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Beetle Bailey, 11/9/24

I know it’s just because of basic newspaper comic strip art hackery, but it really bothers me that Beetle’s shirt here looks exactly like his underwear from two days ago. Did he do that on purpose? Is he wearing that underwear right now? Is it a set? Is he the sort of sicko who goes into some real sicko store, sees a matching shirt/underwear set, then buys it, then wears it? The mind reels. Reels, I say!

Mary Worth, 11/9/24

Since Ed guilted Estelle into abandoning her elaborate themed wedding dreams to instead just do a quickie living room wedding for a handful of people, fully a third of whom were their exes, I assume that Mary does not mean “paying off” in a literal sense here. At least Eve is proud of the things she’s learning, unlike the real unsavory stuff Saul is picking up in his classes that he’s coming home and telling her about or maybe even demonstrating afterwards, to her mingled horror and fascination.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/24

Truck! Do not attempt to book Shorty and the Beanpole to deliver their neo-vaudevillian stylings at your wedding reception, you will regret it more than you can possibly imagine

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Beetle Bailey, 11/3/24

Every once in a while, you do have to wonder how much anyone at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC knows about the actual U.S. military and how it works. Like, do you think that they’re vaguely aware that’s there’s a football team called “Army,” but don’t know that it’s the college team fielded by the U.S. Military Academy and assume instead that its players are just, like, enlisted men chosen at random? Anyway, today our Camp Swampy heroes are playing against a team [squints at helmets] comprised of literal pirates, or maybe representing Death itself.

Family Circus, 11/3/24

Say what you will about today’s Tiktok-addled children, but they would not get distracted from a wholesome family game by some dumb hobo clown on TV and then sit there watching him enraptured for a full minute. Kids simply don’t have that kind of attention span anymore.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/3/24

Noooo, Wanda, be careful, Truck is trying to pull you into his bench sitting based lifestyle, don’t fall for it

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Gil Thorp, 10/31/24

Oh, huh, Gil Thorp as a vampire is gonna be a cherished annual tradition now? I’m not complaining, mind you. Far from it! I do question some of the vampire world-building here, though. Why would you bother getting into a sword fight if you were a vampire? No metal blade can harm you! You could simply knock the mortal’s weapon aside with your bare hand and begin drinking his delicious blood.

Mary Worth, 10/31/24

Hey, remember the whole plot where Mary briefly got into the wild world of competitive cake baking, with a friend who turned out to be into her, sexually? She’s put those days behind her now, but it’s nice that she’s providing free (?) services for Ed and Estelle’s bare bones wedding. It gives her an opportunity to show off her skills, and also self-aggrandize by imagining baking a single cake was just as complex an undertaking as the painstaking and annoying emotional process we’ve been subjected to throughout Ed and Estelle’s relationship. Why, she doesn’t even have to deal with a transfer!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/31/24

As a child growing up in Buffalo, I experienced this disappointment year after year — and only much later, as an adult, did it occur to me that I should’ve come up with costume ideas that could accommodate or possibly even integrate a heavy coat. It was then that I took to heart the lesson that Rex Morgan is trying to teach us, which is that kids are actually pretty stupid.

Gearhead Gertie, 10/31/24

Gertie, there is no part of the Halloween mythos where you make children answer questions about your special interest before you give them candy! Please, why are you doing this??? Just dress up as a NASCAR driver and call it a day!!!!!!