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Marvin, 9/20/26

Now, if you were a normal person, by which I mean someone who has no idea what Marvin’s whole deal was beyond “Isn’t that a comic about, like, a baby?”, you would probably be taken aback by this strip, which seems to be a pretty harsh indictment of modern millennial parents, sucked into social media and checked out from what the wondrous moments of their kid’s toddlerhood, precious memories they’ll never get back. But Marvin realheads like you and me know that Marvin, the character, is the worst baby around, and deserves his father’s neglect. Who cares what he’s wearing? He sucks!

Shoe, 9/20/26

Given that the uncle-nephew bond is apparently the closest intergenerational relationship the bird-men of Shoe can experience, it’s too bad for the Perfesser that his uncles keep dying. Anyway, I think they should wait to make sure Uncle Walter’s coffin successfully lands in the grave before carving anything into marble.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/20/26

OK, yes, he should’ve been smart enough to take the cap off the pen. But the legal status of this monster — is he a sapient animal and therefore a citizen of the Forest Kingdom who needs liberation? a creation of an unclean human and therefore a lesser beast? a dangerous criminal who is competent to be tried and must be jailed? — should send the newly established animal political establishment into a frenzy, and you have to admire the good Count for his gumption in creating it.

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Slylock Fox, 8/3/26

I have no idea what the relationship is between Count Weirdly and the little purple being who’s always hanging around his workplace/castle — is it his creation? his adopted child? his [gulp] biological child? was it spawned by some unnatural process that doesn’t fall into any of those three categories cleanly but falls into all of them in part? — but clearly it views the count in a paternal light, and it’s pretty devastating that it’s so excited to show off the Count’s supposedly legitimate business enterprise to Slylock, only for the Fox Detective to immediately debunk the whole scam. Also, unrelated, but I’ve never really had much reason to contemplate whether Weirdly was wearing anything under his trademark shapeless nightgown, but the very vivid buttrack on display here implies that he probably isn’t.

Crock, 8/3/26

The past is in fact another country, as this Crock strip from 1998 demonstrates. Sure, the idea of a boy baby aggressively hitting on a girl baby and being punished for it is timeless, but why is the girl named “Cyber”? Was this the setup to a joke about computers that turned out to be too hard to execute so they fell back on the classics, or did the Crock creative team in 1998 simply say “What are they naming girl babies these days? Cyber, right? That’s a word I hear a lot but I don’t know what it means, so it’s probably a girl’s name.”

The Lockhorns, 8/3/26

I spent some time trying to parse Leroy’s facial expression here and the conclusion I came to is that it’s supposed to represent “sophisticated horny.” Like he’s thinking, “Ah, yes, women’s beach volleyball … the intellectual’s sport. You get to enjoy athletes at the top of their game demonstrating their prowess at leaping and spiking the ball, all in a beautiful seaside setting. And if one of these statuesque competitors were to engender a pleasant feeling of arousal in me while I watched? Well, I’m mostly trying to keep tabs on various stats to see how my fantasy team is doing, but that would be an added bonus.”

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Family Circus, 7/19/26

Dolly, thou shalt not mock this sign of God’s displeasure, neither by crude sophistry nor by mooning His works.

Slylock Fox (panel), 7/19/26

“Is Reeky lying” isn’t much of a mystery: he obviously never cleans house, just look at the place. Also, he’s Reeky Rat, for Pete’s sake—”lying” tops his to-do list next to “squalor” and “pointless low-stakes crimes.”

But consider the original offense. What makes this note a “horrible” hate crime? Speciesism would be my first guess. With so many species around—seven or eight in this panel alone—some friction seems inevitable. But rat‑on‑rabbit speciesism seems backwards here: after all, it’s Rachel who’s canonically the snooty, upwardly mobile one. Class hatred seems more plausible, since Reeky clearly has none and maybe covets it? But on closer examination, it’s not Rachel but her kit who is the injured party here. So maybe the note is just a crude “Yo Mama” joke calling out Rachel’s embarrassingly prolific sexual behavior?

Mary Worth, 7/19/26

I know you share my disappointment that we won’t be seeing Tommy spiral hilariously back into the pit of drug-addicted despair. But we can take solace in recapping one of Wilbur’s many humiliations, can’t we? Looks like Mary’s on board!

—Uncle Lumpy