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Slylock Fox, 8/3/26

I have no idea what the relationship is between Count Weirdly and the little purple being who’s always hanging around his workplace/castle — is it his creation? his adopted child? his [gulp] biological child? was it spawned by some unnatural process that doesn’t fall into any of those three categories cleanly but falls into all of them in part? — but clearly it views the count in a paternal light, and it’s pretty devastating that it’s so excited to show off the Count’s supposedly legitimate business enterprise to Slylock, only for the Fox Detective to immediately debunk the whole scam. Also, unrelated, but I’ve never really had much reason to contemplate whether Weirdly was wearing anything under his trademark shapeless nightgown, but the very vivid buttrack on display here implies that he probably isn’t.

Crock, 8/3/26

The past is in fact another country, as this Crock strip from 1998 demonstrates. Sure, the idea of a boy baby aggressively hitting on a girl baby and being punished for it is timeless, but why is the girl named “Cyber”? Was this the setup to a joke about computers that turned out to be too hard to execute so they fell back on the classics, or did the Crock creative team in 1998 simply say “What are they naming girl babies these days? Cyber, right? That’s a word I hear a lot but I don’t know what it means, so it’s probably a girl’s name.”

The Lockhorns, 8/3/26

I spent some time trying to parse Leroy’s facial expression here and the conclusion I came to is that it’s supposed to represent “sophisticated horny.” Like he’s thinking, “Ah, yes, women’s beach volleyball … the intellectual’s sport. You get to enjoy athletes at the top of their game demonstrating their prowess at leaping and spiking the ball, all in a beautiful seaside setting. And if one of these statuesque competitors were to engender a pleasant feeling of arousal in me while I watched? Well, I’m mostly trying to keep tabs on various stats to see how my fantasy team is doing, but that would be an added bonus.”

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Family Circus, 7/19/26

Dolly, thou shalt not mock this sign of God’s displeasure, neither by crude sophistry nor by mooning His works.

Slylock Fox (panel), 7/19/26

“Is Reeky lying” isn’t much of a mystery: he obviously never cleans house, just look at the place. Also, he’s Reeky Rat, for Pete’s sake—”lying” tops his to-do list next to “squalor” and “pointless low-stakes crimes.”

But consider the original offense. What makes this note a “horrible” hate crime? Speciesism would be my first guess. With so many species around—seven or eight in this panel alone—some friction seems inevitable. But rat‑on‑rabbit speciesism seems backwards here: after all, it’s Rachel who’s canonically the snooty, upwardly mobile one. Class hatred seems more plausible, since Reeky clearly has none and maybe covets it? But on closer examination, it’s not Rachel but her kit who is the injured party here. So maybe the note is just a crude “Yo Mama” joke calling out Rachel’s embarrassingly prolific sexual behavior?

Mary Worth, 7/19/26

I know you share my disappointment that we won’t be seeing Tommy spiral hilariously back into the pit of drug-addicted despair. But we can take solace in recapping one of Wilbur’s many humiliations, can’t we? Looks like Mary’s on board!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Gearhead Gertie, 7/16/26

Really love Gertie’s gobsmacked look in the top panel here. Sure, she’s been dutifully putting away cash for retirement for her whole life. But what was it all for exactly? What exactly should she be spending her money on? There’s an open world of possibilities that’s almost too vast to get her head around! That’s why mere seconds later her brain obviously completely short-circuited and this whole narrative was replaced by NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE

Beetle Bailey, 7/16/26

I’m glad that the panels here get a thought balloon treatment showing that this whole alien encounter was all a dream of Sarge’s. Otherwise readers of the comic strip Beetle Bailey, where nothing outside of the experience of everyday real life ever happens, might be confused and terrified!

Slylock Fox, 7/16/26

Ha ha, wow! 1,728 words! That’s amazing, for a parakeet! Hey, quick question though, what the fuck is the deal with this giant dog sitting on the couch like a person and why does the lady sitting next to him have a facial expression that makes it look like she’s never seen him before in her life and only just now noticed he was there