Post Content

Dustin, 6/24/23

Being a diagnosable Twitter addict, like I am, is not particularly rewarding, but it does provide you with a few fairly useless special powers. The ranks of Twitter addicts are fairly small — the number of daily users has never matched networks like Facebook or Instagram or TikTok — but is disproportionally made up of journalists and academics and tech “thought leaders,” so ideas and memes that originate on Twitter often eventually leak out into the real, non-Twitter, world, so one of those aforementioned useless powers is the ability to spot one of the aforementioned ideas/memes and think “Oh, no, this bastard is inflicting a bad Twitter thing on the hapless normies.” For a while, one of the bad Twitter things has been accounts that post pictures of Eastern European models in various contrived everyday situations accompanied with text like “You encounter this beautiful woman in the market. What is your romantic approach?” The goal for these accounts is either to push pickup artist bullshit or just get enough followers so that they can eventually pivot to crypto scam artistry, and I regret to inform you that it appears that at least someone at Dustin HQ has been sucked in.

Dick Tracy, 6/24/23

Dick Tracy hasn’t gone in for nightmarish ultraviolence in years, but current the creative team still likes to unsettle and disturb in their own way, like by offering unpleasant closeups of normal human mouths in action.

Hi and Lois, 6/24/23

This is a good addition to my “Hi and Lois is embracing Thirsty’s characterization as the neighborhood drunk” files. Honestly, the combination of the bright red nose and the fact that he’s clearly passed out in his lawn chair with his mouth hanging open while children gawk at him is a little too much! Getting a little grim! Might want to ratchet it back!

Judge Parker, 6/24/23

Good news, everyone! Sam and Abbey are going off on a trip together to have sex! Sam’s wearing a dumb baseball hat and they almost-matched their ecru shirts because that’s the sort of bland shit that really gets them going, I guess. Hopefully we’ll be treated to the same uncanny flavor of sexuality that marked their last recorded erotic encounter.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/23

“Oh, wow, you’ve managed to parry exactly one question with a confident but unquantified assertion. I’m sold!”

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/23/23

So it seems that Niki is going to turn down the college scholarship he earned by helping Rex recapture some escaped prisoners, because he’s found a new passion — auto mechanics! And indeed, this is a line of work that can be quite lucrative, though I’m a little worried that he’s cut his teeth on classic cars and is going to show up on his first day at his new job and start panicking when he sees how many computer chips are involved. Anyway, I love panel three because Kelly has just reached that point in a Big Relationship Talk where the other person starts waving their index finger in your face, which you know means things are going great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/23/23

I’m sorry, there is no way on earth that Snuffy Smith is going to utter the phrase au contraire. Absolutely fucking not. It’s days like today when I really come to terms with what a crushing burden it is to be the last person alive who cares about consistent characterization in newspaper comics that are literally more than a hundred years old.

Dennis the Menace, 6/23/23

Dennis casually looking at his phone as he delivers this line is in fact quite menacing and extremely funny, and I have no choice but to respect it.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/8/23

Looks like Santa Royale Action News has gotten wind of the van-based dognapping gang haunting the region, and thank goodness they’re interviewing this nice lady instead of Saul. People are going to see her on TV and think “Oh no! Our city’s pets and their owners are being victimized! We must stop at no expense to defeat these evil criminals!” If they had seen Saul, their reaction would be more “Honey, get in here, there’s a little dude in a bowtie on the news! Ha ha, he’s blubberin’ about his dog or something.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/8/23

As we discussed, Niki may have given up his cool hairstyle, but I’m happy to report that his mom is sticking with hers. She knows that Daryl Hannah’s chracter in Blade Runner was the pinnacle of fashion and she simply has no interest in making any changes at this time. Did she also stick with her meth manufacturing business? Probably not, right? 2023-ear Niki looks like a narc, I’m assuming he scared her straight.

The Lockhorns, 6/8/23

Leroy is, canonically, a Reddit guy, so you can see why he finds the fact that Loretta has paid $8 for a blue Twitter check so embarrassing. Obviously he’s not a fan of most of the stuff she does but you can see an even deeper contempt in his eyes than usual here.

Pluggers, 6/8/23

This phrase most of you associate with playful, youthful sexuality? To pluggers, it means pain, physical pain that they don’t trust anyone to diagnose or treat. This one is, uh, a little much, guys.