many unsettling aspects about the Halftrack’s marital life, and I’d say that one of the absolute worst is Mrs. Halftrack’s weirdly sublimated horniness. Today’s installment makes it seem like she’s doing vaguely sexy mommy play and then takes a turn to the sexy doggy play and, you know what, normally I don’t endorse the General’s obvious and untreated alcoholism but I’m here to say now: I get it.

Spider-Man, 7/28/18

I don’t pretend to know how exactly the Newspaper Spider-Man Universe maps onto other Marvel continuities, but it’s true that there are tons of other superheroes out there — Iron Man! Wolverine! Black Widow! So, while Peter’s antagonists might eventually realize he’s no ordinary reporter, I’m not sure they’re going to associate “not getting stabbed” as a spider-specific power.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/28/18

It’s pretty funny that Rex assumes Jordan will be catering his own wedding, but, when you think about it, Jordan is Avery’s driver and manservant, and therefore is part of the underclass. He can’t hire anyone to cook for him! He’s a guy who people hire to cook! It just doesn’t make sense!

Funky Winkerbean, 7/28/18

Does … does Mason think they give out Emmys for trite wordplay, or