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Gil Thorp, 7/11/14

Whoops, it turns out that nothing about the end of Gil Thorp’s spring storyline or the beginning of its summer storyline has been worth bringing to your attention, which means that I haven’t talked about it since … mid-June? Sounds about right! Golf is generally the sport of choice for summer storylines, but this year we’re going for the excitement of seven on seven football!!!!! Which is probably exciting? Anyway, today we formally meet Art and, I guess, assuming the meaty flipper-hand in panel three is meant to be flailing around in an introductory way, True, who have been watching the games and making notes, so I suppose they’re supposed to be seven-on-seven football scouts or something, which maybe is a real thing. What mainly piqued my interest in this sea of baffling half-understood info is the name of this (I think) father-son pair, “Art” and “True”. For isn’t art the purest expression of truth? And isn’t truth the basis of all art? I certainly hope their analysis of the Mudlarks’ roster talent is entirely abstract and philosophical.

Six Chix, 7/11/14

A cool thing about having your own comic is that you can use it as an opportunity to work out your very specific gripes about life. Did the member of the Six Chix consensus-driven collective responsible for today’s strip recently go to a restaurant that didn’t have a bathroom, or a restaurant from which she caught hepatitis? Since hepatitis A is transmitted via fecal matter, is it possible that these two factors are related via a particularly unpleasant method of protesting the no-public-bathrooms policy?

Mary Worth, 7/11/14

Wow, Olive, who has been shown to have future-predicting ability, sure looks scared to see this doctor! Maybe her second sight is giving her a look into her own fate, or maybe she’s just aware that she lives in a heavy-handed over-determined narrative and her doctor is literally named “Kapuht.”

Momma, 7/11/14

Momma readers were surprised when the strip simply became day after day of Momma’s children sitting in an empty void geting reports on the people their mother had killed, but most agreed that it was an improvement.

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Apartment 3-G, 7/5/14

Oh hey it seems that Tommie is referring to the fawn she rescued as a “baby” in front of other people and not correcting them when they clearly assume it’s a human baby, as if that were a thing a totally normal and sane person would do. It’s almost as if weeks (months? years?) of hard work and not talking about your feelings isn’t the best way to deal with psychological distress.

Mark Trail, 7/5/14

“Oh no! The female appears to speaking about her ’emotions.’ No flaming stick can defeat her! Will I need to talk about ’emotions’ too?”

Momma, 7/5/14

Momma may be long-widowed and missing a man in her life, but that doesn’t mean she’s willing to compromise when it comes to the sexual skills and techniques of her potential partners.

Six Chix, 7/5/14

Hey, lady, I’m pretty sure your friends are just going to lob balls back and forth at each other using tennis rackets and golf club, which doesn’t really count as “sports,” really? Probably margaritas are involved, though.

Beetle Bailey, 7/5/14

Beetle Bailey took a moment to exhibit some pro forma patriotism yesterday before returning to its main theme: unrelenting class war.

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Six Chix, 6/24/14

Hey guys, here’s a comic that … I’m pretty sure is supposed to have a joke in it? Except it doesn’t seem to have a joke in it. Just a lady who feels that, due to her educational status and cultural position, she’s supposed to be better acquainted with the canon of Western literature than she is. And she feels bad enough about it that she’s willing to pay a therapist to listen to her talk about it. Which isn’t funny? It seems to not be funny. Maybe the way her therapist is looking at her with open contempt is the joke? It’s not very funny either, but it’s moderately funnier than the other thing.

Mark Trail, 6/24/14

TRUE FACT: Despite being adorable-looking and the subject of a popular and condescending tabletop game, hippos are actually super aggressive and dangerous and will just straight-up attack people for no reason at all. So I dub this Mark Trail depiction of wanton hippo violence accurate! I’m more dubious on the question of whether any African humans are actually named “Taurus,” however.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/14

Future rich dowager Sarah Morgan just heard the two most important sentences of her young life so far: “You’re allowed to do anything I want” and “If the museum wants my million bucks, we do it my way!” Mrs. Pierpont is writing on her little pad of paper, but Sarah is the one who should be taking notes.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/24/14

In order for the extremely mild “punchline” of this strip to work, it needs to be vaguely surprising when Jamaal compares his feelings for a jar of sourdough starter to the romantic attraction one would expect him to feel for a human woman. However, any such surprise is completely precluded by the frank and shocking scene of man-on-glassware intimacy depicted in panel three.