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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/30/24

Oh yeah, so it turns out that Lyle “Old Man” Ollman is actually Rene/”Jimmy”‘s uncle! I admit I made fun of Lyle for not having the skill or charisma to get a self-help cult going in the 1970s, but today, as he declares that Rene rebranding the Ollman Technique as “Professor Mirakle™ Presents: Rene Belluso’s Mirakle Method (an Ollman Technique® Production) Featuring Fergus ‘Mud Mountain’ Murphy” to be the “one good thing” his wayward nephew has done, he reveals that he at least has the ego for it. He hasn’t spoke to Rene in years! He could have done all sorts of good things! I mean, he definitely hasn’t, but he could have!

Family Circus, 1/30/24

Is Dolly promoting a pantheistic view of the universe and assigning divinity to a pagan nature goddess? Or is she humbly avoiding conflating herself with the one creator God of the Trinity while still boasting of her artistic prowess? The Keane Council on Heresy (PJ and Barfy) are going to have a hard time with this one.

Pluggers, 1/30/24

Sure, only pluggers remember payphone-derived idioms and aphorisms. But also, only pluggers still think a dime is actually worthwhile to hold on to rather than something annoying in your pocket, so I’m afraid I don’t buy that our bear-man friend here would actually use one to act out his dramatic little response.

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Mary Worth, 1/27/24

Remember when Keith first showed up in this strip as a closed-off, taciturn man who tried to get through his interactions with Mary with as few words as possible? And now here he is waxing rhapsodic about all the new feelings he’s been experiencing or whatever. I have to imagine that if you went back in time and showed the Keith of late September what he’s become that he’d be a million times more embarrassed than if he’d “gone woke” and just enjoyed a vegan burger or something.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/27/24

“Jimmy — is that you? My old friend, who came up with the ‘Jimmy Seminar,’ a self-improvement method that I blatantly ripped off to create the Ollman Technique? And who I spotted just a few days ago, panicked, and then ran over with my car? That Jimmy?”

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Judge Parker, 1/24/24

Oh, yeah, so it turns out that the long lost Parker sister is in fact a scam artist — not, to be clear, that she’s only pretending to be the long lost Parker sister, but rather that after leaving the comforts of the Parker home, she became a master of scamming, if Detective Yelich’s instant judgement of a picture of a fake ID that Alan quickly grabbed out of Ann’s purse while she was in the bathroom is to be believed. Anyway, today’s second panel is very funny, to me, as we can imagine the emotional rollercoaster this 1950s snob salesman caricature will endure when the credit card charges for this expensive (?) dress are inevitably reversed.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/24/24

Oh, yeah, so it turns out Rene survived his terrible car accident thanks to Rex’s quick intervention but he’ll be in traction for months. Tragically, it also seems that he’s now permanently stuck in mid-sarcastic eye roll, just like his mother always warned him.

Mark Trail, 1/24/24

Oh, yeah, so it turns out Mark organized a big fishing retreat to help men bond and get in touch with their feelings and each other. But he still didn’t bring Rusty, ha ha! Anyway, you know who really isn’t going to enjoy this is the fish, who will be killed and eaten.